..I had so many things to tell you and now I'll never get the chance.. I wanted to tell you that I'll always be here, wanted to say I hate that you never visit. I wanted to scream that you should still be right here and I wanted to whisper that it was never your fault. I'd apologise oh god i'm sorry and tell you I never blamed you, you did all you could. I wanted to hold you and tell you that it would be okay, even if it never seemed that it would. It never will now. I had so many things to tell you. I blew the chance. ..I love you.. Jillian