Some nights I lose the feeling Some nights I lose control Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls still baffled about ditch vs sump. painting. waiting to hear on jobs else. tis a beautiful day for PD >< a new year's resolution nearly impossible to break: drink more, smoke more, fuck more, take more drugs and do more damage. i dont really remember anything since the beginning of december: badly phrased, i remember but it's one big happening, there's no days-no dates, no ends, it's all night and it's all day. it's timeless but it's past, it's passed. The Well: it's a feeling on steroids. all enveloping, a natural rush. without neccessity. it sits inside: an energetic mass pulsing. vicous tentacles softly teasing out. it is within everything. the sun as the sand, the surf as the sky, the people: nameless and many. It's why they laugh. it's why they're here. it's electric: the feeling between lovers, the feeling between parent and child, the feeling between friends, it's old and it's new. It's the patterns in the sand, the sound of the waves, the muted pleasures of families and friends drifting on the wind, it's those here, and those gone before, and it's those passed that stay. the force is in a well here. it collects, concentrates and amplifies. people come to taste. to absorb. to recharge or relax. Ephemeral herds drinking of it. the force feeds the body: frees it from the requirements of elsewhere-normal routine. it cleanses, it protects, it lingers within. and as we leave, tentacles stretch out from within, a desperately slipping grasp on the source. it tears at us to go back. like a magnetic force like a child leaving home like the orbit of the moon and it becomes replaced by just a feeling, a sad-numb, a longing attraction. a Need of the comfort, securitypeacejoy. a half memory of the force at the well. the beach is where i meditate. i didn't even realise until garyn had the goodness to impose the word on me. twas me an' ballas, dania, marina an garyn and i was sitting there cross legged. everyone was debating swimming but i'm the only one that went. the water was warm. twas me an ballas, those passing and the rain. it was dark. the fire was small. the water was cold. twas me an danesh, sketh and skot, an ballas. it was our own paintball field. twas me an matt and scott and sketh and theresa and ballas and josh. it was dark. the fire was epic, we do it for the scars and stories. the water was warm twas me an her for two hours. five minute friends. twas me an nig' and ballas. a sou-easter, black sands, surfers, rocks and rain. the water was cold. twas me an V and skot and sam, a long drive, 3 boxes and many more U turns. twas me and jim, up in smoke. tis me, for now. _ra 1242|140109