Trying to stay positive all the time has its downsides. Thats how I got out of my rut, I grabbed on to something and forced myself to stay positive on every situation. But thats hard, humans cry because they need to let emotion out, they need to vent. By pushing that back all the time you get times like......now. Where your entire world crashes for no reason at all, and you start to blame yourself for everything thats eating away at you. Because alot of it is your fault anyway. You never know when they could go, but it happens..everyday, and I take it all for granted. It happend a few weeks ago in the most horrible way possible. I didnt even know what to say to trevor..but I love you bud. Im so thankful for what I have, how far Iv come, and who I have. But I dont know how to tell them. I wish I did...... I love you mom I love you dad I love you cambria I love all my friends ~mike~

I just might get rid of this diary as I did my old one. Too many memories. Yuck. But as of right now. Everything is amazing. School is good. Friends are awesome. The Band is great. My Baby is amazing. ♥

I got to see BJs son last night. And I never got the whole "awww It looks just like you" kinda thing. Babys look like babys. But BJs son, Noah Averey Ordonez, looks alot like BJ, his HUGE eyes, BJs big head. Noah even starts swingin fists like his pops. It was so cute. I cant wait till BJ sees him. But Iv been doing damn good for myself. Things are nice. ♥

The littlest things you do make the biggest impacts through mouths. If you say one little thing that someone might not agree with, people make shit up, put words in my mouth and LIE LIE LIE I hate it. Hey, FUCK YOU! = ) howz that? go tell your friends.

Iv been kinda of sitting back and enjoying every little thing that comes around. still learning... But Im there. Im where Iv wanted to be for so long. And now that Im here, Im just kind of getting through school. Making some better choices. Crazy nights with the best of friends. I wouldnt want to be anywhere else. I really want to go to the I GOT SHOT IN THE FACE FATAL EMBRACE LETTERS TO ELIZABETH show tonight. But I can barley walk from The Warriors the other night. I blew my knee out. and my calfs dont work. ♥ Persevere

I think that I might get a new sitdiary because Im over this one. maybe. yes? / no? tell me

Im doing good =) All my prioritys consist of now is going to be: FRIENDS - Obviously SCHOOL - Ive gotta pass high school KERRIA - my band is my everything DANCING AT SHOWS - vent like no other and the relationship thing...well I either want a long lasting one again...or nothing. I dont want a bunch of fucking drama with somebody. Fuck that. Im better than I have been in a long time though. I can thank my friends and music for that. ♥ mike

So Im at the mall today purchasing clothes and things. When 2 girls skitter up to me and say "Hey! are you in Kerria?!?!" "Yeah, youve heard of us?" "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah" point was that they were hott. thats only happend a couple times and it makes my day. anyway. My life as of now. School Kerria ♥

Its been a while since Iv writted in here. But Ive been busy. Im starting to work, focus more on finishing school, the band is now a major priority cuz we are officially signed to mediaskare records. Everythings awesome tho. Wouldnt change a thing. ♥

Ive written a bunch of differant things. But I dont like any of them. So as of now. Fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck them. Fuck him. Fuck her. Fuck the world. Too much shit going on right now. Im soooo ready for this show. I havent danced in a long time. YOU ARE A FUCKING SCENE CELEBRITY

Be careful what you wish for. And cherish every fucking moment. Ive been loosing too many people latley. I tripped I need to get the fuck out of here for a while. Mentaly. Im exhausted and fed up with way too many people that are supposed to be my friends. Ive used 3 stones on one bird. Im Mike, and Im an asshole.

This can go two ways Its back. Hasent been around for a while. But it seems like Im not even living or experiancing anything without it. I remember months ago when it was there everyday of the week, and me either having a bad day or good day rested on a few words at the end of the night.That was all I needed to get a good nights sleep or lie there, awake and rotting. If you know what my definition of living is...Ive done it the last couple nights. I was LIVING. unlike some people I know. so.. take it which ever way you like. ♥

Before I didnt even care, I was kind of a dick. So I guess I deserve this, but now its all differant. Its amazing how quick things change within days. Yeah, Just what I need right now too... Worse things have happend. If you talk shit then get ready to get it served back up. And if you take it up the ass thats your deal. I have no problem with punching you in the face. bitch. ♥

One of my best friends and biggest influance of my life so far went to military camp last year. After that he went into boot camp and became an actual MARINE for the US. I kept in contact with him through letters and such. He came back today, he came to my school and I got the biggest smile of my face. Juan Salizar, all dressed up in his formal MARINE uniform. Its amazing. I love Juan to death and can recall sooo many good times weve had. I hung out with him for hours today and hadent seen him crack a smile all day until we talked about our old times. Too bad it was only a few hours I got to see him and not a few days, or weeks. IF YOU THINK YOUR TUFF, YOUR NOTHING COMPARED TO A MARINE...fuckin scene kids.anyway, We talked about everything, caught up with eachother. He is amazing, and I admire him to the fullest for doing what hes done. Im so proud of him and proud to walk with him and stand near him and call him one of my best friends in this world. In a few months he gets shipped off to Iraq, I can only pray that nothing happens. He always was one to take care of himself though. Juan Salizar, I love you to death. Be Careful. Good Luck. Semper Fi ♥

The whisky show was a good one. very good. And more than that, I love all of my friends. I didnt realize how much backup and support I have. If somone fucks with my friends they fuck with me and this whole FUCKED UP scene. Friendship is a title you must earn Thank you, all of you. I love you to death. ♥

I havent been updating latley because things have just been hectic and constantly changing, they still are, but its cooling off. This is a crucial time for Kerria and myself. We are mentaly and physicly exhausted and are unprepared to deal with new bad news every week, which is sadly the case. As for me. All I can do is wait, try to do something that will make me feel better. Im having more and more I need to care about on my shoulders and recently only two things have been shining with importance. Im just confused on what to do. Everyday things get more and more into tunnel vision, I feel like Im a little seperated from everything. I just cant wait. Till we see him. Say Something Say Something Say Something Say Something Say Something Say Something Say Something Mother Fucker

This can go either way. But hopefully the way weve planned. Weve been through worse... FocusFocusFocus Cmon Mike, Dont take a breath or youll be left behind. Self Improvment = Fight Me

It was my moms bday last night We went to dinner It was nice I saw my little cousin. Shes getting really big. ♥

Mike set his prioritys Mikes had some time to think To gather himself and see what he could make out of the pieces and hes close to finishing the puzzle And hes happy about that. He has got everything he could possibly want in his life right now. ♥

All your life, you hope and dream for something. You reach for the stars and the skys the limit. You have goals. And you pray for the day that your dreams will come true And then they do. But Your dreams, your hopes, your wishes...they dont mean anything to the people that are supposed to be there for you and support you in every way possible. So do your dreams really mean anything when those people arent proud of you? Your doing it for you...but its for them too. they dont care, they think its a big joke. If I had to make the decision of my life right now...Would they be proud of me? You can do whatever the hell you want. But if someone you love and care for doesnt care...you wont feel good about it. Everyone depends on eachother. Thats where shows come in for me. It can be almost anything for anyone. But as long as you forget all the fucked up shit that goes on in your life, its there. It could be a few seconds and it could be 30 mins. But you forget, you let go. and in that time, nothing matters, no one matters, and your free. ♥