I just don't know what to say anymore. It's just incredible how much something could take shape in the matter of just a few days. He's back...I CANNOT believe it but he's back. He has come back for her, and for her only. No I'm not upset, but there's something that just gets me that I can't stop thinking about those 2. I mean like, it's not jealousy, that is for sure...or is it? OMG, what's wrong with me??? I can't be jealous. Why would I be jealous of what they have? I mean like, I don't want to be in a relationship where all that happens that I would spend the night with a dude that I "love" and we talk, "play" around and then eventually end up having sex everytime he's sneaks through my window at night. No, that is most definately not what I want. So it's not jealousy. Maybe that's what's getting to me. I mean, the matter that they're having sex. They're too young. They have no idea what they're doing. No, it's not "making love", to them it's something childish that they do for the pleasure and they call it "funking" instead. What the hell...? If they call it a name like that, then that pretty much proves my point of them being too young. They ARE NOT supposed to be doing that! Do they not understand that?!? I don't know about him, I have spoken to him for the first time last and he said absolutely nothing...literally. I mean, I don't know if he has a religion or anything. But as for her, she's Christian, and we have some talks about how her religion and mine and we compare and contrast. But look at her, she's sinning...the fact that they're having sex is a mortal sin and she doesn't realize that even if I keep telling her. I fear for her. She wants me to come over to meet the guy. I actually wouldn't mind that so I could know what kind of guy he is and so I could at least know that he could take care of her in any other way other than just sexually. But then again, there's the fact that he won't talk to me because apparently he's too shy. Hah, great, another one like her. Haha, I am not shunning upon it, just frowning upon it. I wish they were both a bit more open. It would actually help me a lot. Distance and the attitude towards her from my parents are a problem. No car, no support to get there. These are one of the times when I feel stupid for not taking driver's ed in freshman year...I coulda been driving by now. I'm suffering too much from such a silly thing. But then again, premarital sex, espescially if it's dealing with kids under 18, is NOT silly. This could be an excellent G.A.G topic. But G.A.G is in the works of establishment right now. I don't know when exactly it would be up and running. But if and when it does, I certainly hope we could talk about this or something. I need to really really pray hard about this. I mean, gosh, I never knew how bad sex like this could get but I mean, this is just rediculous. Sometimes I just can't bare to talk to her. Because then I get reminded of them two doing things they shouldn't be doing and I can't do or say anything about it, what would it do? Nothing. Maybe I need to just give it time. It's only been about 3 or 4 days. Maybe they will "cool off" in a month or so. If not, then this is just crazy. There will be some major strains in our friendship. And I don't want that to occur. Well, I had hoped that this would at least relieve me or something as a drainer...just goes to show you that cutting has it's pro's and con's but let's not go there again. But yeah, I still am thinking too much. Much too much thoughts going through my mind. I need a really big distraction. Maybe that's why I haven't been talking to her as much as before, 1: because she's too "busy" and 2: because I'm trying to look for something to distract myself with so that I don't talk to her so much. Not that I don't want to but yeah... Excuse me if you're sensitive about topics that include premarital sex but it IS an issue going on in today's youth and it is a problem. Major prayer time coming up soon.... .:EDIT:. Today was so busy. Practice, then Ariel's house so that my parents could pick me up, then home for 10 minutes before going to church, then the store and chores and back home. Is there such thing as dying from over-stress/work? I try to eat something but whenever I do, it tastes nasty and it sorta makes me sick to my stomach. I haven't eaten today.