centrallll

by fall2piecess
Lukes gone Ashtons gone Im in lethbridge And linhs even gone from here and i know its probably the fact that i actually have no way to see my friends, but its no different really then how the last coouple months of grad 10 have been. i really mis having friends. Just hanging out, and being at the hockey rink with phil and adam, or walking around riverbend for hours with a big group, even though wed never really go anywhere. i miss walking over to jessicas more then 5 times on the weekends, and i miss just seeing her. I just, i think that i put all these feelings aside because im so happy with they way things can be. Like, me and ashton and luke are ususally spending alot of time together, and there both great, fun guys so its always fun. and i just love luke. i do. so, i dont know why i feel like this. I dont really tell anyone about it, and i dont talk much about it to anyoneee, i just.. miss alot of things. I miss grade 7, when i saw phil alot. I miss gr 8 when everyone just hung out. I miss grade 9, because even it was still better. I think im really shy now. Ive made friends in highschoool, but not alot. And i miss my friends. I miss them. I love luke, and i would spend every moment i had with him if i could, i just think.. that i need to balance it a little bit. not even balance it, just have time for everyone.. cus i dont, and i think id feel a little shut down if i wasnt myselff. I dont like feeling this way its like everyone has kind of expected me to never be there, or never be available to do anything.. and i deserve it. but i hate it. i really miss everything. I lovel ife. i love parts of my lifee. I just need, i want it all. All together. A life of love, and friendships, good friendships would make me happy. I have amazing friends, i just have to work on.. i dotn know, work or making it better. I admire katie and chad, they seem to have everything in a relationship figured out. They both have amazing best friends, who they see all the time. Theyre always together, but they seem to always be with friends too. i dont know how they do it. there two amazing people, and i admire that, cus they make eachother so happy sometimes, i just sit at my locker, and look at them.. lol it sounds creepy, but im not even kidding. They just make me so happy because theyre always so happy, and so constantt, and they just remind me how good things can beee =)
Read 8 comments
CHELSEYYY!!
lol I just read your entry and your sooo good at writting. I think youd be good at writting song lyrics. lol anyways, lol thanks for writting that little part about me and chad. lol im not really sure what your feeling about luke, and i guess only you would, but really like if i think on what your saying, it kind of sounds like what i had too, like timing..i dunno but like do you mean how you like loooove luke sooo much, and youve
never felt another way about anyone, and you would love to spend every minute with him because he makes you just that happy, but you also miss your friends and you just wish everything would balance out to be even and pefect so you would still have your best friend times like you did when you were 8 years old with..whoever it was your were best friends with, like jessica, or lihn or whoever, and...ugh i dont know, its just,
I think i know what you mean by some of the stuff you wrote in your entry..lol and sorry if im totally off, or something. but yeah and what you said about me and chad always being happy, lol well we are, but even when were arguing, or in some stupid fight, we still are happy, but in a different way, and we might not be thinking about it right then. like with you, i know you love luke to death and i can see it and chad can and alot of people can
tell you both really love eachother, and even if your not having the best day, you still know that even though your fighting or maybe not even fighting, but confused about something or trying to figure something out, that hes still that guy you always talked about with your girlfriends in grade 7, haha and when you first dated was kind of shy around but you thought he was soo cuute and that everything would be perfect like in movies..lol well
love movies are real, and some aree really good ones! *cough* The Notebook *cough* lol and love isnt just about the times where you both just lay on your bed and talk for hours, or lie down on the couch and youy resting on his chest and your both not saying a word and you just fall asleep together, its also about the times where you roll your eyes and walk away because of how mad you are at him or because you said
something stupid but dont want to admit it just so you can prove your the right one, but then once you finally do prove it, you feel bad because you won over him. Love is about all of that, not just about the good times. You remember everything in a realtionship, even the bad times...but dont forget, everything you went through, you went through it with him...together.
okay, maybe your entry wasnt even about you and luke, and it was just about balancing your time with eveyone, then id feel kinda stupid..lol but at least youll have something to read and maybe take to mind.

ps.me+you+chad+luke should go to movie sometimmmme! :)

*Katie
CHELSEY
START AT THE BOTTOM OF ALL THESE COMMENTS BECAUSE I LEFT YOU 7 BUT ITS REALLY JUST ONE BIG ONE AND IF YOU START AT THE TOP IT WILL ALL BE BACKWARDS!

LOOOVEEE YOOOOU!