drunk aza mother fucker. well, not reALlly, i can still thimk. and i can still type, at least to my knowledge i can. wow isn't it surreal? time passes by like a turtle: slowly but surely. i'm sure i wAas stuck in this s[ace of my head when i was away from home. i don't think i'll ever call anything else but wellngton my home. there are so many memories lived out here, yet so many lost. it could almost make me cry. things have4n't changed much for me at all. infact, it's only led memories to dwell on. it feels like forever. but look hwof fast i've grown up. people don't even care these4 days. i'm getting myself out of the boxes. again. it';s so hard. you don't understand, stop lying. nothing is ever as simple as it may seem. protection is the hardest thing. and love. can i protect who i love? i wish. however, i've managed otherwise. i don't know why. i don't know how. i guess it was the drugs. but it can't've been. i'm not that stupid. or am i? prolly. holy shit. there are a lot opf entries here./ much more than i'd've ever expected. look. they're all label;l;ed. look how many there are. it's amazing. keep dreaming, like we live in hope. i had a dream last night. no-one's home, and i feel rather peaceful. i don't think i'll ever live past my due date. growinhg up i thought i would. 12-onwards, i've had hope, lost, and lost again. things are very simple. i've lost, but i've won. i've had the interesting life everyone wants, but would've hated to have. i wish i could fake things better. i've lasted a while without scribe. i think i should. speaking of which, this makes me think of patrick. i'll add more shortly.