i've been thinking alot again, as you know for me thats a bad thing. i was thinking about what would happen if i gave us another shot, this would be the thrid try. friday after a friend left my house i went to a party at HIS house. it was weird being around him i ended up crashing there becuase i drank alot. it was fun i wont deny that, but after people started to leave and those who were spending the night were starting to settle down i walked to the bathroom passing his bedroom door, i knew he was in there, i knew he was naked (he never did like to sleep with ne thing on) i knew that he wouldnt object to me jumping in bed with him, and oh how i wanted to. i just wanted to feel the warmpth of his body against mine again and i gave in sadly, i went into his room, and slipped under the covers with him, i gave into the temptation of being with him again....i wont say what happened but i'm sure you can all imagine. the next morning i was laying there staring at the ceiling and i thought to myself "why the fuck did you do that, you got yours but did he get his? no he didnt, he wants more then what you do, WHY ARE YOU HURTING HIM LIKE THIS" after people left at around 11 we sat in the bed and had another talk, he said that he wants me back and he knew i would come to my sences about me and him, and he knew i would be willing to give it another try....i hurt him so badly, i told him it cant be, i told him that last nice was a one time deal not to happen again. the look on his face hurt me, i couldnt stand to see it, i couldnt stand to think that i caused that look. i havent talked to him since i feel horrible like shit for leading him on like that for letting him think i was gonna try to work things out again. FUCK I'M SUCH A HORRABLE PERSON!!!! -me