life deffinitly has it's ups and downs doesn't it? slowely im getting to know chris a little at a time. he's actually a very interesting person, if you can get past his antisocial-ness, and smartalic remarks. i think i might persue a friendship with him actually. and funny enough he approves on the guys i like. :p ne ways. im 17 and i can drive now. so looking back on this past year i've grown up A LOT. i've been through a couple heartbreaks. lies. rumors. and more lies. but i've come out strong. and i've learned what to do in a relationship and what not to do in a relationship. although i already knew all of that, but i think i had to go thru it myself to actually understand how it doesn't work. and how much it truly hurts. i wasn't surrounded by the right type of people. and i've learned people aren't my life and i have no problem shoving the people who don't respect me out of my life ne more. [which i did have a hard time with earlier in the year] and which i actually had to go thru with and shove a couple people out of my life, because they were hurting my relationship with others. and hurting me more than supporting me. i have no problem being the responsible one which i have been noted for. although sometimes i don't enjoy that as much as one would think. i've been yelled at. cursed at. and backstabbed this year. loved ones have died that i truly did love. and i shall quote someone "who ever wrote "it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all" i would like to deck them, because it is sooooo untrueeee." -ctv3 and that quote is true, because it hurts more to love and lose than to never love someone. although knowing me i can't do that. sometimes i too caring, and i get hurt, but i've come to expect that. you could be the smooothest talker, or the best looking, but im still going to be a skeptic of how you actually feel about me. half my friends have fallen into the category of drug users. but i still love them despite that. but i can't be around them because i do not support their decisions. i've become my own person this year. i do what i want and what i feel is right. and my parents trust me again. not to mention they don't mind me going out late at night, nor hanging out with my friends. and if i feel like something is very important my father says i am an adult, ad i should be able to make my decisions for myself and that he will give me his opinion but in the end it is truly my decision. im working harder this year. and im very busy. a couple people who dropped out of my life are back. and i welcomed them surprisingly with arms wide open. one of which because he needed me. which i always told him i would not wait for him to come to me, but i would always be there when he called. ends up he called. i amazingly have finished this year without hating ne one. although i might not love them ne more, i do still care for everyone. some of which less and some of which more. i'll end this huge update with the fact that my mother calls me "anti-social" since i sit on my computer with my headphones on, blocked out from the world. but in those few moments i can be myself. and ignore everyone else. lmao. i've most deffinitly learned a lot this year and i have grown up. i know who i am, i know what i want. and im not stopping till i get it. much love people mislis

life deffinitly has it's ups and downs doesn't it? slowely im getting to know chris a little at a time. he's actually a very interesting person, if you can get past his antisocial-ness, and smartalic remarks. i think i might persue a friendship with him actually. and funny enough he approves on the guys i like. :p ne ways. im 17 and i can drive now. so looking back on this past year i've grown up A LOT. i've been through a couple heartbreaks. lies. rumors. and more lies. but i've come out strong. and i've learned what to do in a relationship and what not to do in a relationship. although i already knew all of that, but i think i had to go thru it myself to actually understand how it doesn't work. and how much it truly hurts. i wasn't surrounded by the right type of people. and i've learned people aren't my life and i have no problem shoving the people who don't respect me out of my life ne more. [which i did have a hard time with earlier in the year] and which i actually had to go thru with and shove a couple people out of my life, because they were hurting my relationship with others. and hurting me more than supporting me. i have no problem being the responsible one which i have been noted for. although sometimes i don't enjoy that as much as one would think. i've been yelled at. cursed at. and backstabbed this year. loved ones have died that i truly did love. and i shall quote someone "who ever wrote "it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all" i would like to deck them, because it is sooooo untrueeee." -ctv3 and that quote is true, because it hurts more to love and lose than to never love someone. although knowing me i can't do that. sometimes i too caring, and i get hurt, but i've come to expect that. you could be the smooothest talker, or the best looking, but im still going to be a skeptic of how you actually feel about me. half my friends have fallen into the category of drug users. but i still love them despite that. but i can't be around them because i do not support their decisions. i've become my own person this year. i do what i want and what i feel is right. and my parents trust me again. not to mention they don't mind me going out late at night, nor hanging out with my friends. and if i feel like something is very important my father says i am an adult, ad i should be able to make my decisions for myself and that he will give me his opinion but in the end it is truly my decision. im working harder this year. and im very busy. a couple people who dropped out of my life are back. and i welcomed them surprisingly with arms wide open. one of which because he needed me. which i always told him i would not wait for him to come to me, but i would always be there when he called. ends up he called. i amazingly have finished this year without hating ne one. although i might not love them ne more, i do still care for everyone. some of which less and some of which more. i'll end this huge update with the fact that my mother calls me "anti-social" since i sit on my computer with my headphones on, blocked out from the world. but in those few moments i can be myself. and ignore everyone else. lmao. i've most deffinitly learned a lot this year and i have grown up. i know who i am, i know what i want. and im not stopping till i get it. much love people mislis

Happy Easter Everyoneeeeeee. [happy resurection DAY]

it is just beautiful outside. i believe i shall go enjoy the last bits of cold sunshine. and watch the wondrous sunset. [lissa]

today was one of the hardest days ever. today was the funeral. it was a good funeral. he got a 3 gun salute [all they could get everyone was busy] and he got a flag and a flag folding cerimony. it was beautiful. something he deserved. haha when i got in the car i was like mom who were those blonde boys? and she's like umm u use to play with them when u were little. and i was like and who are they???? it was funnnnnny. so besides that. today was a very hard day...i don't think i have cried more in my entire life. ever. -bath tub time- im glad sitdiary is back up. =]

ugh he told me to wake up to talk to him....then he dissapears...greeat. i could have been sleeping. not like i need to sleep ne more, i've slept so much. maybe im depressed, yet i doubt it. i just feel weird.

[]im a huge procrastinator []im very hungry, yet lazy enough not to get up i haven't eaten all but a candy bar and a granola bar all day. []ct hasn't come online to talk to me which makes me sad. even though i know he will ned up calling me today. []i have a lot of homework. []i need to call ash. []i want to sleep. [] i need to find some good music [] i need to burn a mixed cd for ct []i need whipcream []or at least some food []b;lsdvj;qoefihj;edf []blah []mislis[]

smileygurl9877: haha it's great cuz everyone who leave always calls me and is like...hey u want food im getting food. and im like FOOOD YES. and then i got to go back to sleep. they fed me well and i didn't have to cook much Lubovmaya: haha Lubovmaya: enjoy it cause when youmove in with me ill call be like hey you want food? Lubovmaya: youll be like ooo yes Lubovmaya: ill be like ok start cooking ill be home in 20 minutes smileygurl9877: hahahhaa smileygurl9877: i would cook for u Lubovmaya: thankoyu love Lubovmaya: and not poision me right smileygurl9877: now why wold i poison someone i love? Lubovmaya: no idea? smileygurl9877: haha then u don't have to worry

today... welll talked to ct. he's a cutie. then went to piano. im going to be the person who finishes the recital..[[what an honour]] literially. im soo excited. been waiting 11 years for that. finally im good enough to be put last! the last is alwys the best. im going to be playing a peice written by moztart, whihc is really cool, it's me, but my style is let abrupt and more peddle. now im just waiting to talk to one of my friends online. whoooooo... ohh but i have a headache. i get them alllll the time... OoOoOh i should go check on mike. p.s. how could she make me give up PAUL. we were going to party tonight, but no she denied me my new bestest friend.

i decided i would put this up. cuz i like this drawing i made.

here is another one of my drawings.

dear diary...sometimes i feel like ur the only one who gets me.... i feel like tacos.

headin g over to becca's soon. gonna party there tonight, eh who knows. i think some girls are coming, but none that i really know, except i do know angela. She's cool. so that should be cool i guess. as long as they get me home tomorrow cuz my parents don't want to have to pick me up cuz bec lives all the way across town. woot. eh today wasn't very exciting. im allergic to the floor in our kitchen. whoo another thing to be allergic to. i think it's the lye [sp] in the concrete or something. eh who knows. welp im out....

ash came over yesterday and so did liseeee and we went shopping for green things. we gto green ties green shirts everything..ohh and green bunney ears. it was awesome. then we did our make-up all awesome and went bowling. that was the most fun i have had in a long time. it was a good thing. haha lisa and i had a cupcake/frosting war in the car [amazingly we didn't get it all in my interior of the car] ashton was laughing soo hard cuz lisa and my face was covered in frosting. it was a sight to see. took a bunch of pictures. that was fuuuun. we need to go bowling again. i looooove ties. i bought one. it rocks. well im outta here. it's time for a nap. PEACE

well i went to the getty. i love looking at art. it's so amazing. last night danny came, i was happy. although he was like "this is the last time im doing this elissa" which made me sad. But im happy he actually comes to spend time with me. Although he seems to cause drama in my life and ashton says she would never let me date him cuz he's such a player. tomorrow is saint particks day, i get to wear my favorite color...GREEN, the girls are going bowling so that should be a blast. ash and i are going to do our make-up all crazy and such and dress wacky for bowling. my sister i think has lost her mind. seriously. ohh and last night we saw HE-emos at my church, it was awesome. they were skateboarding. and garrison jumped over my head, scared me half to death all the sudden seeing legs above me and then thud someone lands in front of you. haha and i always give him a hard time about touching me and hugging me, and so he was like should i hug her...no that would be mean and she'd probebly hit me, and so i was like awwwww ok and i ran over and gave him a hug. i like having ash at uturn, she points out the things i miss about people. and she said that kriesler isn't as ugly as she though he would be, actually she said he isn't ugly at all. which made me feel better, but she says he is such a dork, which i concure. lmao. he is. welp im outta here. PEACE

i got a-hold of ct finally. but mishi said he didn't sleep ne last night, so immmmm guessing he passed out and doesn't hear his phone ringing and ringing cuz today i have called him aprox. umm maybe 5 times and she's tried calling him since 10am and im sure other ppl have tried to get ahold of him. hahaha. i went to the snoooooow today. that was kinda cool. it's not like we get much snow here in LA so when we do everyone goes crazy. lol. im suppose to be doing my hw right now. ha. i had to take a break. i hate science soo much. this has been an interesting week. very. i don't even know what to say.

welp had church today. ct won't pick up his phone.[again] im a little pissed i guess. mike didn't show today, but yet i didn't expect him to. but i wanted to show him something, guess i'll just have to wait till wednesday. or go visit him at work.[like that will ever happen].... i guess i'll try calling ct again. peace.

went to the mall yesterday. that was very cool. went with ash, lisa, tara and my mom, for tara's birthday. ash and i ran around the malll soooo much trying to get some good gifts for tara. i got some things for myself too! =] then once i got home i went online and i got to talk to mr.caryyyyyyyy i missed talking to him, and it was very wonderful to talk to him again. im glad he's not mad at me ne more. yayyyy he's such a cutieeeeeeee. and now we're about to take tara out to dinner or something. whooooo. eric finally got his cake. FINALLY. and things seem to be going ok i guess. lol ne ways yeah im outta here. PEACE<3

eric is kinda being a flake. ct still hasn't call me like he promised. and grrrrrrrr. today was ok. i wish the ppl who are suppose to call me would. cuz they suck eggs. and my family is chanting that they want cake. eric is soon going to lose his cake if he doesn't call me within the next hour or so. sorry eric <3 FLAKES. U SUCK CT. [i mean comeon, pick up the phone.] SAME WITH U ERIC. {eric this is the second cake i've baked u} [ so im like done}