How is it you can be with someone and yet feel so alone? I stare at the ceiling sometimes hoping i will find answers to that question as pretend my fan is spinning. You say relationships aren't just about the affection, well its at least 50 percent. When i approach you with my problems, my body loses all control as i dread and become scare of what you might say. I shake to an extreme and can't help but cry. You think i over react, but i just can't help it. I want to feel loved in everyway possible. I know i don't ask much but you make me feel like i ask the world. You look at me with the blank expressionless face. And yet i want you to react in someway different then shutting me out. You sit there as the day goes by in your own little peter pan world, not caring about anything serious, and sometimes i wonder if you ever care if you might lose me. but i don't think you do, cause you act like you have me wrapped around your finger and i suppose you do. And part of me hates that. I love you more than you could possibly ever love me, whether you want to admit it. Its okay though, cause you don't have to cause i know. Being around you calms me but yet sometimes just being there isn' enough, you have to show me you care and well you do and you dont. You have changed in little ways for me that i appreciate and anytime you ever kiss me and wrap your arms around me, the biggest smile comes across my face. if you give me nothing else in life but just held me and never let go, i would be content. But you don't. i do everything in the world for you, too much really and sometimes the way you act when i ask something of you...well it hurts more then you could possibly imagine. You say i'm an intense person and that the problems i have, other people wouldn't and it wouldn't be like this with other people, and you say you know tons of people that would never date me and only see me as a piece of ass, but i would never date those people anyway,so i just sit there looking at you. i don't care what other people think of me, but what you think matters and you make me feel like sometimes you really don't think much of me. I can't trust you anymore, because you broke me in ways, i'm ashamed of myself to say you have done, and my heart is weak and bleeding from were you stabbed me. The pain i feel about this, i learned to block out, but when i truly think of what you did, it hurts in ways i can't describe. My lungs close up and i can not longer speak. The only thing that breaks the surface is tears the feel like acid.