detectivezim: hey SECOx804: hey detectivezim: how did you see that i was having a great day on friday? detectivezim: you weren't even there... SECOx804: i read about it detectivezim: oh on my sitdiary.... SECOx804: yep detectivezim: so wats up SECOx804: not much SECOx804: just filling out some things on myspace SECOx804: u? detectivezim: wildlife journal... which is rockin btw SECOx804: nice detectivezim: yep... it's only 5 pages long so far SECOx804: only? detectivezim: yeah it's like a scrapbook... it's taking me forever... detectivezim: but like i said... it ROX SECOx804: ah gotcha SECOx804: haveing fun detectivezim: yep detectivezim: still there SECOx804: yep detectivezim: k detectivezim: what to talk about.... SECOx804: dunno detectivezim: ? game? SECOx804: ok SECOx804: you first detectivezim: umm detectivezim: do you forgive julie at all now? SECOx804: kinda but not really SECOx804: cause thats was low and stupid detectivezim: yeah i know... SECOx804: do you think i should, what do you think about the situation? detectivezim: i think it was low, but she did have a dad that died from it... i still would never even think of doing shit like that... i don't throw my dad's out the window b/c he treats us like shit without them SECOx804: lol SECOx804: u turn detectivezim: if you could change one thing that you did in the past, what would it be? SECOx804: honestly i wouldnt change my past because the shit i went through then is keeping me outta shit now detectivezim: no mistakes that you would change? SECOx804: not really SECOx804: r u trying to get somethin outa me? detectivezim: no i just think that no one has that good of a life detectivezim: i have a lot of things that i would change SECOx804: im not saying it was good SECOx804: im saying that if i wouldnt of made the mistakes in my past i would be making them now detectivezim: trur detectivezim: truw detectivezim: true detectivezim: damn detectivezim: ok ur turn SECOx804: ok ummmmmm SECOx804: ....... detectivezim: ............... SECOx804: wat would you say if i said im starting to like jamie again? detectivezim: i'd say "what about makayla" SECOx804: i still like her alot but i dunno somethins different now and im not sure wat it is detectivezim: i noticed detectivezim: you don't hang around her anymore. you're always talking to me SECOx804: yeah im always talking to everyone but her SECOx804: and julie detectivezim: that is a little strange SECOx804: i dunno wat it is either detectivezim: she doesn't seem like your type detectivezim: she's rele immature too. she sits at our lunch table and hangs all over those girls like she's a lesbian and sings the oscar meyer song lol SECOx804: yeah shes a lil different detectivezim: lol SECOx804: and yeah she is a lil immature detectivezim: yep... detectivezim: so what now SECOx804: theres also another reason im driffting away from her but i dont think ima tell you cause for one youd be pissed at me and 2 i dont think youd talk to me detectivezim: ok SECOx804: .......... detectivezim: so if you get jamie, after she said you couldn't have her after what you did with me, then is it going to be like you said? SECOx804: honestly i dont know SECOx804: i dont want it to be like that detectivezim: well if she's anything like you said she was... and i know you. idk. i'm just giving some advise here SECOx804: she was wat? SECOx804: and im thinking it would be best if i just dont have a girl friend for a while detectivezim: when we were going out i asked you if you thought you and jamie would be going out, and you said no, because she's gone through 3 b/fs in the last month and you would just fuck and that would be that.... SECOx804: oh yeah she is like that SECOx804: but shes goes through guys that are well umm the how to put it detectivezim: ... SECOx804: ok i know you think im a asshole SECOx804: but the guys she typicly goes for are way worse than me and dont treat women very well SECOx804: not the type to beat but like treat them like peices of flesh or property detectivezim: yeah that makes sense detectivezim: so why don't you want a g/f for a while SECOx804: it to complicated for me right now cause i really dont know what i want detectivezim: what does that mean SECOx804: i mean me and you started drifting and now me and makayla are doing that and i just realized that its because i only concentrated on the things i like about both of you and now the whole you SECOx804: does that make ne sence detectivezim: what? SECOx804: ok lets take you for example detectivezim: ok SECOx804: when i started likeing you i didnt take into concideration you as a person i only was thinking and seeing the things i liked about you detectivezim: like my appearace or whatever? SECOx804: kinda SECOx804: your on the right track detectivezim: ....? SECOx804: ok i liked your appearence and most things about you but i didnt take into conciderations how well umm innocent you are and how that would effect things detectivezim: in case you haven't noticed... i'm not very innocent anymore SECOx804: you really dont know how innocent you are until your in a situation where it shows its self SECOx804: if you know what i mean detectivezim: i have. i almost went out with this guy after we broke up... i was being held back tho SECOx804: ............? detectivezim: oh i'm not telling you who SECOx804: thats not what im asking SECOx804: held back how? detectivezim: i had just broken up with you... you don't even realize.... 7 months of flirting and then we finally went out and after we broke up you acted like i didn't exist... SECOx804: oh SECOx804: i know i was a dick detectivezim: yeaah... SECOx804: and i really am sry detectivezim: yeah yeah yeah.... it's all good now tho SECOx804: do you still feel ne of that?? detectivezim: i guess it hurts at times... not that much anymore SECOx804: i know what you mean thats kinda why i didnt talk to you after we broke up SECOx804: brb dog needs out SECOx804: ok baq detectivezim is idle at 11:14:44 PM. Detectivezim2: hey talk to me on here SECOx804: ok Detectivezim2: my dad caught me on my other computer SECOx804: oh Detectivezim2: so where were we.... SECOx804: ummmmm detectivezim: i guess it hurts at times... not that much anymore SECOx804: i know what you mean thats kinda why i didnt talk to you after we broke up Detectivezim2: oh... yeah that makes a little sense SECOx804: yeah a lil but not a lot Detectivezim2: ??? SECOx804: i do things for reasons even i dont know Detectivezim2: like what SECOx804: and that was kinda one of those time Detectivezim2: oh...like the truck thing SECOx804: yeah Detectivezim2: i don't do things like that Detectivezim2: but for a while i felt like you should still be holding me. it took me a while to get used to SECOx804: but that was more habbit and well to be honest i really was feeling withdrawls in sence for your touch Detectivezim2: same SECOx804: i still do at times Detectivezim2: same SECOx804: so wat now? Detectivezim2: who knows SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: i think ima go with the whole dont need a g/f right now Detectivezim2: so are you breaking up with makayla? SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: but plz dont say nething to neone Detectivezim2: do it tomorrow morning so i can see if she cires Detectivezim2: cries* SECOx804: your crule Detectivezim2: she threatened me and julie... i'm sorry but i hate that girl... SECOx804: ??????she did Detectivezim2: yes... she said that we looked at her weird and that she was going to kick our asses. i hope she tries. Detectivezim2: there's no sense in that shit. SECOx804: true but i do recall you dont somethin of the sort SECOx804: but not exactly the same Detectivezim2: what do you mean? SECOx804: when you were talking about jamie and she herd you and then you lied to me about it all lunch till i finnaly got it out of you Detectivezim2: she didn't hear shit Detectivezim2: at least i'm quiet about it SECOx804: ok she suspected you were SECOx804: and she was right Detectivezim2: i've just had a fuck the world attitude towards both of them SECOx804: why jamie she never did nething to you Detectivezim2: yeah i think that's when we were going out and she was looking for you and i said "she needs his crotch so she can use her cell phone" SECOx804: i dont member what you said SECOx804: but why do you hate her so much? Detectivezim2: that is what i said Detectivezim2: and i don't hate her SECOx804: ok why so you dislike her? Detectivezim2: you know what's been going on between me and her SECOx804: i do? SECOx804: ok im really not fallowing SECOx804: following** Detectivezim2: yeah the aim conversations and stuff. SECOx804: oh ok Detectivezim2: how could you think that i like her after that? SECOx804: you shoulda never tried to talk to you and i told you that SECOx804: man ive had this convo before just not with you Detectivezim2: with who SECOx804: jamie SECOx804: it was after we broke up SECOx804: me and you Detectivezim2: oh. right. SECOx804: i basicly told her she had no credable reason to hate you SECOx804: and some other stuff Detectivezim2: and she said... SECOx804: she reminded me how easy it is for her to get jealous SECOx804: and i was like i dont care im not a good enough reason for you to hate someone Detectivezim2: oh. that makes sense SECOx804: and ill tell you the same im not a good enough reason to hate someone and i know your gunna say she was a bitch online SECOx804: and i told you she would be and that it wouldnt turn out pretty SECOx804: brb Detectivezim2: k SECOx804: baq SECOx804: so Detectivezim2: idk SECOx804: i mena your gunna hate her if you want but im telling you you dont have a good reason to SECOx804: mean** Detectivezim2: i kno Detectivezim2: i don't have a problem with her right now. it's been a long time since we talked and i understand why she was mad SECOx804: man tomarrow morning is not gunna be good Detectivezim2: you're looking forward to it?? SECOx804: no i said its not going to be good Detectivezim2: oh Detectivezim2: how are you going to tell her SECOx804: well im just gunna tell her that were drifting apart and i just dont want a girlfriend nemore Detectivezim2: advise... Detectivezim2: don't make a break up mushy and shit SECOx804: do ahead i aint good at this sorta thing Detectivezim2: because they'll turn around and tell everyone that you did that Detectivezim2: THAT'S WHAT YOU DID... so you know where i'm coming from SECOx804: well i cant help but be me Detectivezim2: yeh yeah yeah SECOx804: but how is were drifting apart and i dont want a girlfriend nemore SECOx804: mushy? Detectivezim2: it just is SECOx804: how Detectivezim2: just tell her frank. you don't need an explaination. say "i don't like you anymore. it's over" SECOx804: well i could tell her wat happened prom night Detectivezim2: walk away, and she'll feel like shit and it'll be over. make it mushy and she'll throw it in your face Detectivezim2: if this is a trojan story i do not want to hear it SECOx804: nope didnt go that far SECOx804: staryed above the waste and really didnt go below the neck Detectivezim2: with who? SECOx804: someone Detectivezim2: like jamie? SECOx804: could be....... Detectivezim2: that's.... interesting Detectivezim2: so you're the cheating type.... Detectivezim2: nice to know SECOx804: i really dont know why i did it SECOx804: and im not the happiest person about it SECOx804: and ive been trying to figure out how to tell makayla SECOx804: cause its been weighing heavy on my mind Detectivezim2: you don't have to tell her Detectivezim2: how did it happen anyway? SECOx804: well me her luke and another person were drinking SECOx804: alot SECOx804: and some how me and her ended up on the kitchen floor Detectivezim2: how did she get there SECOx804: i just remember her and luke laughing alot right after i took a shot and the we were on the floor Detectivezim2: with you and luke and all SECOx804: she drove SECOx804: but she wasnt drinking and driving Detectivezim2: right SECOx804: no it was just me and her on the floor SECOx804: luke nded up out side SECOx804: do you wanna know what i remember Detectivezim2: please nothing about you doing nasty shit... i don't care about luke SECOx804: nasty shit is what Detectivezim2: idk Detectivezim2: ok tell me i guess SECOx804: after we were on the floor we scooted closer to the fridge and then she got a beer and after that i kissed her Detectivezim2: is that all SECOx804: then we talked for a while and somehow ended up hand cuffed together Detectivezim2: ok..... SECOx804: and made out the rest of the night and yeah you dont wanna knwo that Detectivezim2: no i was accually thinking that the practice better have done you some good SECOx804: well i had enough ractice with makayla SECOx804: but me and jamie made out different than me and makayla did Detectivezim2: oh really SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: so know im really good in 2 different ways Detectivezim2: i wonder why we never made out... SECOx804: i was scared Detectivezim2: why SECOx804: cause it had been 2 years since the last time i had Detectivezim2: well damn Detectivezim2: you don't know how many times i wanted to but it was awkward SECOx804: i was affraid i would move to fast and freak you out Detectivezim2: that night we kissed the first time i felt like i was ready for anything. and then it wore off SECOx804: well damn it SECOx804: you could of made the first move Detectivezim2: i kno i kno Detectivezim2: i'm so damn insecure SECOx804: you know what insecurity derives from dont you Detectivezim2: what SECOx804: your innocents Detectivezim2: i'm not innocent. i swear to god. even going out with you i had to stop myself from doing certain things... SECOx804: why??????? SECOx804: i was ready to do alot more than what we did and you shoulda known that Detectivezim2: yeah i kno. i don't know why i wouldn't let myself do anything... SECOx804: well it would of got rid of alot of akward moment SECOx804: s Detectivezim2: i kinda wish i would've because of that SECOx804: yeah i really wish you would of atleast told me or gave some sign of wanting to Detectivezim2: yeah well... SECOx804: shit happens SECOx804: normally to me Detectivezim2: idk why i didn't. i think i was afraid of you in a way b/c of what you told me about yourself b4 we went out SECOx804: oh SECOx804: but for the record i really am not the cheating type Detectivezim2: this convo is weird and way out of my boundaries. oh well. too late SECOx804: ???/ SECOx804: why is it outta your boundaries SECOx804: ????/ SECOx804: hello Detectivezim2: idk just the subject SECOx804: how so Detectivezim2: sorry i'm giving brittany and stacey advise at the same time SECOx804: we have to right to talk about whqat went on when we went out SECOx804: ah Detectivezim2: i never thought i would tell you ot anyone else how i really felt SECOx804: i never thought you would either SECOx804: but maybe its a sign that we grown up SECOx804: some Detectivezim2: yeah SECOx804: so do you think things would of been better if one of us woulda made the move to make out that night? Detectivezim2: yeah probably Detectivezim2: u there SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: i was just thinking SECOx804: like normal SECOx804: wats your thoughts on things? Detectivezim2: idk Detectivezim2: u? SECOx804: i think that seens how were lot better friends now and can acually talka bout things that sometime over the summer if we got back together everything would be fine Detectivezim2: maybe idk SECOx804: si the thing with jamie causeing you to lean towards no Detectivezim2: no i'm over worrying about your sex life SECOx804: how can you have a sex life if you havent had sex in 2.5 years Detectivezim2: whatever. it's still sexual. i guess. SECOx804: yeah i guess Detectivezim2: soo SECOx804: soo Detectivezim2: i wish you still lived at those apartments. i liked those walks. SECOx804: yeah those were nice SECOx804: i mena i do live in a neighborhood we could walk through here Detectivezim2: yeah. it's not the same SECOx804: true SECOx804: we could drive over there and walk around SECOx804: lol Detectivezim2: yeah we drove by there today. it brought back memories. SECOx804: of me being dumb Detectivezim2: no.. the memories of the 4 of us at those apartments are the best i've ever had... i miss it. SECOx804: yeah i do miss it to but it wont be the same ever again cause i dont trust julie at all Detectivezim2: it was better without them anyway SECOx804: yeah SECOx804: man talking about this is makeing me have withdrawls Detectivezim2: me too SECOx804: Detectivezim2: **sigh** SECOx804: wat ya thinking about? Detectivezim2: i'm being sad with stacey SECOx804: i made her laugh SECOx804: sad? Detectivezim2: yeah about random stupid things SECOx804: like? Detectivezim2: certain guys SECOx804: like? Detectivezim2: question? SECOx804: wat? Detectivezim2: when you went out with makayla... was there ever the tiniest thought in your mind that you knew it was making me jealous and you liked it? SECOx804: yeah but it didnt last long SECOx804: KissMeCrazy90: rawr KissMeCrazy90: i feel a crap coming on KissMeCrazy90: hmmmmm Detectivezim2: i knew it... because you told julie that you were happy that i was mad at you. SECOx804: i did Detectivezim2: yeah SECOx804: i somewat remember it Detectivezim2: then it must happened SECOx804: but yeah i was happy for a short time SECOx804: but the i started thinking about youi alot for some reason SECOx804: and then wasnt at all happy you were mad at me Detectivezim2: nice to know... SECOx804: really the happy feeling only lasted like a day or 2 Detectivezim2: i wasn't acting out of jealousy. you should know that. i was mad that you were so different, and that you weren't talking to us, and things weren't the same SECOx804: i know SECOx804: i see that know SECOx804: i know ive changed SECOx804: but i wont ever be the same again Detectivezim2: i kno Detectivezim2: that's what made me upset SECOx804: im sry but ive go through a lot this year and it just seems to keep going down hill Detectivezim2: yeah i know Detectivezim2: so SECOx804: ? game again SECOx804: ? Detectivezim2: ok Detectivezim2: you first this time SECOx804: ok SECOx804: wat was your first thought when i told you about me and jamie? Detectivezim2: i was confused and thinking that i thought she said she would never take you back SECOx804: i thought that to SECOx804: and still am confused by that SECOx804: your turn Detectivezim2: what was your first thought when i told you that i almost went out with that guy after i broke up with you SECOx804: i had mixed thoughts SECOx804: i was happy for you but jealous of him Detectivezim2: ur turn SECOx804: do you think if we got back together it would work out? Detectivezim2: there's a chance it wouldn't SECOx804: theres a chance every relationship wont work out SECOx804: i mean compared to how we were Detectivezim2: yeah but ours is exceptional SECOx804: how so? Detectivezim2: because we've both changed so much since then SECOx804: yeah Detectivezim2: what would you do if i found someone SECOx804: be jealous SECOx804: wish i was him SECOx804: and then id probly try to scare him somehoe SECOx804: somehow** Detectivezim2: like how SECOx804: i dunno SECOx804: threten him Detectivezim2: mhm... Detectivezim2: that's low Detectivezim2: lol SECOx804: i know SECOx804: well i dont know how it is for you but it would be really hard for me to watch a girl i love with another guy Detectivezim2: you're complicating everything SECOx804: i know SECOx804: thats what i do Detectivezim2: fo sho SECOx804: lol Detectivezim2: yepp SECOx804: whos turn is it Detectivezim2: yours SECOx804: my lil pony or bob the builder Detectivezim2: oh come on SECOx804: wat Detectivezim2: taht's a sucky question SECOx804: you seem to not really wanna go ne further with this convo so i decided to try and well i dunno SECOx804: ok ummmm SECOx804: ......... SECOx804: why does what i said complicate things? Detectivezim2: because you're making things more awkward Detectivezim2: you should save this convo on your sitdiary SECOx804: is the truth akward to you? Detectivezim2: i got cut off and lost it SECOx804: ok Detectivezim2: no it's just making thinkgs awkward to know how the other feels for some reason SECOx804: well i gess i might feel akward if you acually told me how you feel Detectivezim2: i have SECOx804: in a round about way Detectivezim2: yeah Detectivezim2: it doesn't matter anyway SECOx804: see now that you said im making things akward i cant respond to that statment Detectivezim2: go ahead SECOx804: nope SECOx804: see i lerned while we were going out to watch wat you say cause you ask for answers you dont want Detectivezim2: right. SECOx804: you do SECOx804: neway im goin to bed so nite Detectivezim2: ok Detectivezim2: nite