so apparently i was seriouse about the one entry a year thing.. lol thank god for tasa remembering my sign in name, cause i sure as shit never do. anyway. mylifemylifemylife. well. IT SUCKSSSS. haha i have bad taste in men.. tyler. blayze. jeremy.. whatever men are in the previouse entries, i dont fucking know. hahahahha. all hurt bagssss.. jeremy jeremy jeremyyyyyyy.. well things were pretty good after the last entry, we moved in together in july, and i found out moving in with someone is super hard, but he still made me incredibly happy. I got to meet his parents, and his little boy, and the rest of his family.. most amazing people in the whole world.. thenn lately (almost two and a half years later) things have fallen to shit.. i got depressed somewhere along the way and stopped making an effort, we just found out i misscarried our baby.. (i just read that we thought i misscarried once before, now im wondering if i did?? maybe i cant have babies?) anyway this time we know i did, and it's been a really difficult situation, especially cause he hasnt really been around for me. he sent me home to my parents to get psychiatric help, cause i was cutting myself, and he couldnt handle it.. so now ive been dealing with the loss of him, and a babeeey all by myself =( worst possible feeling ever. i feel like the odds were always against me and jeremy, but we've made it soo far, i really hope once i get my help and beat this, i can mend our relationship.. if not i dont think i will ever be complete wiht out him.. every post i've writen i had a new boyfriend.. but i said when i turned sixteen i wanted to find something real, and i found him.. now i need to fix what i broke =(.. help me?? car accident.. hmm i just had my third knee surgery last week too. so my life's pretty much been a gong show since the accident. i just want it back to normal.. but i dunno how, or if it ever will

haha -- i love how i come back like umm, once a year to write an "update" on my life. it's kind of funny to look back on entries i wrote in 2004, and think about how much has changed -- how much i've changed -- how much i've grown up; it's crazy! i don't even know where to start with my "yearly update" haha.. i guess with one of the biggest events in my life -- my car accident. June 15th, 2006 Jeremy (yep, same guy in the last entry -- finally some one who i kept around haha) got into a car accident. he was going around a 30 km/h corner doing between 80-100 km/h, and we missed it and hit a tree. I wasn't wearing my seat belt, and i hit the windsheild. i was taken to the hospital -- i underwent 2 ct scans, and 1 set of x rays.. then they told me i had "a minor break in my leg" and "second and third degree lascerations on my face" -- they sent me home. i spent the night in the worst pain i've ever felt in my entire life. in the morning i went back up to the hospital where i met with a sirgeon and he informed me that i had a serious break and should have undergone surgery the night before. they gave me an iv and put me in my own room. i was supposed to go into surgery that night however i had to have surgery on my face as well and it couldnt be done until the fallowing day and they didnt want to put me under twice. so the next day i had a surgery on my knee (1 plate, 3 screws, 1 wire) and dermabrasic sanding on my face. i don't remember any of my stay in the hospitat -- other then the excruciating pain i was in, and the fact that i was not my nurses favorite pacient. -- once i got out of the hospital i was on crutches for three months, and i wasn't aloud in the sun for four. -- this took a huge toll on mine and Jeremy's relationship. i turned into the biggest bitch. i constantly talked about killing my self, talked about how ugly my face was, talked about how he destroyed me and my life. i pushed him to the point he couldn;t talke it any more, and stopped spending as much time with me, which made me even WORSE. leading to our break up.. Jeremy and i broke up, and i met a new guy his name was tyler. he was pretty awesome, but needless to say it didn't work.. Jeremy and i tried to get back together again -- me still being fucked up, it failed. The most recent guy's name was Blayze, things with us were pretty good for the, oh, two months that it lasted -- but then jeremy popped back in my life, gave me a promise ring, and i lost blayze to some slut. so now i'm giving jeremy his final chance to prove to me, he can be somebody worth spending my life with -- it's my graduation year, and i am ready to find somebody who is worth settling down with. we've pretty much been together for 20 months, minus two breaks that barely lasted. so i think this should be alright. anyways. i sshould get going. prehaps i'll write more often, so when i forget i can look back next year, and be like "hahahahah omg im a douche bag" <3 laterr bitches

kay so, once again it's been a really long time sense i wrote in this. but im still with jeremy =)! it will be seven months on sunday, i love love love him to death. we've had a lot of fucking ups, and DOWN. but we've managed to pull through them, hopefull i got another few seven or more months ahead of us. i've been really sick for a couple days, =(, and then the other night i started to bleed, so my boyfriend thinks im having a miscariadge, and im to scared to go to the hospital, i dont even know if i was ever pregnant, but im so sick, and in so much pain and bleeding lots... i wish TAHIRAH woudl come online.. i need her x 343275

HOLY SHIT MOTHER FUCKER. I HAVENT WRITTEN IN HERE IN FUCKIN YEAARRRSS.. LOL.. well its the second day of 2006. so perhaps i should maybe write a lil sumn sumn. lol.. fuuuuuuuck chris, and all those boys of 2005, they are pieces of shit, and werent even worth the entries i wrote about them. lol. ahha my neww boyy is my everryingg. i love him so much, and im going to start writing in here, again and all my entries should be of him i hope i hope. lol. no more little boys.. kay so jeremy. is so awesome, we havent been together for that long, just about four months. lol but it's been a crazy four months. and this is the happiest ive been in a long time. and scared, but its a good scared. ahh this feeling rockss. hehe, and i cant wait to see where me and jeremy go. ne who im out i cant wait to start writin in here again =P one love. xo

holy shit. haha its beeen a pretty fucking long time. im not even going to bother up dating wats happened between then and now, cause it doesnt even really matter.. but its summer, hooray, and im done school hooray, and now i get to go to calgary in like 9 days..HOORAY! .. im stoked i cant wait, i had so muhc fun when i went there.. i got to see chris, and every one, and me and chris ended up like hooking up it was weird (the chris i probibly talked about in my "2005" entry) yaa. it was good jsut to be around my old friends. i never went and saw mary or jacqui or ne one, cause i seen them when i went on may long weekend, and ill prob be spending most of my time with.. mary ne ways me and jacqui are fightin, its stupid shes being a little bitch just cause she was sad and i asked her wat was wrong, i dono wtvz.. i dont really care right now iver been super duper sick.. and "weird" things have been happening to me, and ive been in really shitty moods lately,. so i went to the dr, and my bc pill i just started is like skrewing up my hormones, lol so they have to find a new kind i can take, its kinda lame, because i just have been gettin sick and stuff for nothing, cause the bitches just fucked me up.. lol but ne ways ima header. xox love brit

RYAN PEDERSON IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING GOOF, AND I AM GOING TO RIP HIS BALLS OFF, AND FORCE FEED THEM DOWN HIS THROAT TILL HE CHOKES, AND DIES, AND THA LAST THING HE SEES, IS THE FUCKN MASSIVE SMILE ON MY FACE. -DONE-

:( me and ryan broke up again.. he told me he didnt wanna be with me, and im so confussed, ahg. i knew it was comming, its like im not happy with out him, but im not that happy with him either. then last night we all went to the carnival, and he was like, your pretty upset hey adn i was like no im jumping for joy, and he gave me a hug, and i didnt hug him back, and he gave me a kiss on the fore head, and he was like "i want to be your friend, i dont think we wil get back together tho.. so hug me back if you want to be friends" and then he hugged me and i just put my head on his shoulder, and he was like "i guss you dont wanna be friends hey, and os i hugged him bcak, and he kissed me like 32904723 times on the fore head, and the cheak, we hugged for like 10 minutes, it felt like so long, i just wanted to stand there and cry on his shoulder, bah this sucks so much..

okay first thing i have to say is. JESIKAH FUCK OFF WITH YOUR GAY STUPID FUCKIN COMMENTS FOR THE LAST TIME, GET IT.. GOT IT GOOD. IM FUCKIN SERIOUSE. secondly, just to let you know.. two faced friends SUCK but thx for comming out.. BAHG im in such a bad fucking mood. people piss me off. me and ryan got back together on sunday, and we are already fighting, because he snapped on me for hookin up with nick or wtv, and he was like gettin with katlyn ne ways, and that bothers me so much he had no right to be mad at me, if he was going to go adn do the same thing, then lie to me about it.. like get a fuckin clue.. then today, he was like ya im going to go biking fer a bit, then ill come over, tehn i like waited all night for him to come over, and at like 7 he came over, and hes like hey babe sry i was gonna come over then i went to kimberley.. like fuck off, if your going to make plans with me.. fallow through with them, or dont fucking nother bahhumbug

holy mother fukker.. so much has happenes since i last wrote... so i gues i will start from oldest to newest. [nick] is such a fukkin flammer.. hah i wish i never even waisted time on him.. [ryan] I started going out with ryan pederson like 10 days after my last entry.. and things were so good till like the end of march-ish. we started gettin in fights when he was drunk and hed take it out on his friends, so i was commin between him and his friends, so he broke up on me, then frinday [april 1rst] i went to "Agestock" and i dropped ecstasy. and ryan didnt go, and i ended up kissin this nick guy. and my "friend" theran [walkingdead] went and told him i hooked up with like 5 people, and i never. [THERAN IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU GET YOUR FACE BEAT INTO THE FUKKIN GROUND, AND IF SOME ONE IN VERNON DOESNT DO IT.. COME BACK HERE, AND I WILL YOU FUCKIN UGLY ASS HURT CASE] heh. any ways. so that started a lot of shit between me and ryan.. and so he like hated me so much.. [spring break] spring break was pretty fun i gues except on dans birthday 2 grade 12 girls who were like 2 times my size beat me up for punching a boy. they hit me like over 20 times, and i didnt even cry or bleed or get a black eye.. YAYA im a trooper. [april 2nd] = MY SWEET MOTHER FUCKKIN SIXTEEN WOOT WOOT.. -- Yah i did like NOTHING for my birthday, except take care of ryan cause he was so fukkin drunk.. yep sweet sixteen takin care of the ex bf.. boo for that.. but i had fun on friday evey tho THERANS A LIEING BITCH FACE. [yesterday]ryan re added me to msn, and told me how much he missed me, and that he wants to start hanging out again to see if we can work trhough our problems and get back together.. YAYA.. im stoked, i hope we do.. any ways im gonna header.. thats my update. [jesikah] STOP WRITING ANONYMOUS MESSAGES YOU GOON.

hm Im starting to get less home sick, and fit in a little more, but i still would very much like to go back to calgary. :( i miss every thing.. all the people.. my school my house.. i got a boyfriend now, which sorta makes me feel a little more.. eased i gues. Like there is some one whos looking forward to being with me, and what not. but for some reason i still feel lonely.. Like. i cant let go of what i had.. and im finding it hard to accept ryan, which isnt fair for him. and its making it hard. because he knows, he can tell that im longing so bad for my calgary life. my calgary friends, and my calgary boyfriend. I like him and want to be with him, but i want to be with brandon so terribly bad.. and then it makes me want to break up with ryan.. ahg i donno wat to do :(

heayy! haha wow i had another pretty damn good drunken evening last night. haha, me and shaylee and beta and deric got nice and fuckered up and went up the pls, and it was pretty hurt, so we were going to go to this other party, and then we didnt know where the shit it was, and then we went back to betas, and got more drunk, and then greg met us at macs, and we went to this other party, and we all were playin dress up and the boys were dressed up aas women, and me and shaylee were more on the manley side, it was fuckin awesome, and picture perfect, i wish i had a camera, then me and greg and geoff were going to go on a road trip, except the cops showed, up, boo! ahah and now im pretty fuckin sick, but we had a good night, and then i came home, and i talked to nick cause he was supposed to be with kc last night nad i was so mad ( super big slut ) and i told him about how much fun me and greg had together, because greg is his friend.. haha and now hes all fuckin mad at me, he got mad at me for being with romano last weekend to, he needs to get the massive dildo out of his rear end, and fuckin realize, if he dont want me, we ar enothing and he cant controll what i do ne more. but any ways im gonna go get my shower on. -B

oh my god, i would give every thing i own to go back to calgary. I fucking hate it here. one of my "best" friends ashley gillies, is such a fuckin idiot. this real big slut shaylee told her a bunch of bull shit about me, and its absilutly not tru. and ashley was like i cant believe you lied to me i thought we were like good friends and all this shit, and i was like hmm you fuck face obviously shaylees a cunt bag. and lied about every thing, but whatever she doesnt want to believe me, but shes making other people mad at me, and like 4 people want to beat me up, but 2 of them nicole said if they even saaay ne thing to me shhe will fuckin snapage. last night was so fucking awesome tho, if i do say so my self. i went to my friend stephs, and got totaly shit faced, and then we went to dennys, and then we went back to stephs, and aaron romano and adam hickey and a bunch of people came over, and they were all drunk to, and me and romano hooked up, it was so much fun, i loved just coudeling with him =D! i doubt ne thing will happen out of it, even tho we were both sobber cause it all went on this morning, but just being held by some one again was realllly awesome. any ways im going to go. l8r

today ofically sucked. im so bored, and sick of every thing. my school. this town. my hair. my face. being single. the bull shit relationships i get my self into when im not single. the people i assosiate with. how i spend my spare time. im just bored of every thing i never wanted so badly to just pick up and leave, ive never longed for calgary, for brandon, for mary, so bad before, i just want to be happi, and cranbrooks not doing it for me, i havent been here a month, and im alreaady as miserable as can be. i want to go home, and i want to be held by my boy. :( with a slit of my writsts i remember the taste of your kiss the feel of your grasp the words you said last the blood dripping down i fall to the ground A love i once knew was suddenly broken in two i wanted nothing more, then to hold u again the love of my life, my only bestfriend my soul mate forever i thought we were meant to be together the hands of time span real fast i was on the ground, holding on to the past with a knife in one hand and my head in the other i knew my life span wouldnt make it much further my breaths were becoming shorter i didnt have very much longer so i wrote my final good bye on paper spotted with red for you, my love, i was pronounced dead

so only 4 more days till I move.. im so fricken pissed. cause my mom promised me we could move to kimberley so she went and fucking got a house in cranbrook.. wat a duche bag. I dont want to fucking live there ever again, i dont know whats so fucking hard to understand about that. I went to the sum 41 concert, on the 23rd, omfg it was bloody amazing!!! holy shit. I got my hair pulled out, i have a swollen ancle sore ribs, and fuckin bruises every where AND I FUCKING LOVED IT!.. and cone (the bass player) through me his waterbottle.. omfg.. *creamage* ! holy shit. then there was like this girl pushing me closer to the front, then she was lke "Hey did you go out with some one named chris" and i was like "chris who" and she was like "montgomery" and i was like "uh who are you" and shes like "OMG YOUR BRITTANY ARENT YOU, IM MICHELLE".. (the girl chris cheated on me with on new years) .. so it was pretty random he met up out of like over a thousand ppl at a sum 41 concert. Me and dana are fighting. i cant take it.. its like i can feel my heart breaking all over again. we were finally sooo close once again.. and then ever since michelle came along, every things gone tho shit (cause she got with dana, and chris.. slut) haha.. and now me and dana are fightin about it constantly.. i dont want shit to be like this before i move.. i just want our last time here to be GOod. I went and saw brandon last night. wow.. i didnt think saying good bye to him Was going to hurt as much as it did.. i almost cried the hole train ride home.. he gave me a hug and he was like "i love you" and i was like.. ill call you later.. :S like fuck.. its so hard not gettin attached to that.. and i feel like such a bithc, cuase i wont say it back.. anyways im going to get going. xox brit

k so this is officialy the weirdest thing thats ever happened to me in my life.. i had a dream that i did ecstasy and i was lieing on the ground crying and screaming for my ex brandon.. and then I talked to him first thing this morning, and last night he did e and tried to commit suicide.. so now im all scared.. like my dream was tryin to tell me something. like he was in trouble and needed help.. so much shit has happened and it all keeps piecing together.. and im so scared because i dont know what to think of it.. or what ne of it means.. :(

woah geeeZUZ 10 days till I move.. its like creapen up on me :( it sucks.. things here like effing rock i dunt wanna leave:( it sucks x 2423723 omg tho matt made my fricken day yesterday, he live gave me 2 hugs and asked me to hang out before i move :D i donno if i will .. its just exciting that he asked!!! bah and me and jefri are going to the movies on tuesday :) im gonna miss that kid soo much.. woah ne ways peacen catch yuh l8r

Apparently, i spoke to soon.. Me and chris broke up!! bah tonight was a fuckin mess.. i hate it.. :( x1000 +14 Dayz+ :(

Oh man! well apparently i havent wrote in here for a while.. soo I suppose i should update a little bit.. [Whats New In The Lyfe Of B-rit] Chris-- Is absilutly wonderful.. he didnt have sex with that girl i heard he did on new years :D .. turns out dana (my love of all loves) knew the chick and he talked to her and asked and did some investigating.. and my chris was innocent the whole time. and now things with him and I are better then ever.. theres always a catch to the good things tho eh. Cranbrook/Kimberley-- IM FUCKING MOVIN BACK TO BC!! im so uber pisssed.. i finnaly get fuckin settled here, and i love it, and i love.. well.. really like my boyfriend, and i love my friends, and my life=fuckin awesome.. and now my duche of a mom is making me go back to the worse place ive ever lived in my life.. but theres always a catch to the bad things as well.. Mr.Penitch..OMG hes such a sweetie.. Nick is this total hot guy from cranbrook.. whos like making every thing so much better, and he treats me like a ficken angel.. awwh ive liked him since i was like in grade 8.. such the hottie.. but i dont think i can date ne one for a long time after leaving christopher.. :( !! im going to miss him x 1000 exams-- omg my exams are like a week away im so nervouse im barely passin math so i have to do acceptionally great on my god damn exams.. holy shit im nervouse as fcuk... any ways im gonna header.. thurrs your update jesikah.. xoxo later dayz

Well 2005!!.. my first entry of the new year.. this is where it starts.. out with the old,in with the new. -- New year, New Boys, New Beggining. Old:(dec 31) Last night i got a txt message from chris sayin he didnt want to go out ne more, then i was sad, so i went to jacquis, and they were soo drunk and being stupid, so i went to tylers party, and got soo drunk, and then i went back to jacquis and i called chris, and he was like wtf i didnt text yu i didnt have my phone all day alex did i dont wanna lose you blah bla. then i passed out. New:(jan 1) ha ohh man, waking upp this morn was such a mistake, i was so fuckin sick, it was terrible.. haha but me and jacquie and like 5 other ppl went to humptys for breakfast.. puke much holy shit -*Note to self.. dont eat there ne more*- then i came home, to find out chris fucked some bitch last night.. so thats pretty much over. newest (jan 1.. and on) i decided that im gonna spend my last couple months doing pretty much watever, then after my 16th bday, im gonna settle down. look for something thats worth looking, worth the time i spent looking, and worth every heart break ive had looking for him.. :) .. hopefully it works.. ahha i want a meaning ful relationship soo bad, enuff of this stupid bull shit 2 week bein cheated on.. used etc by guys.. but any ways ima header.. paaaayce,

Well for my first xmas away from the whole family, it wasnt so bad, I talked to my auntie and uncle and grandma last night on the phone.. I kinda felt left out, but it was still nice to hear them. for x mas i got my own computer :) score.. and i got a digital camera.. and a new phone and disc man.. and alot of other stuff. i was pretty spoiled.. hehe. I think its mostly cause my parentals wanted to make my shitty christmas as good as they could.. gold metal deffinatly. Im so tired, my mom got me a bottle of malibu,and i like totaled it last night.. ahha i was so intoxicated.. YES!! I get to see Brandon tomorrow :D im soo fricken happy. I miss him lyke fuckin crazy. i havent seen him for almost three weeks. so im going to his house and sleeping over. :);) it should be fun.. then monday him and I are going shopping.. or I might go shoppin with jess.. then go to brandons.. then maybe go shopping again with him monday? i donno mang, but im so excited to see him and to shop HAHA i like have all of matts shit, and all his friends are tellin me to just keep it :P haha i should.. and then if he asks for it back ill tell him he can fuckin shove them hehe.. any ways, im going to get going! Merry X mass all xOx