I'm listening to "Hey Lover" by LL Cool J and Boyz II Men on repeat right now. Sexy as hell. I need someone in my life. A guy. A man. Someone, anyone. I'm not desperate. I'm also not bad looking or a jerk. I could have someone. I'm just choosey. And why shouldn't I be? The real question is where is he? I've been waiting ever since I read my first romance novel at 13. Seven wasted years waiting for someone who suits me. Idiotic. My mom taught me patience and never to settle for anything that I could have better of. It screwed me up. I want to settle. Three days ago I ran across a person I used to be friends with in junior high on myspace. I also had the biggest crush on him but my best friend was caught up in this weird love triangle with him and his best friend who was her boyfriend (she got pregnant at 16, big surprise). One day my best friend and her boyfriend had detention at lunch and it was just him and I at the table. We just laughed the entire time. No talking, just laughing. And it was one of the best times I had in school. He was a great kid. Anyway, when I saw his picture on the site I just started giggling. Not laughing because I remembered good times, but actual giggling. Like I was in the seventh grade again. And I thought it was a fluke but the next day I visited his site and the giggles started again. In fact, right now I'm giggling. This guy has kind eyes and he was always a really great person. I emailed him and he hasn't replied yet. I feel like I just passed him a note. This is not good. I haven't went all giggle-y in a long time. It's a sign of losing my mind over someone who probably doesn't deserve it. But LL's crooning in my ear makes me feel like anything is possible. Damn him.