she dreamz n dreamz of this guy. the perfect guy. the guy shes been wanting for ever. and shes going crazy for him. everyday everynight the only thing she can think about is him. she'll not be able sleep because shes 2 busy day dreaming about him. well finally she gets him. oh does she get him. hes hooked. hes hers. and then something happenes... something clicks inside of her and all of a sudden, the feelings gone. the love the lust and feeling of always wanting to be with that one person. where does it go? why does it go? why does this always happen? is it just about a chanellge? is it just about working for it? but now what happenes? if u dont have the feelings for him anymore how do u explain. maybe you think he will get a hint. but here it comes. the selfishness, the jealousy that makes you his again. but once thats gone, wat will be left? nothing..? so here u go u think about it again.. how do i show him im not intrested but everytime he starts to get that picture and he starts not talking to you and flirting with ur friendz and other girls something clicks back on. and u go crazy for him again. you want him more then u have ever. so here u go hes urs again and u lead him on once again. and for a while its nice. its fun but then again u realize i dont want him anymore. theres just something messing. the feelings you had in the start are now gone. they just left. without a warning sign and now again hes urs. well then u do something stupid. u do stuff with someone else. and the guy finds out. well hes mad. hes real mad. and at first u feel bad but ur kind of glad. hes not all hooked on you. but oy here it comes again. the big word that always gets someone in trouble.. JEALOUSY! wat an evil evil thing to feel! and here u go again ur going crazy for this guy. but he doenst want to talk to you ever again. hes mad at you. u hurt him and now ur hurting urself. then you think.. what if i get him back. this whle thing is going to happen again. its going to repeat and repeat! i just dont get it. no matter wat you do, someone will get hurt. its a proven fact. i just dont get it. how do u keep urself intrested without the jealousy and then selfishness. how do u truely have ur heart be with the guy? its really confusing.. really confusing. and if u have cared for the guy is it better to not do anything about ur feelings because u now no matter what hes going to end up gettin hurt. can someone help me. can someone help me stay with my feelings. can someone help me not be so jealous and not lead guyz on. i dont get myself i really dont. my heart wil be pounding for him but then it justs moves on. do i really stop liking the person? or is it something else? is it something deeper.. anyone that can leave any advice please do because this is driving me up a fyching wall!!ahhh!!!!! okay well im gonna go... i now a lot of this probbably doesnt make sence and doesnt fit together at all but im just typing my feelings right now and right now there mixed up. well anyones help please :) hehe (this is like 2 mintues later) i just read my friends entry n its about boyfriend n love n stuff n i realized i could have that with the guy this whole entry is about n then i realized he like hates me now and then i realized well how do i kno i really like him n then i thought well culd i justbe having these feelings because hes mad at me n its another chanellge n its another thing to work at. oy im weird n confusin n im really a bitch for doing this. soo confused right now i dont even make sense... im going to go to bed. its 2:13 in the morn n then nite before i had like 4 hours of sleep split up into differnt times. hmmm k im really going now. comment me n help if u can :) -gordon