-How many girlfriends or boyfriends have told you they love you? 6 -Have you ever thought that you were going to marry a person? yes acually -Are you crushin' on anyone right now? kinda...its complicated -Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? yes i hurt everyday -Are you happier single or in a relationship? depends sometimes single sometimes in a relationship -Have you ever been cheated on? yes -What is your favorite thing(s) about the opposite sex? depends on the girl -Have you ever had your heart broken? yeah amazingly its my fault and hasnt heal'd yet -Have you ever broken someone's heart? yes and i regret it every day -Talk to any of your ex's? at the moment only 1 but i dont have a problem talking to my x's -If you could go back in time and change things, would you? yes...but only from january till now and id change alot -Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?: yeah but i can have my moments -Have you dated people who were not good to you? yes! who hasnt? -Have you been in an abusive relationship? yeah but it was equaly abusive(not physical abuse just mental and emotional)i would never hit a girl(unless she had a gun then its on like donkey kong -Have you dated someone older than you? yeah but only by a couple a months -younger? yeah a couple years younger -Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends on what they did to screw things up the first time -Believe in love at first sight? no but i do believe that you know it when you meet your soul mate. mayeb not right away but soon enough -Ever been given an engagement ring? nope -Do you want to get married? yes just not right now -Do you have something to say to any of your ex's? ummmmm heather.....your a bitch a confusing one at that. but you can be careing undersatanding when you want to and thats what i love about you. and why i think im still so much in love with you -Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend? yeah but i dont mess with chicks with b/f's -Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? ummm you know about the holocaust, how bad it was. well take that and make it 20 times worse and turn it into nothing but pain and your really close to how it feels.

My Perception of Love To fall in love is one of those things everyone wishes for and dreams about. The greatest feeling, the greatest blessing god has to offer. But no one expects it happen when it does. Also no one plans on loosing the one they fall in love with. When that happens love becomes the opposite of wishes and dreams. It becomes a curse. Cause once you love someone you can’t choose to not love that person anymore. It then goes from a blessing from god to a curse from the devil. Especially when it’s your fault you lost that person. On top of that you have to live with that burden for the rest of your life. Wishing every second of everyday that they’d give you a second chance and make life a little easier to live. But even if they do you still have to live with the fear of loosing them again because of something your going to do. So no matter what happens, after you love someone and lose them even if you eventually get them back love will always be a curse for you, forever, till the day you die…..and who knows maybe even after that. - Seth Blizzard

A FUCKING PRIVATE ENTRY IS SET TO PRIVET FOR A FUCKING REASON! ITS NOT MENT FOR NEONE ELSE TO SEE OR FUCKING TALK ABOUT SO IF YOU CAN READ PRIVATE ENTRYS ON HERE THEN KEEP WAT YOU READ TO YOU FUCKING SELF CAUSE ALL YOU DOING IS CAUSEING MEANINGLESS DRAMA. SO DO US ALL A FAVOR AND QUIT BEING A FUCKING DUMB BITCH AND KEEP SHIT TO YOURSELF THAT YOU READ. OR JUST DONT FUCKING READ IT. GO TO FUCKING HELL

Quicksand-when life seems to be going fine and everything is okay all of a sudden that one problem that you never saw coming smacks you in the face and onto the ground; you try to get back on your feet and pull yourself back up off the ground but all of a sudden you can't do anything right. Everything you do just becomes one mistake after another compounding on each other. No matter what you do things just get worse and worse and you sink deeper and deeper into your churning hole of problems. QUICKSAND

i got a fucking reckless driving ticket today on my way home from school aint that a bitch now i have to be in court on dec 5th at 11am

Came across some new info today, which was very enlightning and if its true i will be forced to stop talking to and stop hanging out with this someone. the only thing i can say is make your decisions wisely and DO NOT do something out of jealously or hate youll regret it in the end. neone that reads this i am not telling who told me wat or about who it is about. the person this is to will know when they read it.

if theres one thing i want right now, its for everyone to leave me alone about heather. just quit asking. all your doing is causeing problems with everything. everyone seems to be mad at everyone latley and no one really even knows why everyones mad. as much as i want to be with heather, id rather her be happy and with everyone always asking questions stirring up shit for no reason. reapeating stuff they shouldnt its not possible. so plz just leave her alone about it shes made up her mind and i respect that and everyone else needs to do the same. and while your at it leave me alone about it to talking about it just makes it harder to deal with.

haah bet you thought this would be about you! but your wrong. i wanna know what everyone thinks about me. dont lie be honest tell me exactly wat you think of me. I wanna know who my friends are and who i shouldnt talk to nemore or at least watch wat i say around them. I dont like it when people dont like me and i dont know what i did to them. so tell me that to if you ahve a problem with me. i wanna know wat i did. so everyone that reads this tell me wat you think of me and if i did do nething to offend you or w/e thell me what it was.

first i had to do this for stacey now i have to pretend im luke so this stawlker will leave kacy alone. SECOx804: are you dumb SECOx804: i told you not to talk to her STONECOLDBRETT: um this is not brett SECOx804: ok then who just imed kacy? STONECOLDBRETT: um this is his cousin SECOx804: ok well your cousin brett is stawlking kacy and im getting pissed cause shes my g/f and he needs to leave her alone bore he gets his self into trouble SECOx804: ive been as nice as i can SECOx804: but my patcience is wearing thin STONECOLDBRETT: well then why did she tell brett she did not have a bf ? SECOx804: she didnt 4 weks ago SECOx804: weeks SECOx804: or maybe like 3 STONECOLDBRETT: last month and then when he asked her out she said yes SECOx804: somethin liek that SECOx804: bullshit SECOx804: ive read there convos on here and theres nothin like that SECOx804: and her cousin has lisened to all of there convos and he said nothin like that was said SECOx804: i think he has a mental condition and needs to go to the doctor SECOx804: but onething that needs to happen is he needs to leave her alone SECOx804: cause her mom is getting pissed cause he wont leave her alone and shes going to end up filing for a restraining order and get him locked up STONECOLDBRETT signed off at 11:37:17 PM.

so we had a much needed talk last night and were just friends now. i was a lil depressed last night but im not sure why. but im good now, id rather be friends than hate each other. at least this ways give some(not very much) but some. ok well im coughing so ad i can hardly type so l8r

well i got burnt so bad yesterday that i couldnt even go to work today. speaking of yesterday i did yet another stupid thing but it dont matter nemore all i can do now is try and get over everything ands go on being me. its going to be one of the hardest things ive done. but wat dont kill ya only makes ya stronger. right?

after tomarrow i have 1 week of work left. then im going back to indy for a week then ill have a week off before school starts but i have to take my placement test the 7th. ok thats all for now l8r

no heather im not posting this to try and get you to change your mind or nething but this is in a way what i was trying to say. Nickelback Far Away This time, This place Misused, Mistakes Too long, Too late Who was I to make you wait Just one chance Just one breath Just in case there's just one left 'Cause you know, you know, you know [CHORUS] I love you I loved you all along And I miss you far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance 'Cause with you, I'd withstand All of hell to hold your hand I'd give it all I'd give for us Give anything but I won't give up 'Cause you know, you know, you know [CHORUS] I love you I loved you all along And I miss you far away for far too long I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore So far away, So far away Been far away for far too long So far away, So far away Been far away for far too long But you know, you know, you know I wanted I wanted you to stay 'Cause I needed I need to hear you say That I love you I have loved you all along And I forgive you For being away for far too long So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore, Believe it, Hold on to me and never let me go. Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore, Believe it, Hold on to me and never let me go... Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore, Believe it, Hold on to me and never let me go... Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore, Believe it, Hold on to me and never let me go...

yeah sooooooo im out of ideas and i guess i should just took heather to the movies alone but w/e its all said and done and were just friends. so neway i think ima just stay single for a while, a long while cause i just am not good when it comes to relationships and im tired of hurting people and at the same time getting hurt. but its all my own fault so i have no one to be mad at but myself. well thats all for now so l8r

I thought something might be changing, but i guess not. I'm so close to giving up, but not of my own freewill. It's just kinda happening. thats all for now l8r

i feel like shit and i know exactly why and wats causeing it but i have no control over it what so ever and wat it is dont even realize its making my life hell right now. but im not going to say nemore cause im mad sad pissed i really dont know how i feel right now so ima quit talking l8r

Have you ever thought about one particular person so much in one day it’s affected your ability to do anything at all? I have I got yelled at for being to slow at work the other day because one particular person was one my mind for 3 outta every 5 seconds of the day. I know ive put this person threw alot of over the past couple months. And ive been threw alot since January. There’s been alot of death in my life since January and I guess from what people have told me, ive been being mean and hateful. But those of you that really know me know that really isn’t me. I guess you could call it a shell that ive trapped myself in to try and protect myself from getting hurt or being too vulnerable. I don’t know much about morning the dead so I guess this could be my way of morning or my way of trying to hide from reality. But reality has come back and hit me right smack in the face. I knew somewhere inside me that this would happen one day. That everything ive done would come back to bitch slap me sooner or later. And well it has just recently. And for those of you that don’t understand let me explain. Ill just start from the beginning of school.......ok first I went out with Casey....3weeks nothing special....then heather.....less than a day......then I talked to Jamie and Makayla a-lot but didn’t ever go out with them..........then heather again........ About a month and I made my first mistake here. I broke up with her. I really don’t know what I was thinking. Things weren’t that bad. I just couldn’t stand us fighting al the time.......anyway on with this.......then Makayla........about a month and then I broke up with her cause I didn’t want a g/f anymore.......or so I told her that........but the truth is that well there’s 2 reasons......mistake number 2.......I cheated on Makayla with Jamie on prom night after I took Makayla home........and the second reason was that I still loved heather and couldn’t stop thinking about her when me and Makayla were together I still thought about heather. It was actually kind of weird. This had never happened to me..........then mistake number 3.............Nikki.........we talked but never went out.......I stayed at her house one night (her mom unaware of this) but nothing serious happened mainly just cuddled and made out.......ok I know there’s a lot more ill mistake I’ve made in there to hurt heather and to be honest the last couple months of my life have seemed like kind of a fantasy dream with a bad ending. That I can’t remember most of. Anyone who knows the story can add the events I missed with comments. I don’t know why but over the past couple months I was trying to replace heathers spot in my heart with someone else. But it couldn’t be nor can it ever be done. And I don’t know what happened, if it was Dustin’s party or just being around heather again that made me realize this..... But the worst part of me is that I'm afraid I had this epiphany to late and heather is no longer within my reach, and i’m trapped yet again, behind a glass wall where I can see perfectly what and who I want but cant get to it. There’s only one door and only one person that can let me out of this room. But like I said I fear i’m to late and she truly is over me for now and forever! ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ to heather, I know your tired of my "same old bullshit" and "i’m sorry" don’t cut it anymore. So tell me after you read this if this is still the same old shit or something new, cause I feel different about you now......................here goes.......... You’re the only one i've ever thought about so much I sometimes forget to breath. The only one no matter what I can't lie to. The only one that has ever made me feel better just by the sound of your voice and seeing you’re near me. The only one that I could careless if we stay together and grow old and die together and never do anything more than kiss. You’re the only one who can seem to get threw to me when i’m in my shell hiding from the world. Your the only one that I regret breaking up with, I regret it so much it make my heart hurts thinking about what we could of been if I hadn’t been such a jackass. Even now my body aches as well as my heart because I’m afraid that if I wait any longer that my last chance will be gone never to return. Heather I love you more than you’ll ever know. I know you’ve questioned my love for you the past couple months but I’m telling you here, now that ill do whatever it takes to make things right again. I know it’s going to be tough for me to do this but it’s something I feel I have and need to do so that I can feel good about myself again. Everyone tell me I’m wasting my time with you. They always have and I always don’t listen to them. And when they tell me again that I’m wasting my time I’m going to tell them its time well wasted. I’m not talking to Nikki, Jamie, Makayla, or any other girl. Please tell me how I can start making things right. Im honestly lost and don’t know where to start because I have so much to make up for. Never before have I ever felt this way about anyone… Incase it hasn’t hit you yet what I’ve been trying to say I’ll just go a head and say it… You’re the only one for me. P.S. I Love You

yo i started work yesterday. im makin 12 bucks a hour. YAY!!!!! im workin at the same company my dad and brother work at and soon me and my brother will be on the same job.....fun fun......neway its colonial web that where i work and im at the new court house hang'n duct. well im tired from today so l8r

heathers party at her grandparents was awsome. i got to finally meet nikki. i had loads of fun but my feet hurt realy bad cause i was running around with out shoes on all day. the girls there got the idea to go to the store and get silly string and water baloons. well we found out there plan and spoiled it. instead of sneaking up on us and getting us wet we jumped in the pool and had noodle fights in the shollow end aka the noodle arena. lol neway we filled up 8 condoms and some water bottle and snuk around when they got back and got them. i didnt get home till 3am. neway thats it for now l8r

detectivezim: hey SECOx804: hey detectivezim: how did you see that i was having a great day on friday? detectivezim: you weren't even there... SECOx804: i read about it detectivezim: oh on my sitdiary.... SECOx804: yep detectivezim: so wats up SECOx804: not much SECOx804: just filling out some things on myspace SECOx804: u? detectivezim: wildlife journal... which is rockin btw SECOx804: nice detectivezim: yep... it's only 5 pages long so far SECOx804: only? detectivezim: yeah it's like a scrapbook... it's taking me forever... detectivezim: but like i said... it ROX SECOx804: ah gotcha SECOx804: haveing fun detectivezim: yep detectivezim: still there SECOx804: yep detectivezim: k detectivezim: what to talk about.... SECOx804: dunno detectivezim: ? game? SECOx804: ok SECOx804: you first detectivezim: umm detectivezim: do you forgive julie at all now? SECOx804: kinda but not really SECOx804: cause thats was low and stupid detectivezim: yeah i know... SECOx804: do you think i should, what do you think about the situation? detectivezim: i think it was low, but she did have a dad that died from it... i still would never even think of doing shit like that... i don't throw my dad's out the window b/c he treats us like shit without them SECOx804: lol SECOx804: u turn detectivezim: if you could change one thing that you did in the past, what would it be? SECOx804: honestly i wouldnt change my past because the shit i went through then is keeping me outta shit now detectivezim: no mistakes that you would change? SECOx804: not really SECOx804: r u trying to get somethin outa me? detectivezim: no i just think that no one has that good of a life detectivezim: i have a lot of things that i would change SECOx804: im not saying it was good SECOx804: im saying that if i wouldnt of made the mistakes in my past i would be making them now detectivezim: trur detectivezim: truw detectivezim: true detectivezim: damn detectivezim: ok ur turn SECOx804: ok ummmmmm SECOx804: ....... detectivezim: ............... SECOx804: wat would you say if i said im starting to like jamie again? detectivezim: i'd say "what about makayla" SECOx804: i still like her alot but i dunno somethins different now and im not sure wat it is detectivezim: i noticed detectivezim: you don't hang around her anymore. you're always talking to me SECOx804: yeah im always talking to everyone but her SECOx804: and julie detectivezim: that is a little strange SECOx804: i dunno wat it is either detectivezim: she doesn't seem like your type detectivezim: she's rele immature too. she sits at our lunch table and hangs all over those girls like she's a lesbian and sings the oscar meyer song lol SECOx804: yeah shes a lil different detectivezim: lol SECOx804: and yeah she is a lil immature detectivezim: yep... detectivezim: so what now SECOx804: theres also another reason im driffting away from her but i dont think ima tell you cause for one youd be pissed at me and 2 i dont think youd talk to me detectivezim: ok SECOx804: .......... detectivezim: so if you get jamie, after she said you couldn't have her after what you did with me, then is it going to be like you said? SECOx804: honestly i dont know SECOx804: i dont want it to be like that detectivezim: well if she's anything like you said she was... and i know you. idk. i'm just giving some advise here SECOx804: she was wat? SECOx804: and im thinking it would be best if i just dont have a girl friend for a while detectivezim: when we were going out i asked you if you thought you and jamie would be going out, and you said no, because she's gone through 3 b/fs in the last month and you would just fuck and that would be that.... SECOx804: oh yeah she is like that SECOx804: but shes goes through guys that are well umm the how to put it detectivezim: ... SECOx804: ok i know you think im a asshole SECOx804: but the guys she typicly goes for are way worse than me and dont treat women very well SECOx804: not the type to beat but like treat them like peices of flesh or property detectivezim: yeah that makes sense detectivezim: so why don't you want a g/f for a while SECOx804: it to complicated for me right now cause i really dont know what i want detectivezim: what does that mean SECOx804: i mean me and you started drifting and now me and makayla are doing that and i just realized that its because i only concentrated on the things i like about both of you and now the whole you SECOx804: does that make ne sence detectivezim: what? SECOx804: ok lets take you for example detectivezim: ok SECOx804: when i started likeing you i didnt take into concideration you as a person i only was thinking and seeing the things i liked about you detectivezim: like my appearace or whatever? SECOx804: kinda SECOx804: your on the right track detectivezim: ....? SECOx804: ok i liked your appearence and most things about you but i didnt take into conciderations how well umm innocent you are and how that would effect things detectivezim: in case you haven't noticed... i'm not very innocent anymore SECOx804: you really dont know how innocent you are until your in a situation where it shows its self SECOx804: if you know what i mean detectivezim: i have. i almost went out with this guy after we broke up... i was being held back tho SECOx804: ............? detectivezim: oh i'm not telling you who SECOx804: thats not what im asking SECOx804: held back how? detectivezim: i had just broken up with you... you don't even realize.... 7 months of flirting and then we finally went out and after we broke up you acted like i didn't exist... SECOx804: oh SECOx804: i know i was a dick detectivezim: yeaah... SECOx804: and i really am sry detectivezim: yeah yeah yeah.... it's all good now tho SECOx804: do you still feel ne of that?? detectivezim: i guess it hurts at times... not that much anymore SECOx804: i know what you mean thats kinda why i didnt talk to you after we broke up SECOx804: brb dog needs out SECOx804: ok baq detectivezim is idle at 11:14:44 PM. Detectivezim2: hey talk to me on here SECOx804: ok Detectivezim2: my dad caught me on my other computer SECOx804: oh Detectivezim2: so where were we.... SECOx804: ummmmm detectivezim: i guess it hurts at times... not that much anymore SECOx804: i know what you mean thats kinda why i didnt talk to you after we broke up Detectivezim2: oh... yeah that makes a little sense SECOx804: yeah a lil but not a lot Detectivezim2: ??? SECOx804: i do things for reasons even i dont know Detectivezim2: like what SECOx804: and that was kinda one of those time Detectivezim2: oh...like the truck thing SECOx804: yeah Detectivezim2: i don't do things like that Detectivezim2: but for a while i felt like you should still be holding me. it took me a while to get used to SECOx804: but that was more habbit and well to be honest i really was feeling withdrawls in sence for your touch Detectivezim2: same SECOx804: i still do at times Detectivezim2: same SECOx804: so wat now? Detectivezim2: who knows SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: i think ima go with the whole dont need a g/f right now Detectivezim2: so are you breaking up with makayla? SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: but plz dont say nething to neone Detectivezim2: do it tomorrow morning so i can see if she cires Detectivezim2: cries* SECOx804: your crule Detectivezim2: she threatened me and julie... i'm sorry but i hate that girl... SECOx804: ??????she did Detectivezim2: yes... she said that we looked at her weird and that she was going to kick our asses. i hope she tries. Detectivezim2: there's no sense in that shit. SECOx804: true but i do recall you dont somethin of the sort SECOx804: but not exactly the same Detectivezim2: what do you mean? SECOx804: when you were talking about jamie and she herd you and then you lied to me about it all lunch till i finnaly got it out of you Detectivezim2: she didn't hear shit Detectivezim2: at least i'm quiet about it SECOx804: ok she suspected you were SECOx804: and she was right Detectivezim2: i've just had a fuck the world attitude towards both of them SECOx804: why jamie she never did nething to you Detectivezim2: yeah i think that's when we were going out and she was looking for you and i said "she needs his crotch so she can use her cell phone" SECOx804: i dont member what you said SECOx804: but why do you hate her so much? Detectivezim2: that is what i said Detectivezim2: and i don't hate her SECOx804: ok why so you dislike her? Detectivezim2: you know what's been going on between me and her SECOx804: i do? SECOx804: ok im really not fallowing SECOx804: following** Detectivezim2: yeah the aim conversations and stuff. SECOx804: oh ok Detectivezim2: how could you think that i like her after that? SECOx804: you shoulda never tried to talk to you and i told you that SECOx804: man ive had this convo before just not with you Detectivezim2: with who SECOx804: jamie SECOx804: it was after we broke up SECOx804: me and you Detectivezim2: oh. right. SECOx804: i basicly told her she had no credable reason to hate you SECOx804: and some other stuff Detectivezim2: and she said... SECOx804: she reminded me how easy it is for her to get jealous SECOx804: and i was like i dont care im not a good enough reason for you to hate someone Detectivezim2: oh. that makes sense SECOx804: and ill tell you the same im not a good enough reason to hate someone and i know your gunna say she was a bitch online SECOx804: and i told you she would be and that it wouldnt turn out pretty SECOx804: brb Detectivezim2: k SECOx804: baq SECOx804: so Detectivezim2: idk SECOx804: i mena your gunna hate her if you want but im telling you you dont have a good reason to SECOx804: mean** Detectivezim2: i kno Detectivezim2: i don't have a problem with her right now. it's been a long time since we talked and i understand why she was mad SECOx804: man tomarrow morning is not gunna be good Detectivezim2: you're looking forward to it?? SECOx804: no i said its not going to be good Detectivezim2: oh Detectivezim2: how are you going to tell her SECOx804: well im just gunna tell her that were drifting apart and i just dont want a girlfriend nemore Detectivezim2: advise... Detectivezim2: don't make a break up mushy and shit SECOx804: do ahead i aint good at this sorta thing Detectivezim2: because they'll turn around and tell everyone that you did that Detectivezim2: THAT'S WHAT YOU DID... so you know where i'm coming from SECOx804: well i cant help but be me Detectivezim2: yeh yeah yeah SECOx804: but how is were drifting apart and i dont want a girlfriend nemore SECOx804: mushy? Detectivezim2: it just is SECOx804: how Detectivezim2: just tell her frank. you don't need an explaination. say "i don't like you anymore. it's over" SECOx804: well i could tell her wat happened prom night Detectivezim2: walk away, and she'll feel like shit and it'll be over. make it mushy and she'll throw it in your face Detectivezim2: if this is a trojan story i do not want to hear it SECOx804: nope didnt go that far SECOx804: staryed above the waste and really didnt go below the neck Detectivezim2: with who? SECOx804: someone Detectivezim2: like jamie? SECOx804: could be....... Detectivezim2: that's.... interesting Detectivezim2: so you're the cheating type.... Detectivezim2: nice to know SECOx804: i really dont know why i did it SECOx804: and im not the happiest person about it SECOx804: and ive been trying to figure out how to tell makayla SECOx804: cause its been weighing heavy on my mind Detectivezim2: you don't have to tell her Detectivezim2: how did it happen anyway? SECOx804: well me her luke and another person were drinking SECOx804: alot SECOx804: and some how me and her ended up on the kitchen floor Detectivezim2: how did she get there SECOx804: i just remember her and luke laughing alot right after i took a shot and the we were on the floor Detectivezim2: with you and luke and all SECOx804: she drove SECOx804: but she wasnt drinking and driving Detectivezim2: right SECOx804: no it was just me and her on the floor SECOx804: luke nded up out side SECOx804: do you wanna know what i remember Detectivezim2: please nothing about you doing nasty shit... i don't care about luke SECOx804: nasty shit is what Detectivezim2: idk Detectivezim2: ok tell me i guess SECOx804: after we were on the floor we scooted closer to the fridge and then she got a beer and after that i kissed her Detectivezim2: is that all SECOx804: then we talked for a while and somehow ended up hand cuffed together Detectivezim2: ok..... SECOx804: and made out the rest of the night and yeah you dont wanna knwo that Detectivezim2: no i was accually thinking that the practice better have done you some good SECOx804: well i had enough ractice with makayla SECOx804: but me and jamie made out different than me and makayla did Detectivezim2: oh really SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: so know im really good in 2 different ways Detectivezim2: i wonder why we never made out... SECOx804: i was scared Detectivezim2: why SECOx804: cause it had been 2 years since the last time i had Detectivezim2: well damn Detectivezim2: you don't know how many times i wanted to but it was awkward SECOx804: i was affraid i would move to fast and freak you out Detectivezim2: that night we kissed the first time i felt like i was ready for anything. and then it wore off SECOx804: well damn it SECOx804: you could of made the first move Detectivezim2: i kno i kno Detectivezim2: i'm so damn insecure SECOx804: you know what insecurity derives from dont you Detectivezim2: what SECOx804: your innocents Detectivezim2: i'm not innocent. i swear to god. even going out with you i had to stop myself from doing certain things... SECOx804: why??????? SECOx804: i was ready to do alot more than what we did and you shoulda known that Detectivezim2: yeah i kno. i don't know why i wouldn't let myself do anything... SECOx804: well it would of got rid of alot of akward moment SECOx804: s Detectivezim2: i kinda wish i would've because of that SECOx804: yeah i really wish you would of atleast told me or gave some sign of wanting to Detectivezim2: yeah well... SECOx804: shit happens SECOx804: normally to me Detectivezim2: idk why i didn't. i think i was afraid of you in a way b/c of what you told me about yourself b4 we went out SECOx804: oh SECOx804: but for the record i really am not the cheating type Detectivezim2: this convo is weird and way out of my boundaries. oh well. too late SECOx804: ???/ SECOx804: why is it outta your boundaries SECOx804: ????/ SECOx804: hello Detectivezim2: idk just the subject SECOx804: how so Detectivezim2: sorry i'm giving brittany and stacey advise at the same time SECOx804: we have to right to talk about whqat went on when we went out SECOx804: ah Detectivezim2: i never thought i would tell you ot anyone else how i really felt SECOx804: i never thought you would either SECOx804: but maybe its a sign that we grown up SECOx804: some Detectivezim2: yeah SECOx804: so do you think things would of been better if one of us woulda made the move to make out that night? Detectivezim2: yeah probably Detectivezim2: u there SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: i was just thinking SECOx804: like normal SECOx804: wats your thoughts on things? Detectivezim2: idk Detectivezim2: u? SECOx804: i think that seens how were lot better friends now and can acually talka bout things that sometime over the summer if we got back together everything would be fine Detectivezim2: maybe idk SECOx804: si the thing with jamie causeing you to lean towards no Detectivezim2: no i'm over worrying about your sex life SECOx804: how can you have a sex life if you havent had sex in 2.5 years Detectivezim2: whatever. it's still sexual. i guess. SECOx804: yeah i guess Detectivezim2: soo SECOx804: soo Detectivezim2: i wish you still lived at those apartments. i liked those walks. SECOx804: yeah those were nice SECOx804: i mena i do live in a neighborhood we could walk through here Detectivezim2: yeah. it's not the same SECOx804: true SECOx804: we could drive over there and walk around SECOx804: lol Detectivezim2: yeah we drove by there today. it brought back memories. SECOx804: of me being dumb Detectivezim2: no.. the memories of the 4 of us at those apartments are the best i've ever had... i miss it. SECOx804: yeah i do miss it to but it wont be the same ever again cause i dont trust julie at all Detectivezim2: it was better without them anyway SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: man talking about this is makeing me have withdrawls Detectivezim2: me too SECOx804: Detectivezim2: **sigh** SECOx804: wat ya thinking about? Detectivezim2: i'm being sad with stacey SECOx804: i made her laugh SECOx804: sad? Detectivezim2: yeah about random stupid things SECOx804: like? Detectivezim2: certain guys SECOx804: like? Detectivezim2: question? SECOx804: wat? Detectivezim2: when you went out with makayla... was there ever the tiniest thought in your mind that you knew it was making me jealous and you liked it? SECOx804: yeah but it didnt last long SECOx804: KissMeCrazy90: rawr KissMeCrazy90: i feel a crap coming on KissMeCrazy90: hmmmmm Detectivezim2: i knew it... because you told julie that you were happy that i was mad at you. SECOx804: i did Detectivezim2: yeah SECOx804: i somewat remember it Detectivezim2: then it must happened SECOx804: but yeah i was happy for a short time SECOx804: but the i started thinking about youi alot for some reason SECOx804: and then wasnt at all happy you were mad at me Detectivezim2: nice to know... SECOx804: really the happy feeling only lasted like a day or 2 Detectivezim2: i wasn't acting out of jealousy. you should know that. i was mad that you were so different, and that you weren't talking to us, and things weren't the same SECOx804: i know SECOx804: i see that know SECOx804: i know ive changed SECOx804: but i wont ever be the same again Detectivezim2: i kno Detectivezim2: that's what made me upset SECOx804: im sry but ive go through a lot this year and it just seems to keep going down hill Detectivezim2: yeah i know Detectivezim2: so SECOx804: ? game again SECOx804: ? Detectivezim2: ok Detectivezim2: you first this time SECOx804: ok SECOx804: wat was your first thought when i told you about me and jamie? Detectivezim2: i was confused and thinking that i thought she said she would never take you back SECOx804: i thought that to SECOx804: and still am confused by that SECOx804: your turn Detectivezim2: what was your first thought when i told you that i almost went out with that guy after i broke up with you SECOx804: i had mixed thoughts SECOx804: i was happy for you but jealous of him Detectivezim2: ur turn SECOx804: do you think if we got back together it would work out? Detectivezim2: there's a chance it wouldn't SECOx804: theres a chance every relationship wont work out SECOx804: i mean compared to how we were Detectivezim2: yeah but ours is exceptional SECOx804: how so? Detectivezim2: because we've both changed so much since then SECOx804: yeah Detectivezim2: what would you do if i found someone SECOx804: be jealous SECOx804: wish i was him SECOx804: and then id probly try to scare him somehoe SECOx804: somehow** Detectivezim2: like how SECOx804: i dunno SECOx804: threten him Detectivezim2: mhm... Detectivezim2: that's low Detectivezim2: lol SECOx804: i know SECOx804: well i dont know how it is for you but it would be really hard for me to watch a girl i love with another guy Detectivezim2: you're complicating everything SECOx804: i know SECOx804: thats what i do Detectivezim2: fo sho SECOx804: lol Detectivezim2: yepp SECOx804: whos turn is it Detectivezim2: yours SECOx804: my lil pony or bob the builder Detectivezim2: oh come on SECOx804: wat Detectivezim2: taht's a sucky question SECOx804: you seem to not really wanna go ne further with this convo so i decided to try and well i dunno SECOx804: ok ummmm SECOx804: ......... SECOx804: why does what i said complicate things? Detectivezim2: because you're making things more awkward Detectivezim2: you should save this convo on your sitdiary SECOx804: is the truth akward to you? Detectivezim2: i got cut off and lost it SECOx804: ok Detectivezim2: no it's just making thinkgs awkward to know how the other feels for some reason SECOx804: well i gess i might feel akward if you acually told me how you feel Detectivezim2: i have SECOx804: in a round about way Detectivezim2: yeah Detectivezim2: it doesn't matter anyway SECOx804: see now that you said im making things akward i cant respond to that statment Detectivezim2: go ahead SECOx804: nope SECOx804: see i lerned while we were going out to watch wat you say cause you ask for answers you dont want Detectivezim2: right. SECOx804: you do SECOx804: neway im goin to bed so nite Detectivezim2: ok Detectivezim2: nite