we're gonna have not one, but TWO exhange students living w/us next year! one Korean guy and one Chinese guy! they're both 16 and it'll be awesome!!!!!!!! i'm so happy that i'll finally have a brother (or TWO!)

nevermind . . .i'm stuck at home once again.

mom and i are gonna take a short road trip this weekend to look at a few colleges in New York we think. idk . . . the college part kind of freaks me out, but i'm eager to get out of the state. anyway, just wanted to let you guys know since i haven't been too chatty on AIM lately. alright, night.

ever feel like you don't have a life? i do . . . i'm so stuck.

ADDIE GOT A ROUTER - and not just ANY router .. . a WIRELESS router!!!!!!! that's right! she can be on a laptop in her room and be on xbox, and still see when you guys wanna talk on AIM and stuff! i'm SOOOOOOOOOOO stoked! (no matter how geeky it sounds . . . it means a lot in a family of 5).

So . .. it's been a while, but i dont' really feel like saying much. Other than this . . . If you ever need help, just ask for it. I'll pretty much always help one way or another. However, if you go behind my back and don't tell me things (yes, this IS being dishonest) it will hurt you and me sooner or later. I really hate being kept from the truth . . . truth is always the answer.

i am sooooooooo tired after staying up until 3 last night . .. yes, even though i didn't go to prom . .. but what is up with u guys wanting to eat at 7?!?! jesus . . . u guys are insane. hahaha. i ALMOST decided to keep sleeping . . . but i didn't . . . yes, that's how much i love all of u guys. my relatives are here. my aunt Beth and my grandfather. they're both really overwhelming b/c they constantly want to talk and there's no cousin's to interact w/instead. but i'm seriously having problems with the aunt. she's so bossy and intimidating. when i was like 13 . . . i flew w/iva out to see her and my cousins. she told me and one of my cousin's to clean up dog shit in the lawn before we could watch a movie. blehhhhh. what a bitch. anyway . . .i hope i endure their visit. if i show up at anyone's house randomly throughout the week . . . don't be alarmed . . . it will just be one of my escape efforts! don't u hate when there's something that you haven't told anyone bothering you, but u just can't say it . . . ? it's like a gamble . . . is it more hellish to keep it to yourself or have to actually deal with it in reality? yes, i know, i know . .. it's bad to keep secrets . . . but in this case, i could argue against that.

so, while you guys are all at prom today . . . i'm going to try to get ahead on my history scrapbook! doesn't that sound fun?! lol. yeah whatever . . . i need to sleep too. i got grace the xbox game "Dance Dance Revolution" with two dancing mats . . . hahaha, it was hilarious. we were both competing and it's really entertaining b/c u have to step on the beat but sometimes it gets faster and really complex . . . and then, it starts giving the person that's winning insane amounts of steps . . . i almost died. hahaha. anyway, u guys will have to come challenge us at some point. um, i'm really out of it . . . arts fest is in 2 weeks right?

rainy days make me sooooo extremely moody. i'm not really enjoying today right now . . . normally i don't mind rain. but today . . . it has made me do some very deep thinking . . . this is a poem that caught my interest today . . . i have to find one for English "The Rain" - Robert Creeley All night the sound had come back again, and again falls this quiet, persistent rain. What am I to myself that must be remembered, insisted upon so often? Is it that never the ease, even the hardness, of rain falling will have for me something other than this something not so inconsistent - am I to be locked in this final uneasiness. Love, if you love me, lie next to me. Be for me, like rain, the getting out of the tiredness, the fatuousness, the semi- lust of intentional indifference. Be wet with a decent happiness.

the computer is in my room!!!!!!! i have it contained in my domain!!!!!! mwahahahahah! lol, i'm going to be up all night downloading music and whatnot . . . probably not to good for the homework aspect, but it'll be fun. oh, and josh is getting DSL this friday supposedly . . . that'll be awesome b/c we'll be nerds and play games online together. yay! lol . . . i'm proud to be one of the few NOT going to prom . . . we shall not succumb to your evil plots of temptation! idk . . . but i don't really like the idea of a formal dance . . . dance shouldn't be constricted at all . . . however corny that may sound. plus, someone always ends up unhappy . . . i hate that. sooooooo . . . i'm planning on chillin' with some pals saturday night . . . yay! yeah, so . .. i need to start working on my history hw . .. we have to do this huge scrapbook project and i have a topic, but need to narrow it down . . . i want to do something with film, but there's so much good stuff, i don't know what part to focus on! any ideas?????

don't you hate it when you say the wrong thing? or don't say the critically needed thing?

so, i took the brutally long AP English Literature and Language test today . . . 3 hours of hell. everyone's talking about how easy the multiple-choice section was for them, i felt differently . . . i cannot STAND multiple-choice because i can't decide that fast with so many choices! idk, i think i did better on the essays than that section. the most annoying part of the day though, was when a certain bitch decides to start bothering me about SAT scores . . . yes, it was morgan (i don't care if she reads this btw). in fact, i almost DID say all this to her face b/c she was so incredibly rude and persistent. she wouldn't settle with "i did average, but i'm taking it again to get a better score" . . . she had to know the numbers. i simply said "no" but should have said, "i haven't told anyone yet, i'm not about to tell you, BITCH!" and slapped her (as i was later told i should have done). ugh, i don't think that it's something someone should be so eager to know. i mean, if the person WANTS to tell you, its okay, but if it's obvious they don't want to, then let it go! what kind of idiot needs to know other people's scores to feel satisfied with their own? why couldn't she have just compared her's to the state average or something? blehhhhhhhhh! the AP U.S. History test tomorrow has me shaking everytime i think about it. mr. c hasn't covered past the 1940s in class . . . do u know how MUCH we're missing in terms of those next 66 years?! jesus! now WONDER not many people from GSA do well on them! the only good thing that i have to look forward to is a weekend virtually free from homework (possibly going to movies on sunday) and time to sleep a little more. oh, and i suppose these friggin' tests will be over! yay! to all you sophies and frosh (and middle school kids if there are any reading this), good luck junior year . . . it's really not too fun! lol, okay, that wasn't very nice, sorry! okay, focus, addie . . . time to study! see you guys tomorrow. - addie

i'm not supposed to get online this entire weekend, maybe this week too . . . i'm sure that will work out, lol. i have to prep for the APs next week and i'm REALLY not enjoying it. the thing that's keeping me going is knowing that i can relax after the test! so, if you're looking for me, i'll be up in my room making hundreds of flashcards . . . unfortunately, i can't do anything fun this weekend! bleh. so, see u guys on monday. - Addie

Yes I feel cheated b/c it's the last day of vacation and I feel like I've accomplished nada. I meant to get ahead in art assignments . . . that didn't happen . . . and I still have all my other homework to do, including study for a huge poetry test for tomorrow. Bleh. i really want and NEED another week of relaxation . . . it just didn't happen in this one . . .

Yeah, so as many of you probably knew or found out . . . i was in NYC with some of mis chavas this weekend. it was awesome and wish i could have somehow brought all of you guys! we went to the art museum, ground zero, vintage clothing shops (with really crappy clothes, actually) and the Broadway show, "The Phantom of the Opera!" i got a sweet poster with all the cast's signature on it . . . it was a fundraiser for AIDS too! you should have seen everyone drop their jaws as the Phantom continued to talk to the audience afterwards . . . hahaha! overall, an awesome trip . . . but now comes school. fuck. i'm doomed. just to warn everyone . . . i'm going to be really cranky at school for the next week . . . watch out! now to hw . . .

okay . . . guys, i've made a pretty good effort putting comments on your diaries . . . so, AHEM . .. maybe you could put some in mine? i mean, i don't want to trouble u guys . . . lol . . . it's just reassuring to know someone actually cares i'm writing these . . . otherwise, yes, i will completely stop. i'm such a bitch, lol. nevermind . . .

I am soooooooooooooo relieved that SAT's and the quarter are over - though I did terribly in both areas i believe . . . ugh! i can't WAIT until vacation . . . it's so hard to wait! i drove people! yes, that's right! people! i'm very proud of myself for not driving off the road or anything. i'm mighty! okay, i also seem to be delirious b/c i've had a busy, busy day. i think i'm gonna head to bed . . . this is such a pathetic entry, but . . . . deal with it. ha!

yeah, so, SATs are coming up . . . would someone like to kill me now? anyways . . . i was reading about strategy and stuff and it advices to do something fun and relaxing the night before . . . how can i relax? suggestions? also, guess who has full driving rights tomorrow, bitches?! that's right! ME! lol

"LET THE DRUMMER KICK, LET THE DRUMMER KICK DAT!" hehehe

when people want to let someone know something important, they should just say it. ^ addie's piece of advice for the day don't IMPLY!!!!!!!!!!! it's really cruel and ambiguous!