2219 THE NINETIES

Feeling: eager
anybody under the age of 14 should not read this, and if you do, you should not repost this. Just because you were born in '92 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the nineties just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if: You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE!" You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House" You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off" It was all about "ALLLLLLLLLL THAT!" and, REPAIRMAN-MAN-MAN-man-man-mannn You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. you danced to "wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.) You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not... Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show. Captain Planet. You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the red* Ranger were meant to be together. To the last sentence you said.....hey...Tommy was the green* ranger!!!! *later to be white When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being tommy. You remember when super nintendo's became popular. You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders" "I've fallen and I can't get up" You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates Two words... Trapper Keeper. You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide You wore socks over leggings scrunched down "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show You remember boom boxes vs. cd players You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell" You played and or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff! All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.) You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out. You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes. You remember a time before the WB. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" ... enough said You thought Brain woud finally take over the world You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" You remember when everyone went slinky crazy. You remember when razor scooters were cool. when we were younger: Before the MySpace frenzy. Before the Internet & text messaging. Before Sidekicks & iPods. Before MIKE JONES Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX. WHEN LIGHT UP SNEAKERS WERE KOOL When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing. When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie. When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans. When 2Pac and Biggie where alive. When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever. bill-nye the science guy. MR RODGERS!!!! gulah gulah island When Toys R Us overuled the mall. The Show with the baby dinosour hitting his dad with a pan!!! The soccer cartoon, the kids played soccer, it was all about soccer. The Anamaniacs...or somethign like that...love that show When the original power rangers came on...all the girls wanted to be the pink ranger and the guys wanted to be the white or the green rager act like you didn't watch afro-king BOB ROSS paint happy trees on T.V. DID I DO THAAAAAAAAAT??? smud and yak back. skip it and bop it. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!! Your a 90's kid when you read this and smiled and laughed at least 5 of these. if you are a 90's kid, repost *sniffle* makes me miss the good ole days!
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2232one oh one

Listening to: Waiting.
Feeling: elated
101 Rules of Hardcore Contains a couple of grammatical mistakes, but what the fuck? its hXc!!!11!111 1) Be tough at all times. 2) Never cheer after a show, only clap. 3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way 4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire. 5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them. 6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 5 on how to see said tattoo more clearly. 7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough. 8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal. 9) (Exception to rule 8) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts. 10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends. 11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to town. 12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core. 13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style. 14) Keep it in the do-jo. 15) Real hardcore fans are called kids. 16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs! 17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Hulud. 18) Tell people you work in the music industry. 19) More Ankles people! 20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you. 21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again. 22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan. 23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes. 24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class. 25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain. 26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album. 27) Start your own hardcore band. 28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia. 29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible. 30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience. 31) People who know more bands than you are better than you. 32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX XmoshfuckX 33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny. 34) It's merch not Merchandise. 35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times. 36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating. 37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more hardcore you are. 38) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis. 39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal... steal the mic away from the singer. 40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff." 41) Buy all of that bands merch. 42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show. 43) Repeat steps 41 and 42 44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed ones. 45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well. 46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year. 47) Complain that they are playing with Slayer but don't admit you actually like Slayer. 48) Complain at all costs. 49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool 50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers. 51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference. 52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The mother fuck" or "kick that guys ass move" or better yet... stay home and cry. 53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms. 54) Scream about love. 55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink. 56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids. 57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band. 58) Wear your pins with honour! Shai Hulud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat and the purple heart of valour. 59) Velcro shoes are cool. 60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only. 61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood, Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly. 62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers. 63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone. 64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free. 65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough. 66) Re-issue your demos after every album. 67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play. 68) Crying on stage makes you a professional. 69) Complain some more. 70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend. 71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom ever is looking. 72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York. 73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional. 74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Ruben) 75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear. 76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk? 77) Bandanas are cool. 78) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler. 79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week you poser. 80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really. 81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band. 82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity. 83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended. 84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive. 85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch bootlegs of last weeks 86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle. 87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong. 88) Keep punching 89) Kick a little too 90) Punch 91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure. 92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm. 93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is. 94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy. 95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear. 96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body. 97) Straight bangs means straight-edge 98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm. 99) When in doubt Mock everything 100) Take everything personally. 101) Assume this list is about you
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i dont think this is it.

Feeling: abandoned
it's obviously all my fault and no one else has changed. just...do me a favor and don't try to huilt me into thinking this is my fault. i asked you before i knew she was going to be gone. why do i always have to be right. Come on, take a step towards me So you can figure me out I've been hoping and praying for a single way To show you what I'm all about And I know, and I know this is the only way of pleasing the crowds But when this is over and done with and we walk away There should be no doubts So let's get a little closer now Let's get a little closer now You say, you say that we're all tied up And wrapped around in useless, states of mind But at the same time we're still young We have the time to realize that we were wrong Come on love run with me Get the hell out of this town So we can get a better feel for each other I'll take you, back to, when you Remembered how you used to Just live your life a little for me Take the time to let it go Step away and watch me grow So let's get a little closer now Let's get a little closer now You say, you say that we're all tied up And wrapped around in useless, states of mind But at the same time we're still young We have the time to realize that we were wrong You can stay if you want to And I write to you and tell you how you've always been so special to me You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try You can stay if you want to And I write to you and tell you how you've always been so special to me You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try To keep you close to me You say, you say that we're all tied up And wrapped around in useless, states of mind But at the same time we're still young We have the time to realize that we were wrong
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Untitled

ive come to the conclusion that no one here likes me. im sorry i puked all over your stupid toilet seat. i thought you of all people would understand, evidently NOT. i came back and styed with you because i wanted to whether you believe it or not and now its four o clock and youre still awake and so is jess and alana and im drunk, i hguess. i just...i feeel like no one likes me and im so left out. at least they get to go to the commons. they take everything for granted. i mean im so lost and i have no best friend anymore. i thought these WERE my best friends. evidently not. i dont know i feel bad for puking all over the toilet seat and she says no one likes her. theres a million and one reasons i LOVE her. The other one says i've changed and become homophobic. not really. you just don't like me anymore. Now that you've got HER.The three of you seem to have so much fun without me. why do i even need to be in that room. i remember when we did this before, minus the margarita mix and koolaid. Listen to them Laugh. I get no laughs with good friends. i dont even know what theyre talking about. oh, goodness i want to vomit and vomit until my brains fall out of my head.i've been replaced.and i know this is the only way of pleasing the crowd. Brooke will be glad to hear this in two weeks. i dont know. im so lost. everythings so funny. she hates me.Her hates me. The other one doesnt understnad and theres snot running down my nose. i dont knwo. its so hard to grow up. i miss them all so much and now they play these games and i have no idea what theyre talking about.its so hard coming back and knowing NOTHING. remember when jonny came to the commons and we went to that New London party? what? we never went to ANY new london parties?i cant keep you close to me. i just...i cant eew snot. its all a game. i wanna sit here adn cry forever. look at you. now you can laugh with them. listen to that. i dont knwo. i wanna stay here. go to school here. grow up here. why did i have to move in the middle of my prime? i dont know ive changed theyve changed. nothing makes sense anymore. gosh why cant i just enjoy this? i know in forty eight hours it will be over. even sooner. i guess im staying at mike's tomorrow. with dad. alana doesnt want me., she's got "stuff to do" and sarah's going to see chad(i dont even know the kid and yet i hate him, loathe him. detest the kids name) come take a step twoards me so you can figure me out. ive been hoping and praying for a single way for you to figure me out. i knew at the beginning that we had changed. grown apart. you had barely said two words to me when we first walked in. im here now and what have we talked about? the movie. thats IT. oh, and Jake Lefever.I cant help it she doesnt remember your name, you dont amke an effort ...see? here i go again. getting angry instead of changing things. i dont even have best friends anymore. im all alone. who could love...or even stand to be around someone like this for five minutes?i just...i wanna go back to last year whe things were so perfect. friends were defined and known and now, im thrown in this basket of people who i dont know and i dont know how to handle. we I dont know this song makes so much sense to me, im so lost and alone even though im in a house wiht three of my best friends. and i dont even knwo who to talk to about it. how do i talk to my dad he'll jkust be like...get over it, drama happens. but thats not it its not drama. its just me feeling lost. i dont know what to do. ughh. maybe im just self centered for wanting to talk about me ALL the time. but i dont. i just want to be able to be included in conversation. im sorry. i really feel like i have no idea what youre talking about.i dont know. i wannna go home and just sleep my life away. but thats how im a slacker isnt it? just sleep all my problems away? why am i getting angry? i wish i could go to the commons. so bad. you have no idea how much i would trade just for that eight minutes to see my friends. to go back to how it was. shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart, we were all friends. not brought together by our love for sex, drinking, smoking or drugs. but by our love for EACH OTHER. and now im not sure if i feel that love anymore. Or, at least i dont feel like we're that close. i dont know. i feel bad blah Blah, i dont know i feel like no one here knows me and i dont know them anymore. i just want to go and sleep my life away. that'd make more sense than anything. uggh. i hate this. this feeling which happns to bother me every single day. its more difficult today. perhaps because its right there. fifty feet away., i've always known we were grow apart. but did i really think it would happen in ten/eleven months? i thought it would take years, decades. i i thought we would always be great friends, graduate together, have babies together, be in each others wedding.throw each other bridal/baby showers. evidently not. at the rate im going, i might not even get invited. Lets get a little closer now. we're all wrapped in useless states of mind/. we have the time to realize that we were wrong. ive typed all this in half an hour and having seven drinks and puking twice i guess i should get some rest. i dont know what tomorrow will bring.. i thought id never have to worry about a place to stay. and ehre i am, presented with the predicament of nowhere to stay tomorrow night. i dont want to go to mikes with dad and madi, but i dont want to stay somewhere im not welcome. i just...sometimes i wonder whether i should keep coming back. or i should just stay home. people like me better there....like me. i like me better there. we were wrong
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what happened to our love?

Listening to: Nothing
Feeling: anxious
Erik and Alyssa's 101 Questions oo1. What is your name? britanny oo2. Spell your name backwards? ynnatirb oo3. Date of Birth: 01/23/90 oo4. Male or female? the latter oo5. Astrological sign: none oo6. Nicknames: britts, britters, anders, fishbowl oo7. Occupation? Unemployed. oo8. Height: five feet seven inches oo9. Weight: too much o1o. Hair color: black, white, purple o11. Natural hair color: dark brown o12. Eye color: brown o13. Where were you born? willmar o14. Where do you reside now? circle pines o15. Age: fifteen o16. Age you wish you were: five o17. Screen names: fishbowlofclouds o18. E-mail: musicandmisery@hotmail.com o19. What does your screen name stand for? my nickname from mission o2o. What is your Myspace name? [18:3core]o21. What does you Blurty Name stand for?no idea o22. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake? fifteen o23. Piercings? eight o24. Tattoo's? zero o25. Shoe size: eleven in men's o26. Righty or lefty? right o27. Wearing: camo pajama pants, ashokin t-shirt, fallen stars and straps tshirt, tank top, bra, socks. o28. Hearing: grampa snore o29. Feeling: tired o3o. Eating/drinking: nothing, snot. ~Past~ o31. If you could take back one thing you did, what would it be and why? nothing. o32. Do you have any regrets? not reallly. o33. If you could get back together with an ex, who would it be and why? none of them...wel, maybe mike kessler, maybe o34. Do you have any best friends? yes o35. If so, who are they? Jeff, carlee, joanna, jenna, sarah alana o36. Who was the first best friend you ever had? joanna carlee and jeff ~Present~ o37. What cd is in your cd player? Krystal Meyers o38. How are you sitting? on a chair o39. Is there music on? yes. o4o. If so, what song is it?Ashokin Rebellio/Monday o41. What time is it? 0134 o42. Where are your parents?sleeping o43. What are you doing right now? this, on myspace, talking to mel, listening to ashoking, ~Future~ o44. Are you going to get married? hopefully o45. Although you cant tell who you'll marry, is there anyone you'd wish it would be? yes o46. If so, who? Jeff o47. Will you keep your last name? no o48. Are you going to have children? i dont know o49. If yes, how many? a few o5o. What will you name them? zion sapphira o51. How many cars will you have?: like two.. o52. What kind of car will you want to drive? ford focus o53. What kind of job will you have? musican/writer/photographer o54. Where will you live? on the road. o55. What kind of home will you be in? a tour bus...and mansion o56. Will you live in a city, or a suburb? city o57. Will you have a pool? erm...sure! o59. Will you live close to your family: no o59. Will you attend church regularly? yes ~girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~ o61. Have you ever been in love? no o62. How many people have you told "I love you"?pretty much everyone o63. How many people have you been in love with? none o64. Have you ever had your heart broken? yes o65. Who has broken your heart the worst? andrew. o66. How many guys/girls have you kissed? two o67. How old were you when you first kissed someone? fifteen o68. Who was it? andrew makela. o69. How old were you when you lost your virginity? i wasn't. o7o. How many people have you had sex with? zero o71. At what age did you have your first boyfriend/girlfriend? ninth ~Random Questions~ o73. What kind of shampoo do you use? herbal essences o74. Do you use conditioner? yeah o75. Including washing, how many products do you use on your hair total? a lot..like a bajillion o76. How long does it take to do your hair (post washing)? depends on what im doing to it. o77. How long do you take to get ready total? two minutes o78. Why is the sky blue? condensation o79. What’s your favorite smell (not scent)? warm summer eve, post-midafternoon shower o8o. Do you wear lipstick? no. o81. Do you do tanning? used to o82. Where is the last place you drove? Oasis o84. What color are your fingernails right now? ones balck. o85. Who’s the last person that called you? alana beth o87. Who is the last person you had a dream about? zach o88. Who’s the one person you can not stop thinking about right now? mel o89. Last tie you washed your hair? saturday o9o. Last time you showered? today. saturday o91. Last time you were really REALLY kissed? march o92. Last thing you watched on tv? Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving o93. Favorite room in your house? my room. or the kitchen o94. Last time you were sick? right now o95. Last wish you made? dont know o96. What is the current temperature right now? nineteen degrees o97. What color are your underwear? black and white o98. Do you say oops or woops? oops. o99. Name something weird that grosses you out? boys who are obssessed with sex and fish 100. What’s your biggest pet peeve? i dont know 101. What's your favorite phrase?erm..je ne sais pas.
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blah...

Listening to: nothing at all
Feeling: blah
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The SurveyName:BeeAreEyeTeaUhKneeBirthday:January TwentyThirdBirthplace:PennockCurrent Location:circle pinesEye Color:brownHair Color:black brown blonde and blueHeight:5' something.Right Handed or Left Handed:rightYour Heritage:...the bank?The Shoes You Wore Today:chuck taylors...the schooled onesYour Weakness:guys kissing, forks...Your Fears:ice, skates, falling, vegetablesYour Perfect Pizza:....the kind that doesnt exsist...Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:...Make One Friend hereYour Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:idkThoughts First Waking Up:...do not pee your pants...Your Best Physical Feature:my nose. or my tongue.Your Bedtime:when i get sick of talking on the phoneYour Most Missed Memory:...being in willmar...talking to Rollin inpersonPepsi or Coke:...cherry pepsi...MacDonalds or Burger King:subway...or fifty-cent tacosSingle or Group Dates:depends...Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:who careS? its teaChocolate or Vanilla:vanillaCappuccino or Coffee:capuccinoDo you Smoke:nopeDo you Swear:unHookedDo you Sing:...could be called that...Do you Shower Daily:nope.Have you Been in Love:nope.Do you want to go to College:sure. if the oppertunityarises.Do you want to get Married:sure. Do you belive in yourself:whenever i need a hug.Do you get Motion Sickness:depends.Do you think you are Attractive:to dogs.Are you a Health Freak:nopeDo you get along with your Parents:mmDo you like Thunderstorms:mmDo you play an Instrument:a few..bass, cello, guitar, flute, tuba, my noseIn the past month have you Drank Alcohol:yes:(In the past month have you Smoked:noIn the past month have you been on Drugs:noIn the past month have you gone on a Date:noIn the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes...of America...Roseville...Northtown...ah, the mall.In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:one...but theyre not in boxes?In the past month have you eaten Sushi:noIn the past month have you been on Stage:yes...my arms were on stage before the chapter 14 concert!In the past month have you been Dumped:nope.In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:nope.In the past month have you Stolen Anything:nope.Ever been Drunk:nope.Ever been called a Tease:nope.Ever been Beaten up:nope.Ever Shoplifted:nope.How do you want to Die:not by falling.What do you want to be when you Grow Up:im still a lil kid!...and olderWhat country would you most like to Visit:All the European ones.In a Boy/Girl..Favourite Eye Color:blue...brownFavourite Hair Color:...brown natural...black...dyed..or something outrageous.Short or Long Hair:depends...mohawk...or longHeight:tall, short, 'round my heightWeight:doesnt matter..average?Best Clothing Style:mmm...goth/punk with a Christain Edge...uniqueNumber of Drugs I have taken:none!Number of CDs I own:100+Number of Piercings:6Number of Tattoos:0Number of things in my Past I Regret:Zero!CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
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Say anything

Listening to: Suspension-Mae
Feeling: apathetic
"Suspension" Lately I'm alright and lately I'm not scared I've figured out, that what you do to me feels like I'm floating on air. I don't need to know right now all I know is I believe in the very thing that got us here and now I can't leave. Say anything, but say what you mean, cause I'm caught in suspension. Now, I'm wanting this for sure and I'll beg for nothing more. I'll plan all day and drive all night you'll love what's in store. I can't seem to stop this now even if it's not so clear, and I'll take what I can get. If you want me here (If you want me here) Say anything, but say what you mean. When you whisper you want this your eyes tell the same. We are gaining speed I can barely breathe. Cause I'm caught in suspension. It's enough for me to get excited, It's enough for me to feel...Oh! Say anything, but say what you mean. When you whisper you want this. Your eyes tell the same. We are gaining speed (suspension) I can barely breathe (Oh, please say what you mean) I'm caught in suspension (suspension) I'm caught in suspension. Say (say) anything (suspension) but say what you mean (Oh, please say what you mean) I'm caught in suspension (suspension) I'm caught in suspension. We are gaining speed (suspension) I can barely breathe (Oh, I can barely breathe) I'm caught in suspension (suspension) I'm caught in suspension. Say (say) anything (suspension) but say what you mean (Oh, I can barely breathe) I'm caught in suspension. i love this song. its on the tooth & nail vs. solid state cd i got for free at the HAWK NELSON concert.
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...i rock.

Listening to: Nothing.
Feeling: apathetic
Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76% Stability |||||||||||||||| 66% Orderliness || 10% Accommodation |||||||||||| 43% Interdependence |||||||||||| 43% Intellectual |||||||||||| 50% Mystical |||||||||||||| 56% Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Hedonism |||||||||||| 50% Materialism |||||||||||| 43% Narcissism |||||||||||| 43% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Work ethic || 10% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||| 70% Conflict seeking |||||||||||||||| 70% Need to dominate |||||||||||||| 56% Romantic |||| 16% Avoidant |||||||||||| 43% Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56% Wealth |||||||||| 36% Dependency |||||| 30% Change averse |||| 16% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63% Individuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Sexuality |||||||||| 36% Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Physical Fitness |||| 17% Histrionic |||||||||||||| 56% Paranoia |||||||||||| 43% Vanity |||||||||| 36% Hypersensitivity |||||| 23% Female cliche |||||||||||| 43% Take Free Advanced Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness results were very low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture
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maybe when.

Feeling: wretched
i've tweaked before but not this bad this is the worst its happened for a while now. it makes me a little aprehensive for the future. im failing almost every class MISERABLY i NEED to go home. it wont be the same unless i do. i need a good friend. someone to keep my ramblings at bay. to keep my hair parted and my pants up. maybe when the room is empty maybe when the bottle's full maybe when the door gets broke down maybe when im done with thinking you can think me whole. maybe when im done with endings this can begin maybe when youd hair gets darker maybe when your eyes get wide maybe when the walls are smaller there will be more space maybe when im not so tired maybe you could step inside. maybe when i look for things i cant replace. i feel like maybe it could never happen.
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i have angst and why do i have angst because i dont effing know what to write in my diary because i dont want it to be all about boys because boys are stupid because they confuse me because i cant stop thinking about them because they confuse me. so im watching the phantom of the opera the new one and i dont get why they make a big deal of when he takes off his mask because i mean hes not really THAT ugly. i dont think. someone nto ugly wouldbe kyle. he is adorable. oh em gee no lie i want to hang out with him so bad. soo effing bad. i know this was short but no one reads it anyways. ♥ britanny
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Listening to: Price to Play-Staind
OH EM GEE... last week, Jessi was trying to teach me how to play American Idiot on bass...and last night, i came home, tuned Zion, and started putzing around on it. I finally got it right, so now i know how to play the bassline to American Idiot by Green Day. be proud. then, i went and got some more bass tabs, so i can officially play: Letters to you-finch, its been awhile-staind, A favor House Atlantic-Coheed and Cambria Punk Rock Princess-Something Corporate I Woke Up in a car-Something Corporate I want to save you-something corporate as you sleep-something corporate american idiot-green day
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He Calls

Feeling: challenged
whispers hopes that she looks his way, in teh meantime he sits at her window and she turns and smiles he calls her beatiful and he reaches out his hand, his heart expldes inside whens he looks his way...come away he calls her as he looks in her eyes, come away to the mountians, and together, we'll arise...he calls her beautiful and he reches out his hand, his heart explodes inside, when she looks his way and night after night after night on her bed she exalts him...will you look his way?
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...i knew it would come to this.

Feeling: apathetic
Comer is real. is justin real? ive never seen him ive never touched him. Comer, ive touched, seen, smelt, hugged...i KNOW he exsists, not that im thinking justins a figment of my imagination. because im pretty sure figments of my imagination don't call me and talk to me. but its so hard, ive known him for like five months. and i like him. but. it can't happen. im not in any place for a relationship, especailly a long distance one. And he's not either, with his girlfriend and all, so should i just give up? i've waitied so long,and i want this more than anything, but i'm sick of waiting...its so hard not to blame him..but now, im afraid. i cant let him go.im cying as i write this. we have been such a disaster from the start. Comer's hugged me, let me fall asleep with him, held me, played with my hair. i mean, i know he's here. its hard oh so effing hard. i dont ever want to give up justin. ever. but it could never work. i dont know. i hate this. im such a disaster.
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...*sigh*...

Feeling: lovely
I think its happened three times now. Have you ever like felt secure enough being with one person where you can sleep with them, not like sex, just sleeping. or maybe its like on the phone. you feel secure enough with them if you snore you know they wont care. That's how it is with Justin.I LOVE HIM. Its hard to tell he says its mutual and stuff but.. oh wow. he makes me so happy. he makes me feel like the princess of the world and i'd do anything for him. we're best friends. i mean, i think hes closer than any of my other guy friends are.Now with every up there must be a down right? justins downs: his girlfriend. Yeah i dont know whats my problem with his girlfriend...oh wait...yes, his girlfriend ISNT ME.and i really wish it was...i mean some person is going to come on here and leave me an annonmyous comment saying quit trying to mack on other peoples guys...shut up. you dont know. ANYWHO.yeah. i really want to be his girlfriend..and i want to be his to cuddle with and snuggle with and fall asleep with.
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i dont think you notice me...

Listening to: nothing...
Feeling: abandoned
i walk into this new school of twenty two hundred kids each day and look at all the people, though i know i havent seen them all. I look at them, and i feel as if im invisible, maybe even nonexsistant. at times, i definately think if i were in willmar what would i be doing? and then i remember i'm the only one that left, they're all still there and they get to see each other EVERYDAY. and i see them pretty much next to never. or, hell, i pretty much never get phone calls from them, ya know, do they even really miss me... and now im afraid i've lost it...lost contact with the Fab Five. No, i take that back. Joanna and Carlee i still converse with like at least twice a week, which ya know is nice. but, well, maybe im kidding myself, i love them all don't get me wrong, but even my friends not in the fab five..how close were we when i lived there? pretty dern close i thought. was i wrong? is it wrong of me to be questioning my friendships with my best friends? or even my new friends im doing it now too. i mean they're really nice but theyre all into anime and stuff...and im not...really...i mean id rather go to a concert than read an anime book, and i have yet to find a friend who feels the same. and its going to be hard to deal with but i really do hope i find one because, i cant just keep taking my sister, hell, she blew me off today for her new friends, even though last night we were going to go to the sivlerline concert. and you know what? i didnt get to go...well, i was going to because after school i called alyssa and she was like yeah i can an wanna go so i was lik okay and they she got her saddle and ditched me, which i dont blame her for. so instead i ended up taking a seven hour nap...yeah.
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this=cherry coke

Listening to: Secret-Maroon 5
Feeling: blah
Bands // Song TitlesCreated by BourdiezFreak and taken 28996 times on BzoinkChoose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:Fall Out BoyAre you female or male:I Slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this song written about meDescribe yourself:sophmore slump or comeback of the yearHow do some people feel about you:seven minutes in heavenHow do you feel about yourself:the worlds not waitingDescribe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:dead on arrivalDescribe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:its not a side effect of cocaine, i think im in loveDescribe where you want to be:of all the gin joints in the worldDescribe what you want to be:grenade jumperDescribe how you live:the music or the miseryDescribe how you love:a little less sixteen candles, a little more touch meShare a few words of wisdom:dance danceCreate a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to Bzoink
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Feeling: heartbroken
i have gotten my heart broken...not once, this summer, but twice. both by boys...who live nowhere near me. the first time was with rollin..if we didnt live like two thousand miles apart...more like...two blocks...we'd go out. we are so made for each other. no lie...we get each others sense of humor and dumb jokes. we feed off each other...or, at least we did, for that week we were inseperable...two peas in a pod, it was inevitable and undeniable that we liked each other.although, not to each other...to others, yes, but not to us, we were oblivious to the fact that the other would like ourselves...we were the mission trip snoggers, as jeff called us and the week long romance, as everyone else called us...stupid minnesota and dumb girlfriends. i wept with sorrow the instant i realized i would never see him again. Now thats enough to break your heart right? now this... alright...so0o0 I met Justin through Jake, whom i met through Jenna, whom i love and sorta through Jess and Jess, whom i also love equally. mainly it was Jenna though, anyways so she sorta hooked the two of us up and that was a BIG disaster. anyways, its over, via voicemail. so, a while back, he had introduced me and joanna to his neighbor, justin. and by introduced, i mean he three way called the two of us, joanna and me and then justin would call and he'd add him and we'd all talk...Justin and i hit it off pretty much from there...i always thought when people say that they're just corny sounding.anyway, jake evidently can NOT tlka to one person at a time on the phone and has to include several others, so, on several occasions, it has been me and justin, and on a few occasions, kelly, now who is kelly?...well...to my stupidity, kelly is justins fourteen yearoldgirlfriend who hates me, according to jake...and up until last week, kelly was just a friend of theirs...who hated me. now, see. i knew justin had a girlfriend, i just didnt know who. and yeah i'd tease him about being seventeen and having a fourteen year old girlfriend...he'd always be like..im gonna come there and we're gonna hang out...and i was like...right...and just a buncha other stuff, which i dont feel like sharing with you...becase, he is a guy, and tends to get horny at night, and tends to say things when he is horny, and they are not always things he means. anyway...so, i think the biggest slap in the face came last week...jake was like, yeah, justins prolly on the phone with kelly...adn i was like ...i thought YOU and kelly were friendds and hes like...no...thats justins girlfriend..and i started crying instantly... i knew he had a girlfriend...i just didnt know it was kelly...and...i dunno...not that me and her are enemies, just...why does he have to go out with her...and then the other night, we both slapped ourselves in the face with reality HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND...that isnt meand we shouldnt be talking about some of the things we were..and...e talked ..like talked intellectually for about an hour and a half or so...more like i talked and cried and he listened and i apologized for him having to listen...and then he said...'im not going to have a girlfriend forever...'...and 'im as close to you as i can get without going out with you...' gawl, i really like him a lot...and...i just i dont know...it hurts...and evidently, im his best girl friend. i dont know...he says he likes me...but how can i believe him? im so...i dunno maybe he does like me...im so unassured of myself when it comes to guys. like, i look at myself and wonder why any guy in his right mind would like me..it hurts and i love them both. so thats me and whats on my mind
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...blah.

Listening to: nothing...
Feeling: bipolar
i just thought that because, no one reads this and no one knows who i am. i'd put that there(see below)...i think i love how no one reads and comments on this diary. if people knew it was me other than the select few i've told, they'd FREAK. blah. its more raw and real. its kinda scary. wether im on rages or in a happy spell, this is where it goes. and i like that. and no one reads it, so its really like an actual diary...my other one has 'offended' so many people who like are spastic...and i wanted to get the point across that what the hell is the point of a diary, if you can't write in it what you want...then the point is defeated..
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BOYS=STUPID

Listening to: nothing...
You know why i cant put a mood up there? because theres so many running through me...and yes, it is that time of month, so thats part of it...but.... i feel... TIRED-got like...three hours of sleep last night because steph and polo were here, then decided itd be a genius idea to stay up till three editing myspace...(http://myspace.com/mywardrobeisblack...check it out...see what took me so long!) then i was gonna get up and go to church but decided against it because i felt sick...mom then decided itd be a wonderful idea to go school picture shopping....so we did that for nine hours.... FRUSTERATED-my computer is being...just...plain old dumb...it keeps siging me out of msn explorer and just...angers me..and it has a crapola load of spyware...so thats justwonderful...and id use the laptop but that moves slower than my uncles dead grandma riding a dead snail.....so thats my computer problems... LEFTOUT-I barely ever talk to my friends from willmar anymore, with the exception of Alana Sarah and Joanna, i have talked to no one from willmar for at least two weeks. and then, I talked to Joanna on the phone this afternoon and i guess Jenna's had herself a little get together...and dont get me wrong thats effing great...seriously, i hoped some of my friends would hang out together this summer..but...and no, I DONT EXPECT TO GET INVITED....which leads me to... LONELY-i know a total of four people here...Alyssa, who ive hung out with a few times and absolutely adore, its just...shes madis age, and doesnt go to my school....Stefan, who...i've talked to a total of once in like...May, and he goes to my church...Chelsea, who i talked to in May with Stefan and also goes to my church...and Chelsey...who also goes to my church and is my age...and i think in my band....they're all really nice and all... but i dont feel like...they really like me...well, Chelsea and Stefan i dont expect to remember me, but Chelsey and i have about the same taste in music....and Alyssa, well if she doesnt like me too dang bad, i like her! And...I will know ABSOLUTELY NO ONE at school...which, i admit, will make me feel even worse, seeming...im so used to being around my friends...it'll almost be uber-uncomfortable... and im over with how i feel... TOMORROW IS SCHOOL PICTURES and im not really looking forward to it very much... normally Joanna and i go to them together, get our pics taken together and compare schedules...we'd have at least one class together this year...first block band and choir(id have the extra op of orchestra...)*tear*...LIFE IS SO UNFAIR
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