Never have I seen so much change. So uncertain about the future but excited at the same time. THINGS I HAVE LEARNED BEING HOME: People in Yorba Linda are alcoholics Driving is amazing Home cooking is so good I miss my dog more than anything in the world

i miss christmas...it just hasn't been the same lately.

Don't be fooled by what someone tells you today. Use your intuition and read between the lines or you will make a mistake, causing a rift with someone special. Travel will be your best bet if you want to avoid the turmoil at home. travel...i want to go to new york. i hear its wonderful around this time of year.

I really miss being able to call a friend up and go to starbucks and have talks. At the beginning of the year i really hated this place. but i love it here...i really do. i just haven't made any real friends yet. i heard a new term this weekend. "proximty friends"...thats what i have here. they're all great people but i don't see myself being friends with any of them for the rest of my life. i just need to go home and have caramel apple cider with a friend. 5 more days...it'll be good.

It's so different. I love it here though. I went home last weekend and it was nothing like I expected. It's just not "home" anymore. Everyone has pretty much moved out. Although driving my car and blasting Jack's Mannequin was the best feeling I have ever felt. I definitely miss driving.

So this summer...pretty dern good i must say. Just like last summer I'm doing a whole lot of nothing, but its a lot of good nothing. its WAYYYY different but i like it. last night was fun. we all went to the park and played volleyball with a handball. the best part was cameron christophers slamming the ball into brandon vriens' face. that and brandon drinking the bubble thingy and his tongue getting numb. ive known brandon for about 11 years now...and that was one of the few times ive hung out with him. i got to know him pretty well in Every 15 Minutes. I wish i got to know him better the last 11 years. AUGUST 27...move in day. so weird to think of that. me and kim already plan on having dinner the first sunday that we're there. im so glad i have alison and kim to be in san diego with me. its going to be the best years of my life. i hope... i was thinking today...what's it going to be like this time next year? i can only hope that im still friends with my friends. theyre such good people. you think high school can change you? how about college? my friends are going everywhere across this state/country becoming new people. im going to change for sure. how much will change by the time we get home for thanksgiving? christmas? i hope things only change for the better. i hope i can look back on this entry in a couple months and say that im happy with who i am and i still have my friends. 2005 summer...awesome.

so high school is over? wow...its been over 2 weeks and it still amazes me. I went down to San Diego yesterday for the Warped Tour. I can't believe that I'm going to be living there in less than 2 months. It's exciting/scary. I think im going to the swap meet tomorrow. I love that place. There's nothing else to do on a saturday morning. Tuesday is me and alison's friendship anniversary. haha i dont know how i remember. Actually i do...it was the day after 4th of july we started hanging out. So crazy how much things can change in less than a year. So to make a long story short...went to the movies, saw riley outside, bros wanted to beat up riley, riley drove off and bro got hurt, other bro got pissed, bro went up to dennis, dennis got punched, dennis got mad, cops came, fuck bros. I guess itll be another story to tell about this summer. This summer is pretty good so far. A bit uneventful but very relaxing.

Well life is pretty dull. SAN DIEGO STATE wut wut!!! I'm going to be an aztec for another 4 years. Shawn Mead is gonna be my roomate too. The next 4 years should be way tizight. Hmm...I saw Amityville Horror. here's a tip...DONT MOVE INTO A HOUSE WHERE A WHOLE FAMILY WAS MURDERED. Anyways...prom is coming up and i still dont have a date. Im sure ill find one. I hope my senior prom is fun. Sit D is sooooooooo sophomore year. Sit D and melodramatic. I cant believe its been 2 years since i started going on these things. I guess the new cool thing is myspace. I really hope thatll die soon. yes i have one...but its practically jaymz's myspace with my name and pic on it. I think myspace's main purpose is for people to take pics of themselves and have people write things like "omg you're so awesome". Oh well...whatever floats your boat. does anyone know where i can play a show? dont say java joe's cause that will be me playing while everyone talks. I have no problem with that but i wanna find something new.

hey i just finished my cd! go to this link to listen to it =) www.purevolume.com/dennispham

Wow, interesting comments on the last entry. Keep in mind that i wrote that thing like over 2 months ago. But anyways, Im good now. YES I KNOW that a lot of it was my fault too, i never said it wasnt. The thing is that...im content now. Ive got a few good friends that i know will last. i know who they are and they know who i am. As for any of you who think that i hate you, i really dont...its just that i dont like "school relationships". Would you rather be fake? For all i know...you're probably not too fond of me. But hey...im fine with that. Its life. Ive rebuilt some friendships so im happy about that. SAN DIEGO STATE...im pretty sure that is my destination. I'll call it home for the next 4 years. At first i wasn't so excited, but now i really am. A lot of my good friends will be close by and im going to be on my own in college. My dog's not doing too well =( He's got some kind of an ear imbalance? He tils his head and he can't walk straight. He's 16 years old and this is the first time there's something wrong with him. He'll be ok...hes hxc. Comment...love/hate? I'll let you choose. P.S. I'm playing at Creative Impulse this thursday. If you want come and listen!

Well tonight I actually hung out with Tristin. I don't think ive hung out with her since before summer. We went to starbucks and then went to her house and we looked at all of her pictures. I really miss her. Its amazing to see how much has changed within the last two years. You know there was once a time when I was actually happy. Im sick of being so down all the time. I really do need a break from here. Don't get me wrong, i love this place but i just need to leave. Hopefully i get into Santa Barbara or Santa Cruz. Those pictures really made me sad cause I used to actually like my friends. I AM GOING TO LIST ALL OF THE FRIENDS I HAVE LOST...jared, mike, eddie, eric, tristin, jen, kami, brandon, courtney, kevin, frank, peter...the list goes on. Im gonna try to rebuild a few of those friendships. But really, I don't like a lot of the people on that list. I like a certain few but thats it. The rest...im sorry but you're lame, pathetic, and big fucking hypocrits. Ill say it to your face if you want me to. I know it sounds that i like to judge and that i think im so perfect and blah blah blah...trust me, i dont think that. I have no problem hanging out with any of those people above, there's a reason why i used to be friends with them. Ive just accepted everything. High school was/is an experience. I dont regret anything, i just wish things could've been better FINAL THOUGHT: im an emo kid

Only a little over 6 months till graduation. I honestly can't wait. Looking back on the past 3 years I realize how many people I've lost. I can only think of about 3 people I will keep in touch with. For some reason I think im going to lose them too. In my last year of high school I have lost the most friends. Should I even call them friends? I just hung out with them a lot. Some of them I just talked to. We all say "ya we'll keep in touch" but we all know that its not true. I don't think ive ever felt more lonely during xmas. I guess it's a trend, someone says that theyre feeling lonely and I guess you feel lonely too. They say that more people are depressed over the holidays. I'm not depressed, i just feel...weak? I dont know, i cant really explain it. Walking through school, I see everyone that i used to be friends with. I see everyone who i hate. I just want to be content. Yes...i've pushed away friends. Yes...friends have pushed me away. Just who do they think they are? Theyre so much better yet they dont even know what theyve become. Hopefully I get into Santa Barbara, then i can come back here every few weeks and actually enjoy being here. About 8 more months till a new start.

im really bad at updating. but im kind of against writing about my personal life on the internet enabling other people to see. personally i think its really stupid. but since im writing i guess im a hypocrit. hellogoodbye is tomorrow. that should be really fun. that and a select few are the only things to look forward to. i really can't wait till graduation. to be honest...i really dont like my friends. Its pretty obvious who i dont like. so if ur reading this and ur offended...fuck off. at least christmas is coming. it's only the best time of the year. i dont know who or what to get anyone. last saturday was the acoustic show at java joe's. it was really fun and it had a good turnout. even though no one paid attention i still had a good time. ok 7 months till graduation and 8 months till europe. heck yes.

Ok its time to sum up the summer. It seriously was the best summer ever. Alot of people say that but I really mean it, this summer was what i needed. This is my list of best things this summer, in no particular order. ALC and hanging out with steph EVERYDAY and enjoying every second of it bachelor party(ill never forget it) beach with andrew, bucky, kim, C, and julie Fenix Tx and Hellogoodbye show hanging out with andrew and justin every day sinai beach show all of the bonfires, including the ones that didnt happen becoming friends or better friends with justin, alison, andrew, courtney, steph and her family slumber party at justin's slumber party at my house(im never doing it again though) slumber party at josh's every single time i hung out with kim saving april shows getting the woody at its a grind...haha woody princess diaries 2 ok i think thats my list...let me know if i forgot something. This summer started off a little rough but then became so awesome and ended awesome. Im going to miss it but im excited for this school year. It should be fun. Thank you to all my friends for the best summer of my life.

I dont even know how to start. Everything is just so.....I cant even describe it. I found myself reading all the little notes in my yearbooks,every one of them since elementary school. It's just kind of weird when you see what someone wrote in your yearbook and now you dont even talk to them. Or just how different things are now. It's just not the greatest feeling when you see how many friends you've pushed away or friends that pushed me away. I even read all my sit D and melo entries. Remember melo? www.melodramatic.com/users/rightshoe I havent updated it since my "birthday" last year. The majority of all my entries are pretty stupid/depressing. Right now...i guess i feel confused? Just dont know what im gonna do. Ever get that feeling when u wake up and ask urself what am i gonna do with my life? Looking at all my yearbooks and entries still make me wonder what i did wrong. Cant exactly learn from ur mistakes when u dont know what u did. Im feeling so...lost/confused/alone/nostalgic. Man Im such an emo kid.

Well tonight...I saw the Princess Diaries 2. All I can say is...I need to find my own princess. I need to meet Anne Hathaway someday and confess my love for her. Me and Kim missed the beginning cause we went to the wrong screen at first. It was like in the middle and we were like wtf? Good movie though. Kim got a VW Bug. I feel very feminine in it, but it cool. ASB camp! That was pretty fun. I've realized how awesome cold drinks, my shower, my bed, air conditioning, and mirrors are. I don't think im much of a camper. Any of you see the meteor showers? I swear they looked like fireworks. It's so awesome. Its funny cause before the meteor shower, ive only seen 3 shooting stars in my whole life, and theyve all been this summer. I guess this summer is just special. Im sure it is. FENIX TX AND HELLOGOODBYE this saturday!!!! Pop Punk for life!!! oh ya, and hardcore is FAMILY!!!! ya ive been updating lately, ive got nothing else to do late at night when im not tired. I might as well document this summer.

ok...ya it really has been a while. i don't even know how to start. THIS SUMMER HAS BEEN THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE. That's all i can pretty much say. It started off a little rough but oh man did it get better. I've done a whole lot of nothing but so much. All of you know andrew(indrew) i assume. Well, he left back for indiana...just for a while. He'll be back. But in the short amount of time i've known him, ive made myself another dear friend. The funny thing is that I used to hate him before i met him. Well, not hate...just disliked. Why? I have no idea. He proved me wrong though. When scott left justin's party. this enormous amount of regret came over me. we didn't get to hang out much and i felt like shit. He'll be back. No regrets next time. Princess Diaries 2 comes out in 6 days! Ive been waiting like 3 years for this. I'm gonna watch it with kim. I'll probably cry cause its going to be so good. HTT...hmmm. Well we're writing. I wrote a new acoustic song that i played at justin's party. ya it was pretty bad but oh well. New cd and new name probably by sept. A show in berkely in sept too. Sept 17th? something like that. Then we're going to Indiana for xmas! Now that will be fun. ok what else do i write. oh ya! ASB camp august 9th!! man im excited. i get to bond with new people. ok umm...have fun with the rest of summer. I will.

ya sorry i haven't been updating. im pretty sure no one looks at it anymore. ok a lot has happened in the last month. went to knotts, saw the ataris, nightfall and atreyu(wanted to see nightfall) we havent had band practice in so long. but here are our next shows... may 7th: the attic, with other deke bands and possibly saving april may 21: yorba linda battle of the bands, please come support may 29: all about coffee in corona with bedlam and a few others. DENNIS HAS A DATE TO PROM. yup, i asked brittany to prom yesterday. she pulled up behind my car, and i popped open my trunk and had a poster hanging down asking her to prom. i feel very lucky to go with her. she's an amazing person with an amazing voice. and...yayyy dennis has a date to prom. well everything else in life stinks. ive learned from my mistakes and i know ill make better decisions next time. time just needs to roll by faster so i can be myself again. things will be better...i hope. all right, ill probably update next year or something. good day.

sorry i havent updated. its just been a long couple of weeks. things have changed i guess the band is doing pretty good. our show went pretty well. the placed was packed with about 400 people. it was a good show. thanks to everyone who came out, i know these shows get old since u have buy so many tickets, i hate it too. i really dont like high school. at the moment, life is overrated. i cant stand it. i look at the past and wonder if the decisions i made were worth it. ya ive had some fun...but i dont know anymore. when high school is over, i dont think im gonna look back at it in a good way. i have a good friend thats moving away. i just want to let her know that i love her and that i will always be there for her. i respect every decision that you make and i know that everything is going to be fine. just remember that you will always have a home here and when you come back, there will be a welcome with all of your friends behind it. be safe, be happy, and take care. love dennis

well we have our cd release show tomorrow. hopefully all of u can go? thatd be nice. our website is up www.heretillthursday.com ehhh ill update more later.