I think this time I´ve really taken things too far. It is a little weird how it seems to have developped a life of its own. It has become like an appointment, and knowing it will be there gets me through the day. And I really, really enjoy it, I´m all the better for it, I´m not sure how I would cope without. Probably not at all. I guess it won´t last forever, but right now it´s working extremely well, so why stop. It is not only taking my mind off things, it actually makes me damn happy. I don´t think that´s a good sign. Oh, well, I better not tell anyone then.