oops, i def. forgot i had this for a couple days mrs. n is gone you are still up ther i went skating last night && was going to go to the skatepark today but its freaking below zero no way its not suppose to warm up til at least wed. so maybe NEXT weekend someone might see me there i miss you a lot i hate this feeling && knowing when you have your prom or something else semi important or not i wont be able to see you until that month that people spin around a pole on the first of may i this works i see a shrink she helps me i really always need to have someone to talk too i think if i didnt i would go literally crasy on everyones ass && most likely more on mine i drop a friend the other day she isnt worth it anymore && its fine bc she feels the same we've grown in seperate ways changed && now we just dont "click" as friends anymore i think shes going to stay the same for a while as i change, actually which is cool, whatev thers this couple that i know that i believe thinks love is being obsessed not true not cool theys obviously never had a real relationship && im not going to say anything to them but it just annoys me && a few others too i got my haircut. hint picture. i sent you something for vday i thought you would like it but it didnt freaking get to you someone is tracking it right now for me. im going to resend it asap. :] i miss my second mother i havnt seen her or the rest of the family forever && i pretty much cryed in the car today on our way to elsworth bc of it whiched stunk so bad bc we went for nothing it was just like a father, daughter hour ride thats alright actually i thought a lot in the car today i realized that if i never moved in with the rest of the family i would of never gotten closer to my dad like i needed too i just wish dennis && dustin didnt come along with the package sometimes my second mother she means alot to me she doesnt really know it though i want to go up && see her && the others sometime soon but idk bc you might get mad at me or jelious i dont think that mr. will be ther though so no worries in my past relationships i feel like i havnt been good enough for them bc i always cheated && was never completely myself or honest && i was too obsessed this time its different && i mean it with all my heart i tell you everything ..that you might need to hear or sometimes just chat i havnt cheated && right now in this stage in life ive been honest with EVERYONE i feels great bc when i do this stuff like be a real gf like what you need i feel i get a little something in return && it makes me want to keep being like this to make you && me as happy as can be i love it i feel my sorrow that my shrink told me i have more and more each day i really wish that i didnt have it but feeling bad for me or not i still got it && i know ther is absultly nothing anyone will ever be able to do about it its alright i got my ways of handling all this :] thank god. oh && if you didnt know i pray to god now bc i think itll help me && i think it has so far my mom has stopped drinking.. so far && just a bunch of other stuff that makes me happier thank you. to everyone that i know. :D I love you.