Rountinely, i've lost this battle again. Things happen consequently faster, and before long, control is lost to fate. i could read back on previous entries, but nothing tells of me being "happy". Where did it go? i have to stop asking myself, i need to move on, but something tells me i wont be able to. Something in my uterus. i'm tired, and sick, and so, so sick of this. Schizophrenic people and bipolar people and drugs and ADHD people and drugs, and more drugs and sex and more sex and alcohol and lies, and failled attempts, swept under the carpet, of hope and positive affirmations, and life. Love. Love There was a time and a place and a moment and those have been whissked away from under me. Now i can't believe there even was that time and place and moment. Was it a lie? A question everyone asks, and noone gets ansswers for. GRRRRR. ((170708-1544))