I wish that I could not care what other people think of me. I wish I was more like him. He doesn't give a shit about what others say or think of him because he knows that as long as he's happy thats the only thing that matters. It bothers me because thats the way I wish I was. I envy him so much sometimes. I go about my life through my emotions. They control what I do and by percieving others emotions I alter my actions. I wish that for once I could just stop over-thinking and do the thing I think is right, not what everyone else would view as appropriate. I feel like I'm not even my own person anymore, but I let other people's judgement and critisism make me who they want me to be. I wish that I could just stop trying to please everyone because its never going to happen and I'm just going to end up disappointing everyone. Its inevitable. This is the reason that I have anxiety attacks, emotional breakdowns, and issues with my self-conscience. This is the reason that I can't handle change or loss of control. This is the reason I have OCD and other things that just make my life more difficult. God. I envy him so much.