love is a sickness that when it ends apart of you dies. i saw that somewhere it makes sense. today was a late start day. i slept in till 8:00 and i couldnt get back to sleep so i just woke up and on my t.v Donnie Darko was on so i watched that for a while.. i love that movie. then i got ready for school. nothing exiting happened the day went by fast. i have community service tonight at 5:00 im pissed off about that cuz i fucking hate community service its pointless and its not teaching me a lesson if thats what its suppost to do. im not gonna change i dont know why they think i will by making me do retarded things lyke community service. i only have 6 more hours then im done with all 50 hours =) my mom threatened to make me do volenteer community service over the summer but trust me thats not gonna happen. she doesnt get me. im not the same person that i use to be..i wish i could go back to knowing nothing at all and believing in everything but its never gonna be the same...i have lots on my mind and so much more to say... but i just cant. ...i feel dead right now.. ...i guess apart of me died... trapped inside a mind thats not mine i can not see why i stay theres nothing left im just a wondering ghost to the world i no longer want to walk upon this earth. take the knife and drain the blood,the soul, the life that i no longer have. mistake after mistake i didnt realize what i was becoming- now its too late. it was all for you, love isnt a gift it is a deadly curse. -me do you still understand the words that i pour from my soul. do they mean anything to you anymore... do i mean anything to you anymore...?