i cant believe i did what i did! how could i hurt her like that im not going to go into detail about it but i've fallen for her ex and it bothers her ALOT. i dont know why but friday at mels party we were talking and then flirtting and as the night when on i realized i have feelings for him and i have since like 2 days after my brothers accident when i just couldnt be happy kevin said something and i laughed, i thought i would never laugh again and he was able to make me laugh and smile. what bothers me the most she hates me for having feelings for him which i cant help, i told her only because i didnt want to lie to her, she deserved to know the truth. but i mean shit she dumped him now shes always talking about JR and all that and how hes like her dream guy and all this other stuff but then all of a sudden i mention that i have feelings for kev because she asked and i wasnt gonna lie to her about it ne longer and now she bloody hates me. like its my fault for likeing hope like fuck you cant help who you like. she says she doesnt know why she still likes him and well i have a theory about it, she is over him but she doesnt want to admit and she hates the fact that hes gonna move on and not obsess over her. the worst part of this, she thinks that me likeing him is backstabbing. how is that backstabbing??? i cant help who i like and i cant help it if i have feelings for him. i hate to say this but i'm not gonna let things stand in the way of me being happy and finally finding the most amazing guy who is respectable and not some stupid dumb ass dealer or stoner or drop out or failure. think of what i've dated? like shit i've been with the worst of the worst and i think that i finally deserve something like him. hes different from the rest of them, hes the kind of guys i've been looking for all along and little did i know he was right there the whole time, i just never realized till friday night that hes the one i want. she thinks i should stick with going for riley, i'm sorry but i'm not going to date a drug dealer who just BARELY graduated, i'm sick of dateing guys with an IQ of fuckin zero!! the fact that she cant even be happy that i've found someone who may treat me right and respect me and be someone who can make me happy. the balls in your court hunn do what you want -finally found what i want