here i am again, another fucking friday night alone, and just wishing 4 benji to b on. he promised me when i talked to him on sunday, that he definately was gonna b on today, but as usual he's not!! and oh shit, i hate it so bad, cuz i depend of benji and its not good for me to b this obssed about someone. I NEED HIM!!!! it just that simple, and i love him, i cant stop thinking of him or anything, and it makes me feel like shit when i dont have him. yea i hate myself for it, and at this point i really wanna cut, i really wanna do it, but i think of benji and try to get that idea out of my mind. but the lack of him doesnt seem to help. so fuck everybody, cuz i dont want nobody to talk to, just him!!! i wanna cry, cut, oh my likfe is shit, i hate it....

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yea i cut, i cut, i hate it, well i didnt cut much, just like 4 cuts on my lap, but now i don t really know how i feel. sorry benji, thats all i can say..... now my head hurts like shit... sorry benji, i still love u...