I changed my whole background and everythingg.. its WOW now, its so colorfull.. but im not sure if im gonna leave it like thiss, its just making me happy right now lol haha =) Anyways.. ive been thinking lately about alot of things, alot of old things. Its wierd but lately i feel like ive been missing somethingg, something i had before. Its wierd, i dont know how to explain it. I miss hanging out with the people i use to hang out with all the time. Like when it was close to summer, there'd be a couple of us that would hang out all the time, and thered be this whole gang, lol.. and i had so much fun then. I mean, im having fun now, i just really really misss that. I miss going to phils house sometimess.. or just seeing adam and playing football. I know it sounds stupid, but i do.. alot Ive also been thinking about something else alot. One of my closest friends and i still arent talking. She called me the other day, and i was so excited, cause i thought we were gonna try and work things out.. but it didnt work out that way. She only called because she thought i had called that morning, and when she found out that i hadent.. she said "right, well ill talk to you sometime" and hung up.. and i didnt hang up the phone for a minute. I just sat there on my bed, and couldnt believe shed hung up.. and i realized how bad things are. I know its such a little thingg.. i mean its just a phonecall i know, but thats never happened, all the years weve been friends, and now we cant even talk on the phone.. but im still not sure what to do. I mean, you know how theres that whole saying *Chicks Before Dicks* lol.. well i think its pretty true. The thing is, i know i was probably an idiot, and that i could have acted alot different, but the thing is.. i really was gonna put her so close to the top, and i was gonna try so hard but she wont accept it. Now im just not sure.. because she knows i want her back alott, but she still dosent care. And i know half of the reason is because she dosent want this to happen again, but telling me to choose isnt fair. ITs nto fair to anyone i dont think, no matter who it envolvess.. your allowed to have your friends, and your allowed to have a boyfriend, youve just got to even it outt.. and your allowed to make mistakes while its happening. I know i messed up pretty bad, but i dont think i actually meant as much to her as i might have thoughht.. i just really want my rose backk Ughh.. besides all that, i got my report card backk.. my average dropped by 2 precent so it wasnt that bad, but alot of my marks slighty dropped, except for sociall.. that dropped 10 precent.. i efffing hate mr roston. I swear, every single day he gets out of his desk, walks all the way over to mine just to criticize me, or tell me what im doing wrong, or jsut to tell me to be quiet.. and before i use to say nothing at all to him. Now, i actually kind of stand up for myself, and i think he just enjoys arguing with me.. i hate it.