I'm trying very hard to understand why people lie. I know some lie to hide mistakes, stay out of trouble, protect feelings, or impress, but what about just plain lies. stories. people who tell stories. I want to know why. I'm home from school and i don't understand why trevor still lies to me all the time. about everything. I've been able to just ignore them but its getting old, and by now he should know that i can tell hes lieing. He said goodbye to me in a letter because he was leaving for california. friday. then monday. then 4 on tuesday morning. hes still here. I can't take him seriously, anything he does. his letter was touching, truely, but then when he showed up at my house with my friends, it meant nothing to me immediately. I just don't understand.

Last night I hung out with Nate lukas andrew sam and trevor. Andrew was awkward. really awkward. i had seen him since the lake, but it was at the party. Im so mad at trevor. Last night would have been perfect without him. Im not sure im even upset that theres a slight chance he is going to cali. I just don't know what to believe anymore. hes so dumb. I cant handle it anymore. I just want to hang with lukas. and hook up with nate. thats all. I got over the initial need for nate, now its just fun for me. and i haven't had sex in a while.