iT WAS CALLED YELLOW. Coldplay is amazing. Work sucked. It was soo frikkin slow. And I only worked for 9 hours this weekend. But I did get like $78 ? or something. So that's alright. I can't remove him from my head. Jeremy is supposed to be having Matt and Tom over to spend the night. It's 1.45 am. I don't think they'll be popping up anytime soon. I wish I could talk to Ryan right now. I do need to tell this boy about how I feel for him. I'm torturing myself. I might look for him tomorrow in the phone book. I need to hear his voice. We really don't listen to the same music. He's wayyyy more into punk stuff then I'm ever gonna be. But...things can change. If we can hang out and such. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm driving myself crazy over Ryan. I can't wait till Monday. Yes, that's saying I want to have school. But not for the school. For English. And for History. Those 2 subjects that I getta see him in. And for lunch, cos I see him there too. Maybe my love is too strong for him. I can't doubt myself now though. If I do, and then we go out, I'll end up not liking him. And that's the ONE THING right now that CANNOT happen in my life. I don't want him, I need him.