well i just got off the phone with matt....i miss him so much icant even explain the second we hung up i started bawling....i cant stand this anymore i cant take not being able to just call him and hear him say he loves me and cant stand not being able to see him or go to rockys with its just so hard to know that he will be in hawaii and at any momoent he could cheat on me i trust him though i really do but i cant compare to a friggin hawaiian girl hopefully when he said he would never be able to cheat on me, he meant it.....but if he did then so be it..i donmt want us to break up then him come back and not want anything to do with me i love him with all my heart...i am not gana be able to be with any one else or cheat on matt because when ever i go in to hug or kiss them i would see matts face and start crying....i cant, i wouldnt EVER cheat on him there is not way in hell i could ever hurt him....i am just gana suck it up and go with it....i want to be with him, and only him, and if i have to wait a year before i see him and risk him cheating on me then i will...that is how much i truly love him...and matt if you are reading this, i really do love you and i hope you love me too