so i promised myself i'd never write in this thing again, but here i am. i just turned 18 last saturday. i'm finally legal. i'm still with my boyfriend. we've been together for 3 years and 4 months. we're still very much in love and very happy with each other. life is good. we were jack and sally for halloween, soo cute! it hurts me to be on here knowing that my last entry was about Attila's death. it sucks and it still feels like only yesterday i found out. i miss her. how are all my old friends? anything crazy happen?

i no longer use this and i don't think i'll ever come back. i just want to say that you guys can reach me at www.livejournal.com/users/leydahl or myspace: http://profiles.myspace.com/users/5273869. now, before i leave i want to express my sadness/anger regarding the death of my lovely friend Attila. i'm mad that she has left my side and i will never again talk to her or hear her say the lovely things she did. The War was fought and a victim was found. Attila Ramirez 6/25/86 - 9/3/04 may you find happiness wherever you are. i love you and you'll never be forgotten. and with that i leave you all.

these are my fave jeans. yea, i know they make my ass look all weird and crooked, but i don't care because i LOVE them! check out my awesome GRECS wristband! very hot, i know!! off to my husband's house....again!

off to le boyfriend's house. anniversary on momday! 1 year and 11 months. ♥

me: hey jose, you know who died today? jose: who? me: rick james bitch! jose: ok, so who died? me: rick james bitch!!! jose: oh, you're so funny babe. me: shut up.

i love this boy. he's the most beautiful person in the world. and if you say otherwise, i'll hunt you down like the pathetic jealous bastard you are.

i've decided to become a porn star. yup and what the fuck is up with everyone all of a sudden being all in love with shannyn sossamon? she's my girlfriend and eveyone else FUCK OFF!!!

Fucking you is stange and adored by me throughout. i miss you, babe.

i am so happy everyone in my family loves my hubby. we all went out to dinner last night and it was great. he looked so sexy! he wanted me to spend the night over but i couldn't because i have to do soo much homework! well, i don't have a lot of time to update so i'll just make it up to you kiddies later...

i'm back and although i know i had promised you kids pictures of my boyfriend, i don't have any. i had taken soo many pictures of our adventure to north hollywood on the bus, then the metro, then the bus again. i had to walk for five miles in north hollywood with the sun on my back. damn it was fucken hot!! i also had pictures of us washing his car, making kool-aid, kissing, hugging, and just hanging out. and this morning you know what the hot bastard did? he deleted them all, just so he could take pictures of me sleeping. :[ so now i'm home and i'm eating some pineapple. it's so good. i think my boyfriend's mom saw my boob this morning. i know there's not much to see, but i think she did because we sleep nakie and when he got up this morning he left the door open and she came in to put something away. so i think she saw me nakie. it's ok because she wasn't acting all weird around me. she's damn awesome. :] so it turns out we might not move all far away anymore. we might move into this huge house somewhere near delevan drive elementary. it'd be cool. but that means i'll go back to eagle rock, so shit talkers beware! ;]

http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 http://profile.myspace.com/users/5273869 myspace. add it or i'll poke you in the eye...hard!!!

i'm sure all of you are tired of the pictures of me posted in my previous entry, so i decided to kindda update. turn the volume up on your computer and listen to the music i have on my site. don't you just love the smiths? i think my next tat is gonna be a Smiths/Morrissey themed one. oh and to see the girl i'd grow a penis for, go here: http://www.gap.com/assets/shops/gap/denim/movie/tvscratch.mov

i had one of the best days ever!! gawd i love everyone and everything right now. well, maybe not everyone. so i went to pick up my contacts today! everyone said i looked like a hot asian chick. not an ugly asian, a pretty japanese one. yay! i can't deny the fact that i looked really good today. my hair was the sex and i'm just really happy. we had a nice japanese lunch today with my mom's gay bud. he is so fucken AWESOME! then we went to jamba juice bc candie wanted something from there. oh and i had my badass pimp glasses. *wink* i've heard that i look emo, but i don't give a fuck because i am the shit. if you have anything to say to me say it to my face instead of being a fucken chickenshit talking shit through the internet. LAME ASS! i don't care if you think i look emo because i know i'm not. i don't listen to the fucken prepubecent whiny bands you do. i have good taste in music, unlike you. you sad sorry dumb doss cunt. get a fucken life and stop being so fucken interested in mine. yea i know i'm fucken awesome, but this is like stalker status. you go out of your way just to know what i'm up to. are u like secretly in love with me? hmm.... i promise i'll post a bunch of pix of me pretty soon. i'm just rather lazy.

since my last entry i've been away. i was with jose. all is better between us. we made up and it's as if nothing has happened. :) denial. lol. i miss him already. he's called me twice since i left his house. i guess he misses me too. love, what a tricky little thing that is.

yesterday i watched Sex and the City. never has such a little show made me so happy. i thought they were gonna play the episodes from the first season, but they didn't. not that i'm complaining. most of my buds that are kindda familiar with the characters always said i was the Samantha of the bunch, but watching Carrie and Big yesterday reminded me of my own relationship. i guess that's why Sex and the City has so many watchers, because we can all identify with at least one of the characters. maybe that's how it is with most popular shows, i don't know. i absolutely love Carrie's scream. it's so cute, well, she's so cute! TBS is gonna show 2 episodes each night until friday. did anyone else watch the show last night? jose and i are doing better. i don't want to jinx it so that's all i'll say. ;]

jose and i broke up... the end.

Cherry Pop's birthday was on wednesday. So now we're gonna celebrate it on saturday. it should be fun. i'm going to see all my buds and my lovaa tomorrie. yay! i can't wait. so it was our 22 month anniversary on wednesday too. 1 year and 10 months. i love him... i will post pictures of the party and post them here.... a tout a l'heure.

i found a quote that said something along the lines of this : those who are faithless know the joy of love. those who are faithful know the pain of love. i just feel like crap... i don't know what to do. i don't know if i should be worried, sad, angry, etc... i used to be such a strong person. and then i fell in love. i feel i've made myself so vulnerable to him that any kind of mistreat or bad word hurts me like no one else can hurt me i've become this pathetic excuse of a person. hanging on his every damn word and action. it's sad what love has turned me into. i feel like i've cheated everyone being with him. i miss my buds...i miss life before him. but i can't imagine life without him, he is my heart, as cliched as that sounds. i feel like i can't say good-bye to him. like i am bound to him. i guess i subconsciously feel i can't do any better. I'm pretty sure i can do better, but he seems so perfect for me. my family loves him, i love his, and i wouldn't be able to just say it's over. not after almost 2 years of loving him and professing my undying love to him. he means everything to me.