so apparently i was seriouse about the one entry a year thing.. lol thank god for tasa remembering my sign in name, cause i sure as shit never do. anyway. mylifemylifemylife. well. IT SUCKSSSS. haha i have bad taste in men.. tyler. blayze. jeremy.. whatever men are in the previouse entries, i dont fucking know. hahahahha. all hurt bagssss.. jeremy jeremy jeremyyyyyyy.. well things were pretty good after the last entry, we moved in together in july, and i found out moving in with someone is super hard, but he still made me incredibly happy. I got to meet his parents, and his little boy, and the rest of his family.. most amazing people in the whole world.. thenn lately (almost two and a half years later) things have fallen to shit.. i got depressed somewhere along the way and stopped making an effort, we just found out i misscarried our baby.. (i just read that we thought i misscarried once before, now im wondering if i did?? maybe i cant have babies?) anyway this time we know i did, and it's been a really difficult situation, especially cause he hasnt really been around for me. he sent me home to my parents to get psychiatric help, cause i was cutting myself, and he couldnt handle it.. so now ive been dealing with the loss of him, and a babeeey all by myself =( worst possible feeling ever. i feel like the odds were always against me and jeremy, but we've made it soo far, i really hope once i get my help and beat this, i can mend our relationship.. if not i dont think i will ever be complete wiht out him.. every post i've writen i had a new boyfriend.. but i said when i turned sixteen i wanted to find something real, and i found him.. now i need to fix what i broke =(.. help me?? car accident.. hmm i just had my third knee surgery last week too. so my life's pretty much been a gong show since the accident. i just want it back to normal.. but i dunno how, or if it ever will