.its been soooo long since i wrote in here. i got a new computer so its all good now. . Nothing is new with me. My life is completly boring latly. . I see him all the time now. I miss him and want him soo much. But ill just keep waiting. . Well my dad has nothing to do with me anymore. The past 3 weekends its supposed to have been my weekend with him hes forgotten to get me every single night. Things at home are fuked. Im stressed. Work completly sucks to. . Going to see black eyed peas on the 15th. Dont like them much but it'll still be fun. Its a concert. .I can't shake you, no matter how much I hate you, because you captivate my mind with all my rage and you know how to get to me, even after all these years, because you knew me. One last cigarette we'll share tonight, and I'll chase down the door, wanting to leave more than stay and stare at your eyes. You're beautiful when you're wrists cry and you crawl to the floor. I'll walk away from you, wishing your eyes would stop gazing at my inner thoughts. My eyes bleed tears I never though would fall for someone so miserable yet smug. I can't feel for someone I hate, and you have to stop comming back, leave me alone and let me be. I need time to straighten out what you've done to me, what you claim was my saving, my learning. You never understood me, you always took me for granted, but I came back, always came back. Because it's me at fault now, because I let you, I let you enfold me.