life deffinitly has it's ups and downs doesn't it? slowely im getting to know chris a little at a time. he's actually a very interesting person, if you can get past his antisocial-ness, and smartalic remarks. i think i might persue a friendship with him actually. and funny enough he approves on the guys i like. :p ne ways. im 17 and i can drive now. so looking back on this past year i've grown up A LOT. i've been through a couple heartbreaks. lies. rumors. and more lies. but i've come out strong. and i've learned what to do in a relationship and what not to do in a relationship. although i already knew all of that, but i think i had to go thru it myself to actually understand how it doesn't work. and how much it truly hurts. i wasn't surrounded by the right type of people. and i've learned people aren't my life and i have no problem shoving the people who don't respect me out of my life ne more. [which i did have a hard time with earlier in the year] and which i actually had to go thru with and shove a couple people out of my life, because they were hurting my relationship with others. and hurting me more than supporting me. i have no problem being the responsible one which i have been noted for. although sometimes i don't enjoy that as much as one would think. i've been yelled at. cursed at. and backstabbed this year. loved ones have died that i truly did love. and i shall quote someone "who ever wrote "it is better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all" i would like to deck them, because it is sooooo untrueeee." -ctv3 and that quote is true, because it hurts more to love and lose than to never love someone. although knowing me i can't do that. sometimes i too caring, and i get hurt, but i've come to expect that. you could be the smooothest talker, or the best looking, but im still going to be a skeptic of how you actually feel about me. half my friends have fallen into the category of drug users. but i still love them despite that. but i can't be around them because i do not support their decisions. i've become my own person this year. i do what i want and what i feel is right. and my parents trust me again. not to mention they don't mind me going out late at night, nor hanging out with my friends. and if i feel like something is very important my father says i am an adult, ad i should be able to make my decisions for myself and that he will give me his opinion but in the end it is truly my decision. im working harder this year. and im very busy. a couple people who dropped out of my life are back. and i welcomed them surprisingly with arms wide open. one of which because he needed me. which i always told him i would not wait for him to come to me, but i would always be there when he called. ends up he called. i amazingly have finished this year without hating ne one. although i might not love them ne more, i do still care for everyone. some of which less and some of which more. i'll end this huge update with the fact that my mother calls me "anti-social" since i sit on my computer with my headphones on, blocked out from the world. but in those few moments i can be myself. and ignore everyone else. lmao. i've most deffinitly learned a lot this year and i have grown up. i know who i am, i know what i want. and im not stopping till i get it. much love people mislis