Listening to: taking back sunday (oh yea! i saw them live! woot woot)
I looked back over at Jake; he had his head down on the table
Me- It’s fine.
Him- Can we go outside?
Me- Surrrree...
We finished up our drinks, he took my hand and we walked out
Neither of us said anything for about a block. When we were on the corner he stopped in front of me. He gave me a kiss…a long, slow, wonderful kiss, one that only HE was capable of. When he took his lips off mine I still had my eyes closed, I sighed.
Him- I sorry
Me- for what
Him- …for lying to you
Me- about?
I got worried
Him- …
Me- about??
Him- it was a bunch of bullshit
Me- what was? Come on!!
Him- back in the café, I wasn’t drugged at all
Me- (starred him dead in the face, the same place where I wanted to punch him)
Him- I don’t know why the hell I did it and I don’t know why I lied about it, I just wanted you back
Me- you know for one second there I believed you, and again you fucked shit up. You’re disgusting, why the HELL did you do it?
Him- I don’t know…I guess it was just the moment
Me- oh, ok. I understand then!! Shut the fuck up. God, I didn’t even want to talk to you today, you stupid little piece of shit, I hope you feel as bad as I do.
Him- but-
I turned around and started walking home. But I didn’t want to be there either…so I walked to the park and sat on the bench. I felt so alone and lost. I thought to myself… ’How could I be so stupid, ‘I was drugged’?? what the fuck was that bullshit? If Tati was there she would have seem it right away. I feel so dirty now too, how could I let him touch me? Why would that bastard kiss me?? Ahh…(sigh) I guess that’s just how things go…’
There was no body in the park besides myself and an old sweet looking lady and her tiny dog. I guess you could tell I was upset because when the lady walked past me she asked if I was ok and if there was anything she could do to help I said ‘no, I’m not ok’, so she sat down beside me and picked up her little dog. I looked up to people like her; she’d never seen me, but acted as though she’d know me forever.
Her- spill it dear, you look like you’re ready to blow
Me- my ex lied to me to try and get back with me b doing it, then like 10 seconds later he told me the truth, and expected everything to be ok.
Her- well dear, men are assholes and that’s all you need to know
Me- (laughing) wow, that’s great, I didn’t think I was going to be able to laugh at all today
Her- anytime! now I better get going, I see an asshole coming our way right now
Me- oh shit that’s him, what should I do?
Her- that depends on how much you love him
She began to walk away, and as she got further away, Jake came closer. I didn’t want to see him…I didn’t want to see his beautiful face…oh but I did…
you?
Much love
amanda
I have like 400 something on one of da entries.
no it's not me.
amanda
Amikra
Love, Casey