I CAN'T STOP THE SPIRAL INTO THE DRAINING OF MY HEART. Going back to the joint-smokers and the whores and all my superficial friends was never the same. I sat in my class giggling and throwing bits of paper at Kaytie, while Jamie ran about. These people made me happy. I was already happy. But what about when I was sad? What about when I was in the hospital? I wasn't "there" but niether were they.