Sarah pulled her arm away and said ‘what do you think?’ Then we just sat there for a while. How could she do that? And why? I felt so bad…and not just because she tried to take her life (more than once…which was obvious) and didn’t tell me about it, but because I make fun of cutters. I say that they only do it for attention and that they don’t really want to die, because if they did, they’d be dead by now. But this is what really made me feel bad, I’ve told her how I felt about cutters so many times…she never defended them in anyway. Me- Why didn’t you ever say anything? Sarah- Because… Me- Please...Sarah let me try to help Sarah- There’s nothing you can do Me- Well then at least tell me so I know There was a silence Sarah- I never said anything because I know how you feel about…about people like me My heart sank…and I became really…I don’t know what I was feeling right then but there was a lot going on in my mind. Me- You could have just told me to shut up…or tried to say something about it She looked up at me and smiled…but I could see tears forming over her eyes. She blinked and one rolled down her face. She took the back of her hand and wiped it away; I saw the cuts once more. They were fresh and deep…they looked so hurtful. Sarah- What could you do about it? Me- Nothing; but I’d try to talk to you about it so you don’t… Sarah- Kill myself? Me- Yea… Sarah- I don’t want to die…I just think that hurting my self on the outside will take my mind off the pain on the inside. Me- Why? She was starring at the wall…and tears falling into her lap, until she looked over at me Sarah- You remember Charlie? Me- Yea Sarah- and do you remember how I just stopped talking about him? Me- Yes? Sarah- It’s because…he kind of raped me Me- Kind of? Sarah- Yes…kind of, because I didn’t want to in the first place, but then I finally agreed. And this didn’t get me mad at all because he’s the best guy I ever dated. Me- Then what happened? Sarah- We just kept having sex…until one day we were in his car and he didn’t have a condom…but we too…’into everything’ to stop. A few weeks later I was late…and I didn’t need a test to tell me I was going to have a child. She wasn’t looking at me…she was just talking. Not one emotion in her eyes…probably because they were all covered up by tears. Sarah- I couldn’t even cry when I found out…because I was so fucking confused. And since Charlie and I had a close friend ship, I told him. He asked me what I was going to do and he thought it would be fine- Me- Wait do what? Sarah- I told him I was going to punch myself…in the stomach She looked at her belly Sarah- And it said he wasn’t ready to be a daddy but he would take care of it if I decided to keep it. That night I beat myself up as bad as I could…I almost threw up, then I got my period. Me- Well then why are you depressed? It sounds like everything turned out fine Sarah- ha…well you haven’t heard the best part.