I'm sick. Just plain sick, like stuffed nose.. conjested yuckie head feeling, soar throat, really tired + time of that moooooooonth.. which just adds to it all lol, but ive been handling it prettyy good. im pretty happy Tonight I just had a lazy day. i liked it. I came home from schhoool, did some homework, changed into my comfy clothes, put my hair in a ponytail, and put my sex and the city..season 3 dvds on. And i watched them, all night. They really make me think. I've just been so confused about everything lately, over thinkign things, and underthinking things. So many things that happen to those girls.. besides having random sex with everyonee lol ican relate to. i just love it. It made me so sad though. The episode where Aiden and Carrie break up is the worssssst. I always cry in it. Aiden was my favorite boy on sex and the city. All of Carries boyfriends are very opposite, and.. they each have good qualitiesss.. but if i had to choose one of them, i would have picked aiden. Hes just nice, and funy, and sweet, and easy going and layed back, and just so real and practical. He was the best thing for her.. and then Bigg, comes out of nowhere, while hes marriedd.. and just like that, no matter how hard she trys, she messed up, and there having an affair. Its so retarted, adn it makes me so mad. I know its just a show, but it made me thinkk... If you had something amazing goign with someone, someone amazing, and everything was perfect.. and so much more then anything else you ever had, why would you, in an instant go back to something in the pastt.. when it obviosly didnt work out? I mean, everyone wants the perfect realtionship right? Well then how come, no matter how close you may get sometimees, its never enough? I know im never going to have an affair, or anything like thatt.. but what i have is so good, and sometimes i judge it and compare it, and when the littlest things happen.. or when they may not seem to be perfect at the moment you need them to be, i wonder. I have an all around good guy. Theres things about me im sure he could do without, and theres things about him i could probably do without.. but i tihnk its those little things that make it a relationship. If everything was perfect, all the time, and there were no times of imperfections.. i dont think it would be a relationship. I believe that relationships should be full of those amazing times when everything is perfect, and those moments when you never want to move or be apart, and times when you just feel special.. but ive came to terms with the fact, that... everything i have in my mind, of the perfect guy, will probably never be met.. and if somehow it were, it wouldnt be enough. The perfect guy, is the one who is so much of what you thought of, and more. More of everything, the good and the bad. I know this sounds stupid, i mean.. im only 15, and i have so many thinsg ahead of me, and so many experiencess ahead of me.. but i just realized tonight, that nothing can ever be exactly what you picturedd.. but sometimes, it can get pretty close =) wow. alrightyy, lol besides me being all wrapped up in my feeelings, and trying to get them straightened outtt.. Me and kella are on a sugar/junk food strik, and its actually starting to driveme nuts. Its actually so hard. I eat so much junk food. like i knew i did.. but not eating it makes me realize HOW much i eatttttttt. I just want to lose weighttttt. so badlyy Soccers almost over. Im so sad actually.. because i have no idea whatsa going to happen with tryouts, and what i want to happen. I liked this season, and i love my coach. i hate change. lol i really do i wish things never changedddddd alrightyyy, im donnnee xoooo