Unbearable Pain...the kind of pain where you know your heart is bleeding and you can swear that you can feel every drop as it leaks out. A constant pain that remains in your chest even when your not thinking about what bothers you. When will it go away? Is the number one question that sits in the back of your mind as you try to fake happiness and choke down the greatly painful memories. How long is it suppose to take for someone to get over a past love? I'm seriously messed up and the even more messed up part is i was the one that broke up with him and he is better off then me, i'm convinced this is what he wanted, cause he isn't fighting for our relationship and he seems perfectly happy. Acts speak louder then words and he doesn't say much. I asked if there was any hidden pain, and if what i was seeing was some kind of mask and well its not. The truth is right in front of my face and that is that he has moved on. I just wish i didn't care and could move on that fast. It would be nice to not have this constant pain deep in my chest. I would do anything in the world just to have what used to be but since that isn't possible and is never going to happen, i'm trying with everything i got just to get over it. I'm training myself not to think. I'm reminding myself just to breath. I'm forcing myself just to eat. I stay up late just so i can fall asleep I'm keeping myself busy and trying to live as i run on energy that doesn't exist. And while I wear a mask that makes me laugh and smile, in the back of my mind i wonder which will come first? True happiness or me collasping in the floor. My body cant run like this forever so i'm hoping this pain in my heart will disappear and happiness will follow shortly after.