I was talking with my ex the other day before going to school. I was dressed nice that day because that night I was going out. He asked me out again and I said no, because I can't hurt myself again. well heres a tid-bit of our convo: HIM: So why are you so dressed up? ME: Because I'm going to a show tonight with some friends. HIM: This is so like you, you get all dressed up hoping to meet some guy. and you wonder why no guys like you. ME: ____, we all put on a face and become someone were not, how do you know this isn't just me putting on a face becomming someone I'm not, this is so NOT me. HIM: You know sometimes I wonder why I even care ME: Is it that you wonder why you, or do you wonder if I care? ...... because I do care. HIM: If you cared you would go out with me again. ME: And if you cared, you wouldnt make me do something thats just gonna leave me hurt in the end. now you maybe wondering why I'm rejecting an amazing guy, well lets start with he cheated on me once before. but thats now why I said no. I said no because at the beginning of July hes leaving to banff for good to go to school there. Last time we went out he was supposed to go but he didnt graduate, this year hes going for sure. Why woould i put my self thru the pain of losing him again? like really people. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I haven't been sleeping much lately. My dreams or should I say nightmares are comming back. Their worse then before, no I see it as though I was in the car with him and watched him die. Its just become too much for me and my dreams are filled with him and I wake up always just as I see him walking away from me. Its keeping me up at night, I can't sleep without having those dreams. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who couldn't remember their dreams, or people who dont dream, it would be so much easier.....