Just for anyone who still checks this, I'm still here, still alive, despite what life has thrown at me over the last few months... I will probably put some news up on this soon, but it is rather late right now and I still have some homework to do.

I shiver softly in the night Holding you, seeing stars so bright As I kiss your lips, softly warm Somewhere out there, our star is born

Love really is a curious thing... it's some force in the universe that seems to tear up all of the others. What would normally seem reasonable loses all reason in the face of love. What would normally seem foolish makes perfect sense. It is a bet, one you make every second that you try, once that if you try, and fail, even in little ways, it hurts inside. It is the force that when you go to check message, you wish more than anything that that person would write to you, that they would be there to talk with you, to be with you. Not that they owe it to you, not that they have any reason to. But you still hope anyway, and when they arn't you are crushed. But when you look... when you look and they are there. That is where heaven is. It is those moments that you search and find them. It is only in those moments that you truly live.

Well... this was truly a day from hell

You are 47% stoner You are the occasional stoner. When it is offered at a party, you’ll have some, but other wise, you don’t partake very often. You are super easy going, and you are always looking for a good time. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com The porno of Josh's life will be called ... "Victory on Mount Venus" 'What will the porno of your life be called?' at QuizUniverse.com Josh -- [noun]:A master of sexual gratification 'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com You will get laid in the library Most likely, you will get laid in a library. Because of your intellectual nature, you are likely to attract other intellectuals. Go to the library… Now! Preferably a University library… the smart cuties are waiting… Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Okay... so I'm back from camp... but I'm really to lazy to write about it now... so here is something else... Your Famous Last Words Will Be: "I dunno, press the button and find out."What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Why do I feel like it's happeneing all over again? Except this time I'm afraid the result will be one that isn't so simple... Somthing that I've been wondering the result of for years now...

Okay... So I'm back from the Ozarks, I have pictures... they aren't up yet... I'll tell you when they are. Basicly, it was amazing. There were a few bumps (such as I now have double eardrum infections and I had to fly back with them. Also, I won't regain total hearing for 2-3 weeks so I'm going to music camp partially deaf... that is going to be interesting...) But ya... so I'm tan (well... tanER) And it was great... even though I really missed Cait all week... I don't know how I'm gonna make it through camp... I think all of you fellow porch people who arn't going to camp need to come visit us... Okay... so I'll let you know when the pictures are up... Just a sneak peek... I have pictures of Ian in leopard underware... it's was good times...

"Well... THIS isn't awkward...." =)

What is it about girls that can drive a guy so mad. It's actually rather funny, because if you were to compare girls to drugs, it can be some of the same effect. Girls can cause guys to do stupid things, rationailty goes out the window... I know that I love her, and it really makes me feel... I don't know what it makes me feel, but when she says that she should of let me have another girl. It wasn't just her choice, I chose her too. I understand how she feels, she feel protective, and you want to give everything you can to those you wish to protect. But who will be there to protect her when she sacrafices all of her own things to save someone else. I won't let her do that.

Hannah the sexy stage manager Ian M. with his sultry ways Tamu rolling off the stage

You are not just the breeze, the but all of the air, the winds that I raise my wings to soar on, lifting me above the world of chaos, the breath that I draw into me, keeping me alieve. Keeping my heart beating inside my chest. You are the sky, the sun, the reainbow in my world, everything the makes up my universe.

Ok... so... just for the record... I wrote this song during English because I didn't want to be the first one to turn in a paper... So... I know it's corney, but I thought it would be fun to put it up... Why does it seem whenever I turn around I feel someone watching, looking for me But what if I just don’t want to be found I just wanna hide alone in the darkness [Chorus] I don’t want to be found I just wanna be left alone No one can understand all that I am Everything that’s running crazy through me No one is fit to analyze me No one can know quite enough Why can’t anyone else see I don’t want to expose myself [Chorus] There are the few that see through All the walls and traps I’ve left behind But what about them, if only they knew How much I need them to tear down my maze [Chorus] I look towards the future, hope in my eye Do I have enough to get through these times As I turn away trying not to cry I feel her standing, right behind me [Chorus] She takes my hand and leads me from there From that land of hopelessness Leading me through the dark and despair To our own little world, our own little world

Augh... whoever invented prom... I am wishing them much pain right now... Why is everything about this event so complicated? Well, I'm going... I have a white suit, so that should be cool. I dunno... I won't be that bad... P.S. I've thrown up a couple of blog posts, check it out if you have some time/are feeling like you need an intelectual challenge. once again please post, I would love the feedback. mejosh.blog.com

I mage a blog to discuss all my philosophies and rants and so on... mejosh.blog.com check it out... leave comments!

Don't you hate the feeling... it's the one where you realize that no matter how hard you try, you are never going to succeed. I couldn't help feeling like that yesterday. I felt like I climb one mountain only to fall back down, or to realize that there is another mountain to climb at the summit of the first. Today was better though. I was especially happy with my visitor who came creaping up my stair and who to got to have a lengthy discussion with and just lay there and hold her. I think that it really is her and my friends that keep me going... I just want to thank you guys...

She started it...

How can they expect me to express all of me feelings for her into those four little letters, when it is so much more. It is something that could not be written had I all the paper in the world...

Wow... everyone just seems to be pulling at me, trying to get me to do something. I feel like I'm trying to put out a brushfire... and everytime I put one part out, another one falers up, and another, so eventually my entire world will go down in flames. At some point, do I just have to give up and accept that I can't stop all the fires?