Oh shit. I wrote like an hour this diary and then the computer didnät send it so here we go again. np. Green Day - Give me Novocaine ^^ love this song. it's so. hmm, can't quite describe it, but it's great. So today. hmm. I slept kinda late. till 2.30pm. pretty good, huh? The I went joy riding with some friends (you know that u drive a car around the city without really going anywhere. it's fun). and then i went with brid to this kind of a mall place. luv it. we ate there something (salad was great) and then went to play some games, and the jones came there. well not really there but I turned around and saw him there staring at me. then i turned back and got these butterflies. kinda. SO at this point you probably donät know what I am saying so Iäll explain to you who jones is and our story. So, Jones is this boy who last year went to the same school than me, and my friend had been togetha with his friend and I't didn't end well so i think he doesn't really like brid. Brid is now with Jones'es other friend, and he hardly talks at her. But still. So I got to know him las autumn when I was drinking somewhere. We just clicked right away and talked a lot. Then I was kinda drunk and made out with his friend, who the really intrested in me. Well that thing didn't last long. I saw him in winter occasionally at school, but we are in different groups so we didn't really talk. Then his other friend harrassed me in school but that's nothing. Then in april, we we're at a party, we're we talked again and slept together (and to clear this all we did was sleep.really.) then about three weeks ago we we're at this party and kissed and stuff, and the next week it happened again. after that I have kinda avoided him, 'cos my I'm kinda afraid to admit I like him. And because he's kinda in an other group then me. I have friends who don't like his friends and so on. He wanted to see me sober, but I kinda declined the offer. I did that because I didn't wanna admit to him/myself that I had feelings for him. And now this sucks. Am I great or what??? :D But we'll see. But you know, when i kissed him i felt something. I haven't felt that in a long time. When I was with Max, i had that feeling but it's been two years after that. So it's about time. Sure I have been with dudes after that, but I havne't really felt anything and the thing is always over before it really has started. well. we will see.