well, well well well indeed. I have been rather moody lately and i cant pretend it has been b/c of anything worthwhile either. I'v decided that its a combination of the death of my bird, being home alone for two weeks, working 45hours a week and general crankiness. I have been worrying about trivial things - like not getting replies to txt messages and other pathetic things, but i am rather pathetic anyway so why expect anything better? More troublesome in my mind though are certain people (supposedly friends) acting in a manner that only aggravates me - such as ignoring me, or talking over me. I'm fairly confident its not deliberate, but its just as demeaning and unpleasant. I am trying to make things better. For now everthing has the potential for getting better, my family returns this weekend sometime so at last i will have some company when i am at home instead of prowling dark hallways and brooding over aforementioned non-issues. I especially miss my brothers - which is not something i would usually admit, but you can't just grow up with two siblings and not miss them when they're not around (as revolting as they are). The house feels so empty and unlived in when noone else is around, much more so at night thanks to my overactive imagination. I'v basically just splurged out all my immediate troubles and contemplations, which are very difficult for me to put into words especially considering as they're still with me. I don't know who will read this and i don't really care, I'm sick of living inside my head! edit On a tangent im considering taking up the violin again... i played for a bit at primary school and im re-interested in it again. SO much to do so very little time I know its a wonderful world... but i cant see it right now....