THEY ALWAYS SAID IT'LL GO AWAY. The sky had been raining for several weeks. The world felt cold and slightly lonely. Today felt like such a terrible day. I was alone except for myself. Everyone referred to my baby now as my "5-month-old problem." Godamn. Whatever happened to Josh? It didn't matter now. Wherever he was, he wasn't here. As much as I wished for the sun to shine, it was like wishing for world peace. Not a large possibility. I walked into my family doctor's office, alone. It was highly embarrassing to see the doctor that I've known before I was born. But I had to face her, unfourtunatly. Inside the waiting room was much more...nicer, especially in comparasion to the abortion clinic. I shuddered at the thought. My legs carried my pregnant body all the way to the front desk. The nurse sitting looked extremly uptight, with her red hair tied so tight back that her face streched her lips inches than what looked natural. "Um. Hi." I spoke, trying to fake innocence. She didn't look up. "Mmmhmh?" "I have an appointment." She took a chewed up pen out of her mouth, a habit which should have been given up years ago, looked at me, blinking. "Well, I know that. What is your name?" As if I really needed this shit. "Lorraine." "Last name, hun." Her voice spoke purely out of bitchyness. Before I could lager at this woman for her rudeness, Dr. Loring opened the door of the waiting room. "Lorraine! Honey! Hi!" She opened her arms wide and hugged me, pretending not to notice anything unusual. I hugged her back, feeling my stomache getting slightly squished. "Come on in." I loved her for her niceness. I smiled, extremly embarrassed. Dr. Loring sat me down on a stiff wrinkly bed. "Okay, Lorraine." She got out a paper attached to a writing board. "So you're pregnant.... how far along are you?" I thought for a moment. "I think I'm five months." I rubbed around my belly button. "Wow, you're awfully small for five months..." I took this as a compliment. When I smiled, it was immediatly taken away. "That's not good..." Spoke Dr. Loring. Crap. "Ok, hun, lay down." She got out a strange looking contraption. "You're going to have your very first ultra sound!" "Yay!" I giggled. She lifted my shirt to my bra, and put a bunch of thick clear liquid on my belly. I looked at the screen, almost dying of emotion. I saw my baby! I could barely see the screen out of the blurriness of my eyes. I was so happy, just overcome with emotion. "Aww... hun, your baby is gorgeous.... Okay... you're five and a half months pregnant... your baby is healthy... could be bigger though. You need to eat a lot, you're currently 120 pounds, by next visit, which will be next month, you should be approximatly 135. It could be very dangerous if you don't gain any weight." I barely heard what she was blabbering about, but my baby... my baby... "Do you want to know the gender?" I smiled and looked to her, tearing my eyes away from the screen, wiping my eyes. "I already know." "Really? Okay, what's your guess?" She smiled back, doubtfully. "It's a girl, isn't it?" I guessed. She smiled a yes. "How did you know?" Dr. Loring replied, curiously. I looked back at the screen. "Because I can feel it."