Ok I'm worried cause well my grandmal's kinneys are only running at only 10 % plus she has diabets. She will start dialisis soon. I'm worried cause well she is my grandmal and she has alwas been there for me. Plus ever sense my mom died she has been there even more. She has never tried to fill in for my mom but, in a way she has. But, it's that she means soo much more to me than a normal grandmal would. Than in fact more my other grandmal who is my mom's mom. Don't get me wrong I love my other grandmal but, it's not the same. I figure I could face this head on ...or I could be in denial. I choose to face it head on. I will put on what counts as a happy face towards my grandmal but, inside I'm totaly scared. I'v decied that if she does die soon like I fear. I'd rather spend that time having fun with her and enjoying her company cause I know my grandmal and I know that's what she will want to do. Well I have got to stop cause my eyes are starting to water...damn allergies.