oh my god, I havent written anything since november, so i guess now is the time. Ok, I have kinda noticed, that when I have a bad period in my life, I tend to write here, and that's just because, I hang out at home more often these times. Ok, so I feel sad, cos I made a couple of huge mistakes, and I'm in the need of doctor phil :D ok, he's too annoying, but someone similar to him, 'cos I really wanna sort me and this mess out. So I wrote on november that me and eve were with this guy, who we had just become friends with. So now, 5 months later, were not anymore. At first we just started to spend a lot of time together, and then on december we just started to hang out just the too of us and spent the night together, at first just hanging out and being friends, and then like much more. Then he said he was tired of playing around and wanted to be together, and I said I'd think about it. Then on like, February we started our thang, and I went to a party and got drunk, and made out with this guy I have had a thing earlier this year too. Well, this first dude, lets call him mister X, obviosly found out, and said it was kinda ok, that we could still be together, but that I'd had to take it seriosly this time and stop playing around. I said no, and we parted in hmmm, well not so good ways. While this other guy (the one at the party) wanted my AOL address and we always talk there and everything, and see eachother at school, and have lots of fun. He all the time says the kinda things that he likes me, and bla bla, but he just doesnt do anything! I just feel that I cannot connect to this guy the same way I connected with x and I miss him, but im too proud to say anything. For the past month I have just been at home and cried my eyes off, 'cos I miss him so much. Since the breakup we have talked two times, and he has said his sorry for saying some bad shit the night we broke up, and he said that the thing between us does not bother him anymore. But at first when we broke up he said that he felt there was something there he could not explain, nor that I would ever understand it. Now I think I do, I have been so sad, cos I also lost a really good friend, our humour was the same and altough we fought, it was always in good spirit and it wasnt like fighting, just like the way that couples irritate each other. I feel I had made a huge mistake, what should i do? And I miss him so much as a friend, would be so cool to hang out and just be. Was the going over the friendzone a mistake? Should I wait that the party guy picks me up, or should I ty to get X back?