ARGH so after a couple days of panic tht SitD had died for good i come back to find that apparently my new username no longer exists, tho i can see the diary! and for some reason my 62nd entry has decided to jump up to the top :s wtf! this is so frustrating cos i have so much to tlk about! dont wana start a whole new one tho, might have to go back to the old school and make a diary in MS word! or even pen and paper lol

this used to be a private entry but it has just dissapeared

Went out last night and rach was making a complete fanny of herself being very overly drunk and throwing herself at the guys and just generally trying way too hard to be liked, i really feel sorry for her but then i also feel like why should i be the one to look after her when she has fucked me over so much and every time i decide its water under the brige and to let it go she just does something else. last night she tried to tell me that i got the wrong end of the stick thinking that she was living with those girls cos she had just gone along to the flat viewing for the fun of it which is bollox otherwise she wouldnt have text and called me desperately looking for louis' phone number so she cud ask his landlord about it and gone back t see it on her own several times, and she wudnt be livng there next year. anyway its her problem i think my feel rly smell its not nice :( i am quite looking forward to next year i hope sean is as decent as he seems! charles is a nice boy i think, bit of a weirdo but nice enough. i hope kathyryn magically becomes more tidy too! i am looking forward to decorating my room not too sure what i want to do with it tho, too much effort to pain the whole high ceilinged thing just to have to re paint it when i leave but then i might just stay there forever. hmmm. k thats me i think x

Hmm i have been downloading some music and was thinking i might get an mp3 player but then i have like 12 mb of music so if i wanted it all on then i wud need a rly good (aka expensive) one which is a bit gay. I wana play guitar hero but my bro is using his tv :( the genuis child got his exam results today 3 As and 2 Bs im so impressed anyway thts me for today i think x

So I have decided to start writing in here again, dont really know why, give me something else to do while im procrastinating, have to go to work in 2 hours and am still in my nightgown and havent had propper food yet. I don't know how i feel about being at home over summer, its good to see the girls, well Jo mostly cos the rest are gay at keeping in touch but i dont really like living at home that much its kinda boring and i miss glasgow and being able to do my own thing in my own house. also is gay not seeing loui everyday :( but i guess thats just me being a big baby. I am quite enjoying working up the hill, its fun doing nights and the pay is pretty good just a pain that its over the weekends when everyone else is out having fun. Hmm dont really know what else i have to say, not much really. that is another thing about being at home its pretty much stress free, no rent, no bills, no lectures, no deadlines, no flatmates...haha tho i am quite looking forward to next semester what with the lack of chemistry and actually studying something that interests me. kinda worried it will be too hard tho and i am gonna b really poor :( tho i will be speding less money on weed hopefully. maybe i will get a job... think its time for some food k bye x

Im gonna re take the survey from my 5th entry when i was 15 (jeez it really has been ages) and see whats changed STUFF What did you dream last night?: Being at a festival with Louis, he wanted to buy some legal highs but they had t be taking intravenously and i was not happy, got shot at by a guy with a rifle for some reason and was at the funeral of mikey from big brother. weird as usual. Where did you sleep last night?: Bed in the spare room, am home for the summer and my old room is now a jewelery making studio. What does your comforter/blanket look like?: My one in glasgow is blue/turquise with flowery type paterns. Don't you think the media stretches things?: Yes Do you have a lot of friends?: yes Do you feel comfortable around them at all times?: erm depends Do you love your mother?: yes Do you love your father?: yes Are you racist?: no QUESTIONS Are you a vegitarian?: no What is the best way to start a conversation? (after saying hey what's up): Talk about stuff u have in common Are you a virgin?: no Why or why not?: cos i loves my man and want his babies hehe How old are you?: 20 What do you do if a conversation is going nowhere with someone you like?: try harder or re-evaluate attraction What are your parent's jobs?: Administrator/Electrician What kind of car do you/your parent(s) drive?:Ford (different one from last time) Rock or hip-hop?: Both Metal or punk?: metal Reggae or Rap?: Reggae How much make up do you wear?: mascara pretty much everyday (after eyelash curlers!!) Describe your boxers/underwear for today: im in my pj's still (haha no change there, wearing my dressing gown n not much else) Do you think you are ugly?: no What color eyes do you have?: blue/green Where do you live?: scotland What color and texture is your hair?: straight ontop, curly underneath,multicoloured:black,brown,light brown, dark blonde,chesnut,aubuarn,light blonde(natural) ((i have weird hair)) Why are you taking this survey?:bcuz im bored Where is your computer?:in the kitchenish room on the table Do you watch porn?: no really Would you ever get plastic surgery?:no Do you listen to Boy Hits Car?: still what.. YES OR NO TO AFI: yes Metallica: yes Courtney Love: hmm yeah i guess Good Charlotte:sometimes Cheese: yes Meat: yes Fur clothes: no not really Nine inch nails: yeah i guess MTV: yeah sometimes Fuse TV: no idea MTV2: hmmm not really Saxophones: only in ska music College: yes Dave Chappelle: maybe Gay Marriages: i guess War: no Marylin Manson: yeah Cell Phones: yes stud belts: yes!!! Online friends/relationships: not relationships AOL: yes STUFF, QUESTIONS Do you own a pair of converse, Vans, or any other skate shoes?: Vans,Globes,DCs, Duffs and about 6 pairs o cons What is your favorite decade?: 60's (wish i was a 60s kid) What is the ugliest fashion to ever come out?: loads recently, high waisted trews (dont suit many people) leggings (again make most ppls legs look like sausages)especially when wearing shorts on top. UGG BOOTS!!! I could go on What is the coolest fashion to ever come out?: erm i like that there isnt really one "fashion" these days like people are more likely to try and be unique and folloew their own style (except neds/goths/emo etc but they dont rly count) How much money do you have right now?: in overdraft about £800 What song are you listening to?: Aeautiful life - 30 seconds to mars What song do you want to be listening to?: anything really not really liking 30 seconds, i like the girl by city&colour What are you doing/what will you do today?:work at evening dining up the mountain ater on, time wasting online right now. How often do you go to the movies?: once ever couple o months How often do you get drunk?: not very, have a couple of drinks quite often tho Do you smoke weed?: occasionally, more than i used to but trying to cut down How often do you smoke it?: bout 1nce or less a month Do you smoke cigarettes?: no What do your parents think of this?: dont mind too much i dont think What class do you do the worst in school?: hmmm.... Physics (so THAT is why i failed PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY) Do you like sushi?: not the stuff i have had so far, if there is any without rice or seaweed then probs will like it. Do you like chinese food?: yes Chicken or beef?: beef Would you wear bows or ribbons in your hair, not as a joke?: yea looks a bit silly tho, too much hair

Hmm so im waiting for my wireless router to be delivered today cos they came yest and no1 was in and i cant be bothered to go fetch it from some depot miles away. anyway was plannig on not going to lectures today to ensure recieving the thing but then i remembered tht i have a tutorial at 10, so i got up (at 9am!) and went only to realise after waing alf a hour that it is actually next week. not v happy bout that. im also irritated cos of the state of my flat, seems to me like im the only one who does any sort of cleaning or cares about hygene (washing dishes with cold water anyone? ugh) but i have gone on strike so the dishes etc are building up and nobody seems to notice except me. ARRRGGH oh well i should really do some studying since i never went to lectures

Woop, in 4 hours i will have no school work to do for the next 3 months about :D woop Dont think i did too well in my other 2 exams but this one shud be ok, its english language blergh but have had a week to learn it all and i feel like i know it. i shud b looking over it just now but to be honest i cant be bothered. thats so bad int it. havent seen loui for 4 days :( he is t home working, how responsible of him. gets back tomoro tho :D going out to the art school tonite dont know if i can b bothered.xxx

I had a horrible dream last night that louis cheated on me and i just didnt know what to do, i mena it was obvious that i cudnt stay with him and i really didnt wanna leave him. my mom suggested we drown ourselves together, charming. the most frustrating part was that i tried to hit him in the face a load of time cos i was so angry but it just wouldnt work. thats when i realised i was dreaming and woke up to make it all go away cos i cn never hit peole in my dreams. drives me insane. other than that...well finally have found a flat for nex year hopefully. the girl said she was holding the flat for us but needed to talk to her flatmates but i havent heard from her yet :( its such a nice flat, no lounge but its still nice the rooms are huge too :) its a really nice day again, not v hot tho :( but i migh not revise today and just go li about in the sun. that is so bad, i might make some notes then go read them in the sun, thats more responsible :) cant be botheres tying anymore cant really remember if i have anything interesting to say xx

Well i have done 6 loads of washing today, tidied my room and cleaned the kitchen! for that i think i deserve a day off from lectures. i took the day off yesterday with the aim of sorting my life out but all i managed to do was build this little manny out of plasticine and bud stalks. i need to start revising really badly exams in like 3 weeks!!!!! and chem test on fri ooh nooooo aw well im done typing now got more clothes to sort out just thought the momentous occasion of 6 loads of washing shud b remembered xx

I have been waking up so early cos of going to sleep with my curtains open and the sun rising really early. its not bad tho it means i can get stuff done but i feel pretty blah just now. its quite overcast today bit of a disapointment after our past few days. was nice yesterday but pretty windy :( was playing basketall with the guys esterday it was pretty fun een tho they are so tall that when im ryna shoot a hoop and hey stand rite infront of me its pretty much impossible. i still got some tho. im deff planning on joining the netball team next year but i thinki have fucked my hands and knee from skating so long ago :( myhands weer really sore yesterday stupid doctor wouldnt believe my thumb was broken soo long ago but "slightly sprained" thumbs dont still hurt 4 years later do they??? Mayb if i start taking cod liver oil ... ugh I was having some v strange dreams las night, usually my dreams are realistic but these have been pretty surreal. cant remember much but keep thinking of things then realising i was in a dream Its Cairsti's birthday today and she is planning on a BBQ hen out to buff club, i just bought a rockness ticket tho so im pretty much skint (£56 to last me till i get a job in summer) so duno bout that. dont really know what im meant to be writing bout in here its been so long. I miss Loui.. haha theres a new one...not really. have only seen him for about an hour this week if u dont count letures (i know its only tuesday but i never saw him on sunday eiher at all) im such a loser i used to only see him once a week and i survived i duno what my prob is now. im pretty hungry so sick of my food tho its either all bran, oats or toast EVERY MORNING argh i want oood cheap food that i dont av to cook for myself (wishful thinking i know) right im gonna go shower i didnt get to rinse my conditioner propperly yesterday cos the water went cold, earlier i get up more likely it is that i will get a decent shower :) byeeeex

so the first day of lecures is over i was prety painless to be honest i shudreally just go to the things. prent £50 on groceres today and have 40 quid a week to last me 6 weeks so opefully i will be able to not buy anymore groceries for a while. pretty skint. dont really feel like revising but i really shud, might look at the biology that i missed last term but prob not x

got nothing better to do x: name = Jaiden :x: piercings = Ears, tongue :x: tattoos = none yet :x: height= 5'7 :x: shoe size = 7 :x: hair color = Stupid at the moment :x: siblings = 2 Half bros and a half sis LAST... :x: movie you rented = A scanner darkly, never watched it all was too tired :x: movie you bought = none :x: song you listened to = hmm i cant remember, erm 2pac - thugs mansion i think :x: song that was stuck in your head = as above :x: cd you bought = uuum bert janch for my mom for mothers day, was only a pound hehe :x: cd you listened to = reggae hits i think :x: person you've called = Louis :x: person that's called you = kenneth from the Razorlight concert :x: tv show you've watched = dont really watch tv, uum the cricket world cup probs :x: person you were thinking of = the girls and indian tonite DO... :x: you have a crush on someone = yeah :D :x: you wish you could live somewhere else = sort of, the highlands are beautiful when its sunny but i wish it was warmer, glasgow is good but too wet! :x: you think about suicide = No :x: you believe in online dating = Not for me :x: others find you attractive = I think so :x: you want more piercings = hmmm maybe i dont think so tho :x: you like cleaning = yeah its quite theraputic :x: you like roller coasters = yeah most of them :x: you write in cursive or print = print FOR OR AGAINST... :x: long distance relationships = against, too painful :x: using someone = Against, its wrong but prob have done it :x: suicide = depends on the situation i think if ur suffering physically and there is no hope then maybe :x: killing people = Against :x: teenage smoking = Against, its disgusting and it makes me spew :x: driving drunk = Against :x: gay/lesbian relationships = I dont think its right but im not gonna impose my judgement on anyone :x: soap operas = Against but they are so damn addictive HAVE YOU... :x: ever cried over a girl= Yes :x: ever cried over a boy = Yes :x: ever lied to someone = Yes :x: ever been in a fist fight = No but i want to how bad is that :x: ever been arrested = almost WHAT... :x: shampoo do you use = depends, last one i used was tresseme :x: shoes do you wear = Depends again, last wore pretty black heels, mostly barefoot and have loads of converse :x: are you scared of = ghosts, the dark, snakes, being alone NUMBER... :x: of times I have been in love?= once i think, maybe twice :x: of times I have had my heart broken? = lots of littel breaks :x: of hearts I have broken? = um more than i should have :x: of girls I have kissed? = 1 :x: of boys I have kissed? = 10 i think :x: of girls I've slept with? = None :x: of boys I've slept with? = 1 :x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = 2 :x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?= umm i dont know, mabye a few :x: of scars on my body? = 3 real ones, loads of little ones :x: of things in my past that I regret? = a few not loads tho DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... :x: pretty not really :x: funny um to laugh at yeah :x: hott hmm maybe if i dress sexy hehe :x: friendly yeah most of the time :x: amusing again to laugh at :x: ugly no :x: loveable – Not really :x: caring um i think so :x: sweet can be :x: dorky haha hell yes favorite: 5 letter word: 5 letter?? erm... LOUIS, YES!!! :D actor/actress: umm ireally dont know Candy: chocolate i think but i duno Cartoon: simpsons, futurama, american dad, prob family guy tho i havent seen much of it Cereal: coco pops hehe Chewing gum: don really like it Color(s): green and purple atm Color nail polish: clear or pale Day of week: Saturday Least fave day: Monday Flower: not too sure i like them all i think Jello flavour: hmm lemon i think Jewelry : necklace tht loui gave me :) Special skills/talents: none :( im ok at most stuff not v good at anything Summer/Winter: Summer!! Trampolines or swimming pools: pool i think || Person who last.. || Slept in your bed: emm prob louis Saw you cry: louis Made you cry: rebecca You went to the movies with: kirsty reb and natasha Yelled at you: my dad Sent you an email: a girl about a flat || Have you ever.. || Said "I love you" and meant it?: Yes Gone out in public in your pyjamas: Yes Kept a secret from everyone: Yes Cried during a movie: Yes Ever at anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: nope Planned your week based on the TV Guide: No Been on stage: Yes Been to New York: nope Been to California: No Hawaii: No China: No Canada: No Europe: yup UK der Asia: No South America: No Australia: No ... wat bout africa!!! Wished you were the opposite sex: yeah at least once a month hehe What time is it now?: 14.51 Apples or bananas?: Apples Blue or red?: Red Walmart or target?: Erm duno Spring or Fall?: spring What are you gonna do after you finish this?: duno, carry on being bored What was the last meal you ate?: hotdog for breakfast High school or college?: High School Are you bored?: why do u think im doing this? Last noise you heard?: Deep Forest, its my message alert tone Last smell you sniffed?: fart hehe Last time you went out of state/province?: aaages ago, like a year plus!

For a change i am the only person in the house, its so sttressful living with 6 other people!! going back to glasgow on sunday i cant wait to be in a quiet house, and see my man :) my mom put "highlights" in my hair yesterday they look soooo bad i spent about 3 hours rying to dye them into a semi normal colour, didnt work v well but they are lookin slightly better today thakfully, also i can hide them when i tie my hair up which is good. rebecca said that claire and emily have found a really nice flat but they need another person so hopefully i can live with them, dont know them v well but they both seem nice so that wud b cool :D anyway so im feeling much better about my life at the moment. went to the vault with clara last nite and spent the entire time talking to chris so that she cud talk so some old guy ugh and i saw kirsty who works up the hill with a short fat ugly man, pooooor girl!!not much else to say, adios xx

Still dont have anywhere to live but its been lovely and sunny, thnk i might have got a tan today!! :D woop dont really have anything else to say, oh me and clara are thinkin about going on an adventure to wales in teh summer ehhe i cant wait xx

Fuck sake, i really hope sitd gets better soon i have missed it, i have decided im gonna start writing in here more cos i cant remember the past year as well as i can with the sit d to help me. i have had a shit day i miss my man and i have nobody to live with next year :( oh well things can only get better

im so tired but theres a party at my house so i cant go sleep -edit- i dont even remember writing that!

whywhywhy wont he answer his fone???argh!!! -edit- IDIOT!!

argh stupid lambrini and stella makes me tired in the morning so does working 8 hours a day, im not ready for this grownup stuff i tell u! get to snuggle up wi my man tonite n go to sleep and not have to get up yaye

I ♥ my Knight in shiny red armour