SO... i received an email from Anthony. I have to say that for him to admit and say the things that he did took guts... and i am very greatful for that email. It still hurt because for some reason lately he is still in my dreams - a lot and i dont know why that is. i took a couple of trips through memory lane during break as well which... i dunno... i guess bothered me. I know he and i did not end on good terms but he and i had a lot of laughs together and he taught me a lot. i didnt expect the email at all. i dont know if that was why when i read it i teared up... but i know that ins some wyas there has been a weight lifted from my shoulder. ill always wonder what happened to him - whether he was happy in what he was doing. how jasmine were doing with i am sure what will be many boys chasing after her... hopefully she'll pick the right ones. so... i should be studying for a psych exam but ... this email i received totally blew me away and i cant think for anything but i feel that in my entries i did him wrong... many of which were typed out of anger but ... he was the bigger person and i am willing to admit that. he has taught me many things and i feel that since he and i broke up... i am more for myself than i ever have been - but than he always told me not to let people push me around... unfortunately i suppose in a way it started with him. thank you anthony if you read this for the email. ill never forget you and somehow you have opened my eyes a little to our relationship.... but i think between the both of us there are many mixed feelings about that... which i guess is ok... i just dont want there to be a grudge held. p.s. matt and i are still together