it's tough falling for your friend's ex-boyfriend. it's tough thinking you're in love with him. it's tough going out for over a year and then breaking up with him. it's tough trying to move on.
it's hard knowing he's back with her. it's hard knowing he invited her over saturday night. it's hard thinking about whether they sat on his bedroom floor and watched a movie, like we used to do. it's hard wondering whether they ate his mom's pasta, my favorite. and i wonder whether he cleaned his room of me. whether he put away the gifts i gave him that he so proudly displayed on his desk. what he did with that picture of us that he used to cry over when things went wrong and he just wanted me. whether he deleted the pictures of me on his desktop, or just moved them to a hidden file where he could look at them alone. whether he still thinks about me. whether he still loves me like he said he always would. or if he broke all those promises he made a year ago. or if he even cares anymore. or if it was never me, but always her.
love [or lack thereof] sucks.