well i had a good nite last nite went to see scary movie 3 last nite was quite funny actually. surprisingly. well i thought i was doin quite well wi me moods and not cuttin for a day or so. its not goin too well today. its been one of them days when i really couldnt cope and just wanted it all to end. i cut pretty bad today twice on me arm my wrist and my leg. my leg is so sore now really stinging but it serves me right for being stupid. ive not stoppped crying all day today i guess the tears arent gonna stop now. its just gettin too much now and all i want it for it all to stop and go away. i look at myself and all i see is hate i look at me scars and cuts and im disgusted by what i see and it just makes me think what a freak i am and that ill never get anyone its just gettin to the point now where i cant fight anymore and feel like givin up. but then again im too much of a coward to do it and i wouldnt even think about it i would just do it. well ive been here about an hour tryin to write this i thought i was gettin knack of this diary business