alright, i just check my comments today on this and i saw that the ONE new one was this 'I hope you get pregnant and die... [anonymous (24.180.88.109)]' FIRST OF ALL. this story is only partically true, you dumb jealous cunt. i am still a virgin....and i really dont think i can die from being pregnant unless some evil monster crawled inside me or something. haha. and i find this so funny. people write hate, but dont have the FUCKING guts to say who they are. this is the first bad comment ive ever gotten on this story so honestly, im not that offened. and by writing this little letter to whomever wrote that comment is not saying that i am offened; it is only to show the rest of the world how stupid 'You' are.

ATTENTION; EDITED Me- dude. go up and get Brody so he can help Sarah- no. i cant move when i smoke Me- liar. ill go get him ...like i didnt want to And she kept watching TV laughing at all the stupid shit that came on because she was so baked. I walked up the stairs just to catch him sleeping. When i got to his room i looked inside, he wasnt there. I realised he was in the shower when i heard the water running. Unlucky me right? not. I knock on the door and waited. A few seconds later, to my suprise, the door was being opened. Brody opened the door with the cutest, most devilish smile ive ever seen on anyone. He was naked Me- hey...whats up? Brody smiled that smile again Brody- Im just about to get in the shower Me- Oh yea? Well, I was just coming to get you so you could help us...with something Brody- Well, Im gonna be busy for a while Me- Busy with what? Brody- You. I wasnt about to object to the offer, more like instrution. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in and shut the door behind us. I had no trouble taking my clothes off because Brody did all the work for me. Cover your ears children... When I went downstairs, sarah was raiding the fridge and had already done the cupboards. Sarah- Man! We gotta make some cupcakes! Me- Hell yea! Sarah- We dont hae any cupcake mix...i dont think Me- Did you look Sarah- Yea man, cant you tell? Me- Lemme look The first cabnet door i opened had four boxes of four different types of cupcake mix in the back Me- Did you look in this one Sarah- Yea! There not in there. We gotta go get Brody so he can take us to go get some. Me- Dude your an idiot, theres four boxes right here Sarah- oh... We both started geekin While Sarah was mixing the mix, i rolled up a blunt. Me- 'Baking blunt'

I ran so fucking fast, I impressed myself. So here was my plan; I would wait in the basement for a little while, maybe five minutes, THEN I would come up and pretend everything was all cool. But, seeing as I’m very close to having ADD I found it very hard to sit my ass still. So I went to the box of ‘party supplies’ (heeheehee) and found a bong and I knew there was some left over shit upstairs so I just would go up there pretending I was looking for a bong. So I go upstairs and nobodies in the living room; AKA the place we smoked up last night and where the weed was. So I started filling up the bowl, and I here someone coming down stairs. I start taking my first hit. After I do, I turn around and Sarah’s there. Me- *cough cough* hey *cough* Sarah- where were you? Me- looking for this and I lifted the bong and showed it to her Sarah- well...lets hurry up and smoke this shit, we have to get ready for the party Me- what I planning on doing in the first place ...when we’re done... Sarah- alright, you ready? Me- yea...but where’s Brody? Sarah- I don’t know upstairs sleeping still Me- alright Slick? I know Sarah- my brother wants us to charge a 5 dollar entry fee for everyone that shows up Me- awe...we don’t get any then? Sarah- well...we could tell everyone that it’s a 10 dollar fee instead Me- oh oh!!! Looks like we’re gonna get some muh-nayyy Sarah- I know I know, I’m a genius Me- eh...don’t get too ahead of yourself now... Sarah- fuck you

Him- Great and then we just laid there. It was really nice. Then I started dazing off, and I didn’t want Sarah to find us outside naked or whatever. Him- We have to go back up there Me- I know...I don’t want to Him- same here... Me- *yaaaaaawwwwnnnnn* just a few more minutes? Him- ok.... I put my head on him bare chest and fell asleep Next time I open my eyes it’s a little brighter outside Me- shit...dude what time is it? Him- what? Me- put your clothes on Him- yea...ok (stretching) After we got our clothes on, we walked up to the cabin. Sarah was still passed out on the couch, so Brody and I decided to go upstairs and sleep. It was around 6.30 when we came back, and we knew that Sarah wouldn’t b up anytime soon. So I decided to lie next to him. After a few minutes I closed my eyes. But right before I fell asleep, he said ‘Are you always that pretty when you sleep?’ OMG!!! ‘...I don’t know...I can’t really see myself when I sleep’ Him- Well I bet you are Me- You’re so dumb dude, I swear. And we starting making out I woke up to foot steps. COMING FROM FUCKING DOWNSTAIRS!!! fuck. and Brody was still lying next to me, still half naked, and so was I. But being the smart ass that I am, I got up and rolled under the bed. Sarah- BRODY?! is Marilyn in here? Brody- uh....what?...do you see her? Sarah- No Brody- ok then. and he rolled over on his side and Sarah left. Shit!! I heard her checking for me in the room down the hall from the stairs, so I crawled out from underneath the bed and ran downstairs.

Right when we got outside he put his arm around me. We got as far as the end of the deck and then we just stopped. The deck was pretty big; it had some sun chairs on it but that’s all. The weather was really nice; it was warm with a cool breeze from the lake. Brody took my hips and turned me so I was facing him. God he had the most beautiful eyes in the fucking world. Then he brought us together so our middles were touching. Him- You know you’re really beautiful? Me- uh...thanks and I kissed him Him- No really Me- ok Him- ok. just so you know eeeee hahahah He started kissing me neck and telling me about all the things he loved about me.....! ! ! ! I don’t even remember how we ended up on one of the chairs, but we did. Things just got hotter and hotter... And before I knew it both our shirts were off. Then after a while longer...so was my bra. hahaha Oh...and bout 10 seconds later so were my pants, you all can guess what happens next. Him- You wanna go out with me? Me- (HECK YES!!!) Yea Him- Good cause I really like you Me- What about Sarah? Him- You wanna go out with me AND Sarah? Me- Shut up, you know what I mean Him- I don’t know. What about her? Me- Won’t she be mad if we go out? Him- I don’t know. Me- Come on Him- I really don’t know, I’ve never gone out with any of her friends before. Me- ... Alright and I kissed him

I was laying on the bed listening to music and Brody walked in and laid down on his side next to me. I looked at him and he smiled. Me- what? Him- I don’t know. Me- then why are you smiling? Him- .... He kissed me. It was so good. Ten times better then Jake had ever kissed me. Jake.... No. You know what? I don’t even feel bad now. It’s his fault he hurt me. AND if he can have fun, so can I. His kiss was so strong. He had my head in his one hand and his other gliding on my stomach. teehehe... Then he stopped, looked at me, and started again. After about 5 minutes of that, I stopped him and told him we should finish this later. Him- Why? It was getting so good Me- I know, but Sarah’s all alone downstairs and...Oh shit here she comes!! Him- fuck!!! Me- go over by my CD’s. Hurry!! I turned around so she couldn’t see my mouth. She opened the door Sarah- what movie should we watch you guys? Me- um...I don’t know. What do you guys have? Sarah- Come down and look Me and Brody- alright When she left Brody and I looked at each other, and he came back over to the bed and tried to start up again when I said...’you know...we do have all night....’ He gave me a sexy smile and kissed me on my nose. It was so hot it made me shiver. So we walked downstairs and Sarah had already picked Alice In Wonderland. .............................................. Through out the movie we smoked up. Holy shit, if you haven’t watched Alice while high, you’re fucking miss-ing-out. That shit was crazy. And that cat was like a god. It was maybe 2am and Sarah was past out on the couch. So I turned the TV off and told her that Me and Brody were going for a walk.

Her- took you long enough Me- I had to look good enough for your brother Her- shut up, and get in the car Me- yes your majesty It seemed like it took us forever and a day to get to the restaurant. It was maybe...12:30 when we got there to eat our breakfast, haha. The place was cute; it kinda reminded me of the one from now and then. We got the corner table and ordered a pitcher of apple juice. After we order the juice, Sarah left to use the bathroom. Oh jeez, Brody looked so beautiful. He was sitting in the middle of us and he had his legs in a pretzel. So we were just talking like normal. But when Sarah came back I guess she thought we were flirting because she looked like she wanted to beat the crap outa me. Gosh...people these days. After breakfast we went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of munchies...hehehe... with the money Sarah’s and Brody’s mom gave us. Then we went to this pizza place and order like 23859728495 million pizzas for tomorrow!! I’m so fucking excited!! When we got back to the cabin Brody started bringing his stuff in...he was gonna be sleeping here.....AAHHHHHH ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! And then the phone rang, I didn’t think much of it and just sat down and turned on the TV. Sarah- Hey! How’s it going?....yea she’s here, do you want to talk to her?...oh...alright. yea. That would be fine...no, of course I won’t...we’ll see you then...ok...bye. Me- Who was that? Sarah- Nobody Me- Tell me Sarah- It’s a surprise. Me- Come on!! Sarah- No. Me- Please? Sarah- No. Me- FINE!!! .... Me- GAH!!! I got up and went to my room.

Holy shit…all you stoners, remember to talk to Sarah’s brother, because you guys needa buy some of this. It is so gooooood. Damn, we prank called people from the phone book here, and it was soooooo fucking funny. All I can remember is me and Sarah laughing our asses off to this one kid who answered the phone. hahaha. Annnnnnnnywho… So Sarah and I ended up watching a bunch of DVD’s and falling asleep on the fuzzy-lovey bear skin rug, after eating all the cereal and chips AND granola bars that were left in the cabin. I woke up at around 1 in the afternoon and Sarah wasn’t next to me. So I got up and look in the kitchen and she was just sitting there reading, I know I already said this but she is so pretty; and I guess she didn’t notice I was up, so I decided to take a picture of her. When she heard the click she jumped a little and looked over at me. (After I had used the bathroom….) Her- I’m hungry Me- Me too Her- Let’s go and get something Me- Other people live around here? Her- My brother’s here. He can drive us. Me- oh… Sarah’s Brother was so fucking sexy...he was sexier then Bert McCracken of The Used, and that bitch is sexy. Brody…that’s his name…he has black hair, and is skinny and sweet and lovely…and plays guitar in a kick ass local band AND he’s only 17. Her- I already asked him and he said he’d drive us pretty soon so get dressed babe. Me- Alright I decided to wear my pink Underoath shirt, black bra, black thong and black pants with my chucks. And of course you could see my bra through my shirt. What bitch?! Yeah, I AM a slut like that. haha…I’ll stop. I put my newly dred-ed hair into pig tails. Her- Let’s go bitch Me- You know it We walked into the car and her brother was already out there.

Sarah- we kept dating and then he told me… She started balling Me- Its’ ok Sarah- No its not Me- …do you want to stop? Sarah- No, I might as well tell you now so I can get it off my chest… Me- ok She wiped her tears on her sleeve and half smiled. Sarah- He told me that before we started our ‘sexual relationship’ he was fucking some other chick that goes to his school Me- What?! Sarah- I know. Then he told me that when we first had sex he ditched the girl completely… Me- What the fuck? So, he used the girl until you gave him sex? Sarah- (nothing) Me- I’m sorry Sarah…that was a little harsh Sarah- It’s ok, I’ve already thought about that fact. Me- I’m really…..speechless… Sarah- The chick he was doing might have had and STD My jaw fell And Sarah looked down. Me- That’s…horrible Sarah- Tell me about it Me- Is he going to get tested? Sarah- He said sometime this week Me- Do you know what the other girl had? Sarah- I don’t know, and I don’t even think Charlie does either. Our surroundings were quiet. I could even hear the outside trees in the wind. Me- Let’s bring this stuff upstairs Sarah- Good idea…I feel like not crying anyways Me- lets crack open that weed!! Sarah- haha, will do And we smoked...for I don’t even know how long and I don’t even know how much, but I gotta remember to ask her brother to buy me more of it because that’ shit was gooooood!!!

Sarah pulled her arm away and said ‘what do you think?’ Then we just sat there for a while. How could she do that? And why? I felt so bad…and not just because she tried to take her life (more than once…which was obvious) and didn’t tell me about it, but because I make fun of cutters. I say that they only do it for attention and that they don’t really want to die, because if they did, they’d be dead by now. But this is what really made me feel bad, I’ve told her how I felt about cutters so many times…she never defended them in anyway. Me- Why didn’t you ever say anything? Sarah- Because… Me- Please...Sarah let me try to help Sarah- There’s nothing you can do Me- Well then at least tell me so I know There was a silence Sarah- I never said anything because I know how you feel about…about people like me My heart sank…and I became really…I don’t know what I was feeling right then but there was a lot going on in my mind. Me- You could have just told me to shut up…or tried to say something about it She looked up at me and smiled…but I could see tears forming over her eyes. She blinked and one rolled down her face. She took the back of her hand and wiped it away; I saw the cuts once more. They were fresh and deep…they looked so hurtful. Sarah- What could you do about it? Me- Nothing; but I’d try to talk to you about it so you don’t… Sarah- Kill myself? Me- Yea… Sarah- I don’t want to die…I just think that hurting my self on the outside will take my mind off the pain on the inside. Me- Why? She was starring at the wall…and tears falling into her lap, until she looked over at me Sarah- You remember Charlie? Me- Yea Sarah- and do you remember how I just stopped talking about him? Me- Yes? Sarah- It’s because…he kind of raped me Me- Kind of? Sarah- Yes…kind of, because I didn’t want to in the first place, but then I finally agreed. And this didn’t get me mad at all because he’s the best guy I ever dated. Me- Then what happened? Sarah- We just kept having sex…until one day we were in his car and he didn’t have a condom…but we too…’into everything’ to stop. A few weeks later I was late…and I didn’t need a test to tell me I was going to have a child. She wasn’t looking at me…she was just talking. Not one emotion in her eyes…probably because they were all covered up by tears. Sarah- I couldn’t even cry when I found out…because I was so fucking confused. And since Charlie and I had a close friend ship, I told him. He asked me what I was going to do and he thought it would be fine- Me- Wait do what? Sarah- I told him I was going to punch myself…in the stomach She looked at her belly Sarah- And it said he wasn’t ready to be a daddy but he would take care of it if I decided to keep it. That night I beat myself up as bad as I could…I almost threw up, then I got my period. Me- Well then why are you depressed? It sounds like everything turned out fine Sarah- ha…well you haven’t heard the best part.

Even though every damn bone in my body ached, I was still curious. As soon as I started walking towards the stairs, Sarah stopped me; ‘hang on, lets see the cellar, my brother told me there’d be ‘stuff’ in there if you know what I mean by ‘stuff’. I laughed and said ‘ok, man, your moms gone, you don’t have to not say drugs.’ Sarah replied ‘SO! Its more funner that way’. I kinda mumbled ‘more funner?’ and Sarah laughed. I followed her to the back of the room. There was an open door that led into dark. Me- where’s the light? Sarah- how the fuck should I know? Me- it’s your fucking cabin Sarah- SO! Me- Sarah! I can’t see! Where are you!? Sarah- Shut up! God I can see you perfectly Me- It’s not my fault I’m afraid of the dark. Sarah- Actually it is Me- Hey I found the light! Sarah- Do you want a sticker? And this is how are relationship was…one of a kind huh? All I could see were boxes covered up by boxes Me- What the fuck? There’ nothing but boxes. Sarah- Kid, calm down. He told me he covered the shit up incase my mom came down here or something. Me- ok Sarah- he said he labeled the box ‘PARTY SUPPLIES’ Me- (laughing) that’s great!! We both started moving the boxes, occasionally opening one or another. I had found on with a bunch of photos in it. I made fun of Sarah for ever wearing a big ass red bow on her head, all she did was blame her mom. Sarah- hmm…look what Sarah found Me- what? Sarah- haha!! Porn Me- haha, really? Sarah- yea. HOLY SHIT! This is crazy. Me- Let me see. Sarah- Here (and she shoved a picture of some whores ‘going at it’ on a bed into my face) Me- Dude, this would be hilarious if this was your dad’s! Sarah- (and all she did was glare at me) Me- Sorry lighten up Sarah- No, man, its cool. I know it’s not my dad’s, my mom told me they have a really adventurous sex life Me- Whoa! LITTLE too much information there, let’s just keep looking Sarah- well you’re the one who brought it up Me- I didn’t want you to get into detail Sarah- I didn’t go into detail…but I can Me- what? She told you details? Sarah- yea, she said this one time they were in a plane’s bathroom and my dad was on top of her and- Me- ok man stop, I’ve heard enough Sarah- ha…fine Me- Anyways I found the ‘party supplies’ Sarah- really? Awesome, open it I did what she said…and there were drugs like crazy. I didn’t even know what half of them were called. And I couldn’t keep my eyes off the 2 huge bags of weed. I said to Sarah ‘Is there a machine big enough to smoke that all in?’ But she was too busy going through the rest of them to respond It wasn’t until she lifted up a bag of shroom’s that I noticed some marks on her wrist. I grabbed her arm and asked ‘….what did you do?’

I decided to listen to Atreyu while I waited. Within about 5 minutes they showed up. I ran into her car. We said our hellos. And just talked until we got on the freeway, then we started watching Edward scissor hands because Sarah is a rich ass and has nice stuff; but its cool because she never really over does it and brags…that’s why I love her!! Sarah was bound to have a shit-load of weed she always did. Some of her friends would probly bring other drugs too…and I didn’t know what I was going to do with them….or even if I was going to do them….Sarah was really pretty. She had short black hair worn in cute little pig tails most of the time. The ride seemed to take forever. We stopped at A&W for some food but for most of the ride I was either sleeping or listening to music. Some times we would just put in a CD in the car’s player and we’d all listen to it. At last we finally made it to the cabin! I would bet that the nearest house was a mile or 2 away. When we stepped out of the car my legs hurt like hell from not being able to stretch. With my first breath I smelled the pines. It had just finished raining and the sun wasn’t out yet. I thought it looked beautiful. I took a picture or two (or four) of my surroundings. We grabbed our bags and headed into the cabin. With one turn of a key we were in. First was the big room; a wide open area with a huge TV and 2 couches. There were thousands of DVDs just waiting to be watched sitting on one of the walls. On the other side of this room was a large fire place for people to sit while toasting there asses. There was a large bear skin rug right in front of it. I said to myself…’it’d be fun to have sex there’. And then I laughed to myself. And I got a weird look from Sarah and her mom for doing it too (hehe). Anyways, there was a few tables and chairs scattered around the room, including this really awesome coffee table with pillow seat really close to the floor. The kitchen had everything a person would need to make a meal. It had three bathrooms and there were maybe 5 bedrooms and the whole basement was full of all this really cool shit. Man. I LOVE SARAH!!! Sarah and I said goodbye to her mom and she told us that there was food in the fridge for us and to call her if we needed anything. Then she gave us both a kiss on the forehead and went out to the car and drove away. We both quickly ran downstairs because when we were down there previously we saw the wine cellar and a large fridge. The whole thing was full of beer and vodka and other yummy stuff. We looked at each other and she said ‘this is gonna be so awesome!!’ and we just laughed. I was so fucking excited.

Oh god…just the feeling of his soft tongue took all my depressing thoughts away. When I breathed in I could smell the cigarette smoke on his clothes... After about 20 minutes of that I decided o needed to go home, even though I didn’t want to. He told me he loved me. I said nothing… Him- alright…bye bye pookie And then he kissed me. Me- ill see you around baby. Then I started walking home. Right after I turned the corner I starting smiling like crazy. I knew I was blushing. And then I started to laugh. No one knew how happy I was. I don’t think I even knew. ‘We’re back together’. It kept going through my head. AHHH!!! (I knew I was mad but who gives a shit if you’re happy about it?) I started running home…ha, I needed exercise anyways, and I had to call Tati. When I got home I ran inside, grabbed the phone, slammed my door, and started dialing. Tati- hi (in a tired scratchy voice) Me- guess what just happened!! Tati- I don’t know Me- guess!!! Tati- I don’t know tell me Me- guess!!! Tati- MARYLIN Me- ok, we made up! Tati- who? Me- DUH! Me and Jake!!! Tati- well how was I supposed to…what? Me- me-and-Jake-are-back-together Pause Tati- you know he’s just going to break your heart again? WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! This was not the response I was looking for Tati- Why would you fall back into his arms again? Me- (speechless) I slumped into my chair Tati- I know he’s going to hurt you again I hadn’t thought about that yet…or the pain he put me through, I could only think of the good times we had together. Me- well tell me then, what the hell would you have done if a guy you loved was on his on his knees begging for you? Tati- but dude, he fucking cheated on you Me- yea…but it sure seemed like he was sorry when I saw him… Tati- I still think you’re an idiot Me- what the fuck man? I did what any girl in my position would have done. You just don’t know Tati- I guess you’re right Me- I gotta go. I might call you when I get to the cabin or something Tati- alright, see ya later Me- bye It was 2.46. I couldn’t wait to go. It was going to be so awesome. I grabbed all my shit I hadn’t packed yet. Like my toothbrush, a brush, my makeup and some more hair dye incase me and Sarah got bored. Haha. I looked at the clock again and it said 3.06, I put on my coat and said goodbye to my folks. I shut the door outside and sat down on the step.

(this chapters really short but i havent had much time lately so...enjoy...i guess) It seemed like we were in the park for hours. I looked around and that old woman wasn’t there. I wonder when she left. I whispered to Jake ‘we should go someplace’. He agreed and we started walking around…holding hands. I looked at my watch…I only had about 2 more hours before Sarah’s car was going to be waiting outside my front door. I said to him ‘what are you doing today?’ Him- hanging out with you Me- but I’m going up to Sarah’s cabin Him- damn it. I wanted to be with you the whole day. Awwwwe…that was so cute. Right then I stopped him and pulled him into the door way of some old apartment so that he was facing me. We started making out like crazy.

I wasn’t going to run from him, I knew exactly what I meant. Him- Marilyn don’t go Me- (nothing) Him- You’re the only girl I ever…really loved. I thought we could be something I was going to say ‘you’re right, you THOUGHT we could be something but you fucked shit up.’ But I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I cared. I knew I loved him but I was just too…ashamed to let anyone know that…and I know that any other girl would be in his arms in a second if he was begging for her, but nobody knew how I felt Him- (eyes watering and on his knees) I know I look desperate but it’s because I am and I’m an idiot and a bastard, any name you want to throw at me. I just want you back in my arms He had his head in his hands and I didn’t know what to do. I looked around and I saw the old woman. She had been watching the whole time. I was able to catch the look in her eyes…I could tell she wanted me to go for him, the same thing I wanted. But I what I didn’t want was that heartbreak he gave me before. These thoughts made me feel like a little girl, not able to make up her over a Barbie or a dress; in other words I felt childish. I was crying. It wasn’t a sad cry, it was a ‘I’m all alone and nobodies helping me’; cry. By this time I knew we were going to get back together. I took his hands and pulled him up close to me and said ‘It’s ok…I forgive you’. He looked...the happiest I had ever seen him. I got down on my knees in front of him and kissed him. Then we just hugged. We were holding hands and our foreheads were together. Him- I promise, this will never happen again

I looked back over at Jake; he had his head down on the table Me- It’s fine. Him- Can we go outside? Me- Surrrree... We finished up our drinks, he took my hand and we walked out Neither of us said anything for about a block. When we were on the corner he stopped in front of me. He gave me a kiss…a long, slow, wonderful kiss, one that only HE was capable of. When he took his lips off mine I still had my eyes closed, I sighed. Him- I sorry Me- for what Him- …for lying to you Me- about? I got worried Him- … Me- about?? Him- it was a bunch of bullshit Me- what was? Come on!! Him- back in the café, I wasn’t drugged at all Me- (starred him dead in the face, the same place where I wanted to punch him) Him- I don’t know why the hell I did it and I don’t know why I lied about it, I just wanted you back Me- you know for one second there I believed you, and again you fucked shit up. You’re disgusting, why the HELL did you do it? Him- I don’t know…I guess it was just the moment Me- oh, ok. I understand then!! Shut the fuck up. God, I didn’t even want to talk to you today, you stupid little piece of shit, I hope you feel as bad as I do. Him- but- I turned around and started walking home. But I didn’t want to be there either…so I walked to the park and sat on the bench. I felt so alone and lost. I thought to myself… ’How could I be so stupid, ‘I was drugged’?? what the fuck was that bullshit? If Tati was there she would have seem it right away. I feel so dirty now too, how could I let him touch me? Why would that bastard kiss me?? Ahh…(sigh) I guess that’s just how things go…’ There was no body in the park besides myself and an old sweet looking lady and her tiny dog. I guess you could tell I was upset because when the lady walked past me she asked if I was ok and if there was anything she could do to help I said ‘no, I’m not ok’, so she sat down beside me and picked up her little dog. I looked up to people like her; she’d never seen me, but acted as though she’d know me forever. Her- spill it dear, you look like you’re ready to blow Me- my ex lied to me to try and get back with me b doing it, then like 10 seconds later he told me the truth, and expected everything to be ok. Her- well dear, men are assholes and that’s all you need to know Me- (laughing) wow, that’s great, I didn’t think I was going to be able to laugh at all today Her- anytime! now I better get going, I see an asshole coming our way right now Me- oh shit that’s him, what should I do? Her- that depends on how much you love him She began to walk away, and as she got further away, Jake came closer. I didn’t want to see him…I didn’t want to see his beautiful face…oh but I did…

We were there in less than 5 minutes. The way there was partially silent, we both didn’t want to say anything, well I did I was just thinking of something to say to him. When we walked in we both looked around. He was there already. He saved us a table by the window. Dear GOD was he sexy?? He could have any girl he wanted, so why does he want me? Jake- Hey guys, I already ordered 3 glasses of chai tea for us. Cuz I know it’s your favorite. He looked at me and smiled when he said this. ‘Come sit next to me Marilyn’ What a little retard…I sat down next to him (ha) being as desperate as I was. He put his arm around me. I looked the other way. Our chai tea was ready and Jake went up to get it. Carrie-Why aren’t you talking? Me- What’s there to talk about? Nothing, exactly Carrie-Well I don’t see you trying to start up a conversation… Me- Whatever…dumb ass We were laughing when he came back with the drinks, I think he thought we were talking about him. Oh well, I said ‘thank you’ and took a glass. Carrie- Hang on you guys, I’m going to use the bathroom. God was she an idiot or what? I knew that if she left he was going to try to do something…like talk. Ha, I was over reacting. There was only one girls bathroom so I had to stay, he looked at me and I pretended I couldn’t see him. He said my name and I looked over. Him- I really want you to be my girlfriend, you were like the best girl I ever had, and I was…it wasn’t my fault. (I laughed) Me- You’re really funny Him- I was drugged Me- What? By who? Him- Yea, Melyssa…the chick that was, you know… Me- Why didn’t you tell me? Him- You never listened. Me- Would you listen to you if you were me? Him- Well I guess not but- Me- Tell me what happened” Him- She brought me some beer with some shit in it. It was really strong and she was using me I would never hurt you and that’s the only time- Carrie came back and Jake stoped. Me- Go on, im going to tell her what you said anyways. Him- Alright, well that was the only time I ever touched another girl while I was with you. All of her friends think she’s a dike now for doing it. Carrie- Wait so what? Me-I’ll tell you later, but what did she put in your drink? Him- I don’t know some drug. Man...but this is what really pissed me off, one of Mellyssa’s friends said if you wouldn’t have came, she was going to have sex with me. There was a pause. Him- I got really scared when…when I thought I was never going to be able to talk to you again, you know after I was ‘ok’…or straight Holy shit man…my heart was beating really really fast… Carrie- I think I’m going to go home, I mean this is a conversation meant for just the two of you, I'm done with my drink, so I'll talk to you later babes? Me- Yea bye kiddo Him- See ya She walked out.

i was woken up in the morning by the dreaded light that was shinning through the spaces of my closed blinds. I decided to get up, because there was no way that I was going to be able to go back to sleep. Seeing as Sarah wouldn’t be at my house for another 5 hours I thought I would do something. My hair is now blonde with bits of pink, blue/purple and lime green. This was far from what it used to be, dark purple and black streaks. I changed into some black jeans and my pink Thursday shirt I wore the first time Jake and I kissed…AHHHH!! Why was I thinking of him? I put some more make-up on and then started to pack for the two nights I was spending at the cabin with Sarah. I got u p and called Carrie, my friend that lives across the street. She was the only other person under the age of 40 in my neighborhood besides my brother and sister. It was 11.00, she’d better be up…well I was going to call anyways so whatever. Ringggg…..rinnnnggg…. Carrie: ehhhhlllo…? Me: Carrie? It’s Marilyn Carrie: (yawn) ….yea? Me: want to go and get some coffee? Carrie: It’s a little early don’t you think? Me: Come on babe, for me! Before I leave? Carrie: You’re lucky I like you Me: Great Carrie: I’ll be over in more than 30 minutes Me: Sounds good What’s there to do for 30 minutes...? Well, 45, knowing that she’s going to sleep the extra 15. Hmm… I went on the computer. The only kidd on was my ex, Richy. He was kinda clingy and shallow…and still thinks we have a chance. I put up my away. While I was searching for random stuff on google (you know you do it too) someone IMed me…I thought it was Richy, but it was Jake. I opened it a second later… imaLAMEass: what’s up? watchmefallunder: …nothing imaLAMEass: want to hang out today? watchmefallunder: now? imaLAMEass: sure watchmefallunder: to do…? imaLAMEass: talk and stuff watchmefallunder: I don’t think that’s a good idea watchmefallunder: you always fuck shit up imaLAMEass: I'm sorry and there’s nothing else I can say watchmefallunder: then don’t say anything imaLAMEass: but I really want to work stuff out, I really miss you watchmefallunder: that’s nice. You obviously couldn’t have liked me enough to miss me seeing as you had your tongue down that other chicks throat imaLAMEass: there’s an explanation for that watchmefallunder: which would be? imaLAMEass: I want to talk in person watchmefallunder: fine. Met Carrie and me at FUEL café in 20 minutes? imaLAMEass: only for you watchmefallunder: got to go I signed off Wow, I was shaking Why would I agree to see him? It’s just going to make things worse I’m such an idiot. I walked over to Carries place and she was eating some cereal. She said in a tired voice ‘hey, you looked totally bummed out’ I was going to say something like ‘I am always bummed out’ but I didn’t Me-Jakes meeting us at FUEL Carrie- oh really?!? I love drama Me- no you don’t. liar… Carrie- when there’s nothing else to do then I do love it…but whatever you say kid When she was finished, she left a note for her parents and we headed on our way.

It was Jake, my ex-boyfriend since the past 4 months. We hadn’t talked on the phone because of our break-up. He cheated on me with a girl from his school. Oh god...he is so sexy and the best kisser/make-outer I've ever kissed/made-out with. He always told me he loved me...Anyways. I caught him making out with this chick at a party I told him I wasn’t going to. I slapped him. And he knew I would, and he didn’t do anything, because he knew what he did was some dumb shit. Maybe half an hour later, he came up to me with a drink to try and apologize. I took the drink, and stood up. Then I splashed it on his pants. It was great I laughed when I went to the bathroom to be by myself and think. I laughed at how stupid he was gonna feel. And then I started to cry…I felt alone and betrayed. I hate him. Here’s our phone conversation Him- Hi Marilyn Me- Uh…hi Him- What’s up? I couldn’t believe it. He thinks just because he called me everything will be fine…after I walked in on him filling up on another girl. HELL NO. Me- Nothing Him- I didn’t mean to hurt you Me- Well you did Him- I’m sorry Me- I don’t wanna talk about it Him- I still love you I was in shock…what did he just say…? Me- How the fuck can you say that to me? You do know that when you say those words you’re supposed to mean it Him- I’ve always meant it Me- Oh so now making out with anyone behind your girlfriends back means you love her?? I hung up. I was smiling. ‘I hope he feels as bad as I do’ I thought to myself. I sat there…and started to cry. ._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._. Sarah called the next day to invite me to a party at her house on Saturday (today was Thursday) while her parents were out. And I knew it was gonna be awesome because her brothers 19 and has connections. I knew getting drunk and high would make me feel better…or a least take me away from reality.

When I got to school I saw Matt with his slutty junior girlfriend. See, matt’s a freshman, and just wants to look good. He thinks he's big shit because he's hot. He was caught looking at his refection in a TV...it’s so sad. He smiled at me and I just starred at him. I’ve heard his girlfriend just pick some cutie freshmen to pig out on all year, what a bitch. Oh well. The day went by so fucking slow. I did nothing all day. My best friend Mike (and by best friend I mean the bastard I wanna kill) came up to me today and said some bullshit about me smoking a pound of weed in less then a day and how I'm so pathetic. All I said was 'you might wanna keep your mouth shut about tati's shit. You know she's pissed at you right?' HA! That bastard just looked at me like I was out of my mind. He sat down. I felt good. Tati's my closest friend. I talk to her everyday. And see her almost every week. She and I are freaks. And we'll never be freaks with out each other. About a week ago at a local band concert, she made out with one of my friends Josh. (Josh is this big flirt who I think only does it so he'll never be single) he’s really cute...he has long black hair and has his eye brow pierced. But I'd never do anything with him. He’s too close of a friend. Anyways mike was there with tati's ex Chris. When tati got back that night from the show, mike called her to tell her how disappointed she was in her because he thinks she only did it to get Chris jealous. She just said 'fuck you' and hung up At lunch I walked outside across the street to meet up with some of my friends to have a cigg and talk. My parents have no idea... When I got home I called her and told her what I said to mike at school and she just laughed. She knew how pissed he was gonna be. Mike and I both hate each other. There was someone on the other line 'Hey Tati, ill call you later. Bye babe' She said 'Bye' and i answered the other line. I couldn't believe it was him...