I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T LOVE YOU IN ALL THIS CHAOS. If I didn't have the photographs, I would think I imagined it all. I came across a black and white photo of my dog and I at the beach. It was at the beach house we didn't have anymore. Another was at a party at my house and a picture of Jena and her boyfriend making out before I had a fight with her and never spoke to her again. The other was of a family get-together with John and his wife before she died of cancer. Another was of my mother when her hair was still short. The ones of Mary before she died. Ex boyfriends. Before losing my virginity. After losing my virginity. Going through my punk stage. Friends I've had fights with, friends I've lost contact with. The house we sold because we couldn't afford it anymore. My uncle before he got married and forgot about everyone else. My cousins I've never met. My life before my life.